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The Whack-A-Mole War

RFCP emerged victorious from its third war with the Lime Green Army, dubbed the Whack-A-Mole War.

This declaration came in response to LGA scheduling invasions of Cold Front, Deep Freeze, and White House, making their record 3/3 for being the first party to initiate conflict in this modern-era rivalry. What’s unique, however, is that at the time of this war declaration, LGA owned zero servers. This is how the name “Whack-A-Mole War” was conceived by Commander Prior: if and when an LGA server popped onto the map, RFCP vowed to “Whack-A-Mole ya” back to nonexistence.

The conflict came on the heels of DKA and WH’s war with WN, called the War of Sea and Shadow. DKA earned steady victories in this war, and RFCP remained neutral at the promise of a non-aggression agreement with WN. The only term to this agreement was that WN not cooperate with the LGA.

Inch by inch, this term was broken, and soon, LGA soldiers donned Ninja attire and fought in the war against DKA. Wild Ninja leaders attempted to patch up the holes flooding water into the sinking ship of RFCP and WN’s agreement, but it was too late. Commander Prior offered an interview with CPA reporter, Hexxer, on the matter:

Hexxer: Why did the RFCP decide to join the War of Sea and Shadow?

Prior Bumble: RFCP was not intending to get involved in this war. It seemed like a good opportunity for our former colony to grow and stretch their legs, which they certainly have done. I am even, in fact, fond of the Wild Ninjas. But our non-aggression agreement with WN had one stipulation: that they cannot work with LGA. Almost immediately afterward, they broke this. We stood back watching blatant, name-glowing LGA fight on the Ninja side, but when LGA declared their invasion of WH’s Yeti (CPATG), that was our last straw. If LGA is coming to play, we will too.

Hexxer: How do you think this war will play out between RFCP – LGA – WN?

Prior Bumble: As I told Snork and Cena, if RFCP is provoked, this will be brutal and swift.

Hexxer: How do you intend to win the war? What are some of your plans?

Prior Bumble: I don’t see this as my war. We’re coming in to make some quick corrections and heading out. My goal will then be accomplished.

Hexxer: In your opinion, why did the WN decide to break the agreement between you and them, and work with LGA?

Prior Bumble: WN is characteristically an independent and isolated army. I think they felt pressured and like they were running out of options. I get it. But I hope they didn’t think I wouldn’t notice.

Hexxer: After you’ve accomplished your goals, will WN and RFCP become mutual again?

Prior Bumble: I can’t speak publicly about that at this time. But I hope we can return to “nice event :clap: :clap: @Prior Bumble” soon.

Hexxer: If the LGA drops out of the war, will RFCP too?

Prior Bumble: Perhaps not immediately. But that would expedite our departure.

Hexxer: As you wish! Is there anything else you want to address in this topic or say anything at all?

Prior Bumble: Strength is not devoid of love. Be strong and remember we are all humans behind this dark screen.

As promised, RFCP delivered a quick slap to the wrist on WN, seizing SuperCPPS server, Yeti.

This was followed by DKA and WH dropping out, leaving RFCP to field attacks from two fronts: the Ninjas and the Limes. EGCP, a close brother of RFCP, expressed intents to aid RFCP against this dual-assault, but found itself in a difficult position, as WN is their ally as well. To assuage this tension, a quick negotiation was executed between the Ninjas and RFCP. RFCP traded server Yeti, which they had just acquired, for server Husky, as WN preferred to retain their SuperCPPS territory.

Nice trade! :clap: :clap: @RFCP

The parties still in the dispute were now only LGA and RFCP. This strange aftertaste evolved into the Whack-A-Mole War.

The first conflict considered under the jurisdiction of the Whack-A-Mole War debuted with the defense of Deep Freeze, a decisive RFCP victory.

RFCP collected another rapid victory at a late invasion the same day of Yeti, to which LGA did not show.

