Recon Federation of Club Penguin

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: And by beginners we mean everybody needs to read this. And share it. Multiple times!

There seems to be lots of confusion about RFCP out there! Here on the official website we’ve come up with an easy, straightforward, 100% accurate crash course.

What RFCP Is:

• An army
• A loving family
• A pretty cool server with appropriate moderation and rules for safety

What RFCP Is Not:

• The devil
• A puppy killing factory
• A deep state mind control experiment
• A republic/democracy*

* We know this is scary to some! But actually we are happy with our government! And our voices actually ARE taken into account before big decisions are made, proven by the fact that we have: a suggestion box, army-wide conferences in #rfcp-summit, polls, office hours weekly, a support channel, and a “leave server” button, which can be clicked any time!

What Prior Bumble Is:

• A leader
• A dude
• Someone who enjoys having power*
• Good with words and connecting emotionally**
• A human being with flaws***

* And we enjoy him in power because usually he is pretty dope with it!

** Emotional manipulation! Aaaaa!

*** Yep! Including a temper and some off-color jokes. Which he often acknowledges and apologizes for.

What Prior Bumble Is Not:

• The devil
• The owner of the puppy killing factory
• Any of these ridiculous (and illegal!) claims of being a pedophile

What Some People Call RFCP and We Really Don’t Care at this Point:

• A cult

What Cannot Change the Above Facts:

• One open letter
• Two open letters
• Three open letters
• Four open letters
• Five open letters
• Six open letters
• Seven open letters
• Eight open letters
• Nine open letters
• A website lol
• Ten open letters

What If I Still Have Doubts?:

• Ask us for proof against the bad stuff! We’d love to talk to you!
• Come visit our server and see for yourself!
• Research real psychological phenomena of hivemind and groupthink to understand why there is so much hate against us if we are really not that bad.

Some out there will be annoyed by this ^ and say we need to be contrite. We’ve tried that, despite overwhelming evidence that we’re not axe murderers and that we haven’t committed the crimes so many other armies have and no one cares about (swaztika formations, doxxing, N-word usage, etc.). It still doesn’t get us anywhere. So THERE. ARE. THE. FACTS. READ THEM.

Share this! Read this! Read it OUT LOUD.

Signed,

Literally all of RFCP

If you’re enlisted, please comment with your approval (“Agreed” and any other remarks) if you want to make your support more public!

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Northern Lights, Ukahala: RFCP Reporter MicroHamster sits down for an interview to help you all get to know RFCP’s newest Commander.

On 19 September 2020, RFCP saw the retirement of our beloved Commander Prior Bumble. In the wake of Commander Prior Bumble’s leave, Commissar CoolJ stepped up to take the role (but not the hat) of Commander for RFCP. Now, we have an exclusive interview with RFCP’s affectionately-nicknamed “Coolmander” to find out more about his day-to-day life.

MicroHamster (M): How do you feel about being the new Commander for RFCP?

CoolJ (C): It feels great I’m excited to be your next cult army leader

M: You’re a very busy person with school and all of that, so can you tell us a bit about what goes on in the daily life of being CoolJ?

C: Usually I wake up, live for a bit, go to school, pay attention like 10% of the time, then I live for the rest of the day.

M: Do you have any hobbies or things you like to do in your free time?

C: In my free time I’m usually playing a video game.

M: What’s your favorite video game, or type of video game?

C: I can never pick a favorite anything because it changes every week, but right now it’s Tomodachi Life; and my favorite type is probably RPGs (role-playing games).

M: I assume you snack a bit while you’re playing? What’s your go-to favorite snack food?

C: Popcorn.

M: Caramel, butter, or do you like it a certain other way?

C: Butter, but caramel is good to. I like all types of popcorn.

After the interview was complete, it gave me an idea for our “question of the day” and a mini-game for RFCP and our other friends: What is your favorite snack food?

Using the chart below, match the person to their favorite snack food!

Comment below and tell us: What is your go-to favorite snack food?

Answer Key: A-4 , B-9 , C-8 , D-6 , E-2 , F-5 , G-3 , H-1 , I-10 , J-7

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: Behind-the-scenes data regarding the RFCP blog. If you love the RFCP blog, you’ll be fascinated to study our latest stats.

In our recent post taking an in-depth, comparative look at the PRA and the RFCP, we noted that the RFCP blog just recently surpassed the PRA in total website traffic. Now, RFCP blog releases an official update on the statistics observed by the website, including graphs of our site visitation and overviews of our audience patterns. Because we find this so interesting (and we know you’re all blog fanatics), we will attempt to publish quarterly updates.

To view the last official stats report, click here.

Charts and Tables

Our first table is posting activity–in other words, how many blogs there were per month. Note how November and the end of January–early February were the slowest months. This may correlate with the absences of Prior Bumble, as he had distanced himself from armies in both occasions at those times. The heaviest months were May and August (August with slightly more), both summer months with high soldier engagement and community interest.

The next two graphs are website views per month, and the daily averages of views per month, respectively. Note how May achieved the highest views, but according to the first chart, August had slightly more posts than May. It is possible that World War 8, which occurred in May, bolstered May’s visitation numbers past that of August despite having fewer posts. Overall, RFCP is seeing almost 40% more visitors in 2020 than we had in 2019, consistently for every month except October, which has not yet completed.