From this point, aggressively bipolar timed warfare ensued. LGA’s invasions were scheduled at 8:00 a.m. EST (White House and Yeti) and, later, as early as 7:00 a.m. EST (Ice Bank). This was due to LGA stating that “timing” was their biggest ally with their new “AUSIA” division.

RFCP was faced with a moral question. Commander Prior did not want to ask any of his soldiers to rise so early for the army. However, in its entire history, the RFCP has never, not once, no-showed a battle. It did not seem the RFCP way.

So, astonishingly, Generals Sha and Cabin made the heroic decision to lead these early morning battles not to win, but to defend the honor of the army’s values.

To add a touch of humor to the matter, with Prior’s permission, some soldiers wore pajamas with their uniforms.

Whatever LGA scheduled early in the morning, RFCP yanked back deep in the night. This bred ire in #battle-room.

But this “AUSIA” division was really just Fresh, Karma, Greeny, Milamiala, and Snapple waking up before the school bus, and one AUSIA member, Pyxell.

It wasn’t until the 7:00 a.m. battle that Prior truly released his wrath. “Honestly if you’re waking up at 4:45 a.m. PST just to have a server for a few hours more power to you.” It was one of his less tempered moments. Some attempted to return controversy by accusing RFCP of staging a couple 11:00 p.m. EST invasions in its past, to which Prior replied that, “11:00 p.m. EST is fine for some EST players, all PST players, while 7:00 a.m. EST is fine for NO ONE.”

EGCP made thoughtful comments to this as well.

In NVA leaders’ chat, Cob remarked:

And promptly, in the #battle-room:

Miraculously, maxing 11, RFCP won this 7:00 a.m. battle anyway.

Credit to Ice Agent Raider

And at all other reasonable hours, RFCP triumphed.

Defense of Cold Front
RFCP taking back White House after losing it to an 8:00 a.m. invasion.

The Whack-A-Mole War stayed true to its name as, only one at a time, the server map blinked on and off neon green.

The war climaxed surrounding the struggle for Wool Socks. Wool Socks saw an 8:00 a.m. EST invasion by LGA, who maxed 8 to RFCP’s 11. However, LGA leaders were especially pushy on this battle, claiming superior tactics, and RFCP relented quicker than it should have in the absence of any awake admins and a deficit of awake RFCP officers.

Although Prior argued this when he woke up as manipulation by the LGA, he was unsuccessful, and the LGA victory stood. Immediately, a retribution battle for Wool Socks was planned. Commander Prior set an intense goal of maxing 23. And more, the battle was to be led by General Cabin (who’d faced the unfair manipulation that morning), so that the revenge may be his alone.

The battle was explosive. RFCP maxed 22, a mere soldier away from Prior’s aggressive goal, which he said, “Only wasn’t 25 after the Commissar talked me down.” The pushing was worth it, with dazzling results and stellar tactics by General Cabin.

This crushing RFCP victory effectively ended the Whack-A-Mole War. LGA refused to sign a treaty, claiming they saw no point to it, but they conceded that RFCP were the victors.

After the Peninsula Wars, RFCP had held a victory parade, dressed in RFCP’s formal attire, the white Admiral jacket, as opposed to the standard blue Admiral’s jacket.

However, for the Whack-A-Mole War, the celebrations and hollering were much more simple in RFCP’s Discord.

WHACK!

WHACK!

WHACK!

Staying Put: An Open Letter to CPA Editor Kailey310

I write this letter to ex-RFCP General, Kailey310, publicly, in the fashion which she has written her letter to me. You may find the letter here. I am not afraid to share it.

Kailey believes I have changed from being a kind leader to one of power lust and greed. She chose to put these opinions where not only our army can see it, but where all of my friends from other armies can see it too. It has been a long time since I cried. But I guess I’m resetting that clock in the warehouse.

So, I have crafted my response letter to Kailey, and it is my wish that it is shared as much as possible.

Dear Kailey,

You are the hardest worker I know. You bring sunlight into whatever room you enter. And man, you have the most beautiful singing voice. You were a joy to speak to, a joy to comfort in your sorrows, a joy to make your promotions as special as possible.

I’ve talked about you in real life, constantly with a smile, and sometimes even a tear in my eye because of the way you made me feel important and strong when I knew I wasn’t.

Nothing brought me greater happiness than to hear you say you were shaking with excitement at becoming an officer, and then even a General. Your heart is the size of the iceberg. Your photos always astonished me with their beauty and the love emanating from them. My favorite is still the one with you holding your little sister (or cousin? I’m sorry I forget). And all of us loved your laugh on VC and how much you loved giggling at Scribblio.

It was your idea to do the officer oath which you took only two days ago. We all loved this idea. You had a million of them and RFCP is all the better for it. You’re creative, warm, giving, and a natural artist in so many ways.

Just yesterday you said I was so sweet in our DMs. I never thought today you’d do what you did. I’ve never hated anyone in my life, though, and today won’t change that. As I said in the command room which you no longer can see, I don’t even hate the person who gave my brother the drug that killed him. I know his name. I know where he lives. They were all sick. They’re all lost. I pray for that person, too.

I have chosen to use my letter to show the world the good things about you. CPA is so lucky to have you.

There is a real, handwritten letter addressed to you in my school folder. I will not be sending it, as it wouldn’t be right anymore. I ask you to please not message me. You broke my heart, and you did so in the most publicly humiliating way you could have.

Know that I’ll be worrying about you and thinking of you as I always did, and as I do for all my soldiers. Be happy, dear. I will miss you.

To anyone else reading, please in your hearts give me a chance to prove that Kailey’s letter does not speak for my character. I love you all. This community has given me the chance to be what I never thought I could. I hope I can help you be that person too.

— Commander Prior

Recon Federation of Club Penguin

Testimonies from other leaders and RFCP troops after reading Kailey’s post:

“I love you homie. You’re an incredible leader.”

Cena, DKA, after reading Kailey’s post

” You Prior, are not a bad leader. In fact I consider you a great leader. ”

CC_jay, RFCP Corporal, after reading Kailey’s post

New Oath Added to RFCP: For Officers Only

Many unique traits contribute to RFCP’s culture, which set it apart from every other army. One of those is the immense gravity of RFCP’s initiation process. Not only are recruits forbidden from being in any other army, they also must be sworn in with the official oath of RFCP, an oath every soldier in the army has taken with the guidance of a currently-enlisted member. As a reminder, that oath, written by Prior even before RFCP was a registered army, is:

I, [Penguin’s full username], swear my allegiance to the RFCP, and to my brothers in arms. I will follow orders, defend, and serve with all my honor, and all I am.

Initiation oath of the RFCP

In the past few weeks, however, the idea of adding a second oath, which only and every officer (Colonel and up) of the RFCP must take, was proposed by General Kailey310. Commander Prior took to the idea immediately. And better yet–he ordered that not the officers, but the soldiers (non-officers) of the army write it. He asserted that they should be the ones drafting the oath that holds their leadership responsible to them.

Lieutenant Redbackwards was appointed as the committee leader to organize the draft of the oath. The non-officers of RFCP met in #rfcp-summit and fielded ideas and adjectives at one another. They discussed what an officer should exemplify, and what they wanted their leadership to be responsible to.

The original draft as shown below was presented to Commander Prior:

“I, [Officer’s name] as a [Rank] of the Recon Federation of Club Penguin pledge to uphold the constitution of the RFCP as a leader with reliability and responsibility. I pledge to be an objective and selfless role model for all soldiers of the army. I will consistently lead us to victory against our foes, and uphold these virtues with all my honor and all I am.

Original draft of the Officer Oath

Notice how the last line, “with all my honor, and all I am” coincides with the last line of the initiation oath. Prior was remarkably impressed, and offered some revisions “mainly to simplify and shorten the oath. Writing on Discord feels a lot shorter than it does in Club Penguin chat.”