Let’s focus on the word count in this table. Our blogs have accumulated 57,020 words in 2019, and, so far, 75,106 words in 2020 (before this post!). The traditional length of a commercial novel is between 60,000-85,000 words. Speaking in industry norms, RFCP has essentially written two whole novels with its blog posts. While 2019 saw less words (and remember, we only were founded halfway through 2019 in June), the average word count for the post was higher at around 700 words to 2020’s 600 words. Did we just learn to communicate in memes in 2020 better than in 2019? Maybe so.

The most popular day and hour has shifted since our last stats publication. Previously, Tuesdays at 9:00 p.m. EST held the most attention of our readers at 17%. Now, you can see the day and time has changed, but the percentage remains the same.

The “Best views ever” was July 30, 2020. Why? Simple! That was the day we held the I-SPY Scavenger Hunt on the blog, which tasked readers with clicking all through the old posts to find hidden RFCP flags! Those clicks added up!

RFCP blog insights does show some areas of weakness–namely, we continue to average only 0.02 comments per post (meaning our readers do not frequently comment), and we have 7 followers–including one CPAH Reporter, Max. Hi, Max!

Some goals of the blog are to not only post once a day, but thrice a day; increase commenting engagement; increase subscribers; and, of course, keep providing the highest-quality writing and army news.

What do YOU conclude by analyzing this quarter’s statistics? What stats not shown here are you curious to know about? Let us know in the comments!

(Seriously, let’s get those stats up!)

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: RFCP kicked off the fall season with a second “Eventmas.” Now, the results are in. How did your team rank in our festival of fun events and friendly competition?

Last week, RFCP entered the fall season with a series of fall-themed events, echoing the first “Eventmas” the army held back in the summer. Officers were appointed as team leaders to both plan activities and get their teams active to achieve points.

The teams are as follows:

On Sunday, the 11th of October, Eventmas kicked off with a fun game of Skribbl, hosted by the Silver Ghosts team. We hit a max of 7 for the starting event and had a great time.

On Monday, October 12th, the Silver Ghosts hosted a game of Among Us and reached a max of 7. The teams had a great time figuring out who the impostors were and working together as crewmates.

On Tuesday, the 13th of October, team Bobbin’ For Hamsters hosted a wholesome Bob Ross painting event. We sat down together and followed along to a Bob Ross “Autumn Glory” painting tutorial and attempted to keep up with the professional artist. We maxed 6 and had a peaceful evening.

October 14th started off with a training event hosted by team Marine Gang, maxing 9. We sharpened our skills and had an awesome time.

Following the training event, the Silver Ghosts hosted a Spooky Stories event, maxing 5. For the event, we all gathered at the cove and listened and told scary (and kid-friendly) stories.

October 15th was the biggest day of Eventmas, packing in a total of three events into one day!

We kicked of the day with a Monsters, Inc. style practice battle, hosted by team Bobbin’ For Hamsters. We maxed 7 and had scary good fun.

After the practice battle, team Silver Ghosts hosted a sled racing tournament, maxing 7. We had a lot of laughs as we took turns racing each other to see who the best sled racer was.

Immediately after the sled racing tournament, the teams headed to MicroHamster’s igloo for a game of Bobbin’ For Bumble Bucks, hosted by team Bobbin’ For Hamsters. The teams picked water tanks each round to determine how many Bumble Bucks they won. We maxed 8 and everyone in attendance was a winner.

Friday, October 16th, was another big day for RFCP. We started out with a Ghost Hauntings event hosted by the Silver Ghosts. With our max of 11, we put on our ghost costumes and roamed around haunting the island.

Shortly after the haunting, RFCP members headed to a costume party hosted by team Bobbin’ For Hamsters. We had a max of 7 and had a lot of fun dancing and hanging out in our costumes.

October 17th we saw a max of 11 at a training event. We practiced some new tactics and formations and sharpened our skills.

Following the training event, we headed over to do the candy hunt held on CPArmies, hosted by team Bobbin’ For Hamsters. We maxed 6 and filled our baskets with all the candy we could find!

October 18th was our final day of Eventmas. For the last event, we headed to the stage for a performance of Night of the Living Sled. We maxed 5 and gave the performance of our lives.

When all was said and done, our total max for all of Eventmas was 89; averaging in at about 7 penguins for each event. By now it is clear that the two real contenders in this contest were the Silver Ghosts and Bobbin’ For Hamsters. Did their aggressive performances scare off the other teams from trying to catch up? The results are as follows:

1st: Bobbin’ for Hamsters (Hamster)
2nd: Silver Ghosts (Shy Guy)
3rd: Team Priority (Josh)
4th: Vampire Knights (Anilia)
5th: FEDDIEGATE 2.0 (Coffee)
6th: Marine Gang (Don)

Congratulations everyone! We hope you all enjoyed RFCP’s Awesome Autumn Event Contest, otherwise nicknamed Eventmas. Happy fall, y’all!

Leave a comment below and tell us what your favorite event was!

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: Patriotic crossword, word search, and word scramble games for our soldiers! Erat ipso sacra!

Can you figure out all these fun RFCP puzzles? Print them out or paste them into Microsoft Paint to play! Click to enlarge.

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