“I, [name], undertake the role of Officer of the RFCP. I will uphold the Constitution and the Commander. I pledge to be a responsible, reliable, objective, and selfless model for all soldiers. I will consistently lead us to victory against our foes, and embody the virtues of the army with all my honor, and all I am”

Final draft of the Officer Oath

Since Prior still felt it should be totally in the hands of the non-officers, the new version was presented to the soldiers once again for ratification. It passed with enthusiasm.

A ceremony was then arranged to swear in all the current officers. One sponsor, a non-officer, could sign up to swear in the officer of their choice.

Slots were filled fast!

The ceremony also included a “passing of the sword” ritual. Here, the non-officer equipped the officer saber, and the officer did not. Upon completion of the oath, the non-officer passed the sword to the officer, unequipping while the officer equipped. This held heavy symbolism. It represented that the officers understood for whom they fight and lead for.

Once the officer gripped his/her sword, the crowd erupted in E+H.

In his speech, Commander Prior said, “For the RFCP infantryman, the new recruit, the agent, feeling perhaps disoriented, feeling perhaps small, may today show that they aren’t small in RFCP–they are RFCP.”

During Prior’s oath (in which he ironically swore to uphold himself), he snuck in a “hell yes” after I will consistently lead us to victory.

After the ceremony, the officers held a private gathering at Commander Prior’s igloo for the official officer portrait.

The occasion was joyous and renewing for both officer and soldier. Prior concluded the evening on Discord by offering some thoughts on the truly special and uncommon culture of the army.

Erat ipso sacra, with all my honor, and all I am.

Stress-Tests Reduce Stress Between RFCP and RPF

The greatest love stories seem to revolve around not only opposing circumstances, but opposing communities. Yet, the concoction of conflict keeping RFCP and RPF at odds was put aside these past weeks as the armies joined together to stress-test admin Superhero123’s new beta server for CPATG. The server needed to feel the impact of large armies at war; of many soldiers spamming !size and varying commands, to ensure it can handle the pressure. What better way to do that than to give it a CPA hurricane?

It all began in leader’s chat, with RPF suggesting EGCP, the second largest army, stage a titanic battle to deliver the stress Super needed.

In a bold move, unapologetic of being half EGCP’s size, Commander Prior pinged Ultipenguin minutes later.

It’s certain some eyebrows were raised at this gesture, both due to the two armies’ current political standings, and to RFCP being a smaller and less desirable choice to deliver this “titanic stress.” But the move was one of honor. No one stood up to the plate, and Prior was ready to.

This choice led to a sequence of four stress-tests (or practice battles) on Super’s beta server. The iceberg was used as a control room, and two new rooms, the box dimension, and the CPA news headquarters, were focuses for the site’s endurance.

A group chat on Discord called “Testing the Limits” was made, including Super, Prior, Pookie437 (RPF), and Ultipenguin (RPF).

August 22nd was the first test, and a fragile silence fell upon the RPF troops lined up in the Plaza when Prior arrived. “Hello,” one said. More hellos sprinkled in like raindrops increasing on the pavement.

“Where is Ultipenguin?” said Prior. “I want to shake his hand before this begins.” And so, in front of the two armies, the two Commanders shook hands firmly. The battle commenced.

RFCP proved its worth, not in numbers, but in its willingness to heed a large (nay, the largest) army’s call to arms.

Another feature tested on the beta was !army [insert army name], which auto-equips that army’s uniform to the user. RFCP had particular fun with this, dressing up as EGCP, their self-proclaimed big brother.

In the following tests, spread out in the following weeks, RFCP and RPF crashed the beta server several times, guiding Super in identifying the necessary revisions. The two Federations had fun with this breaking of the site, too. FEDERATION CLASH = SERVER CRASH.

The tests took place August 22nd, August 30, September 1, and September 2. They helped shape the new game platform, but also the relationship between RFCP/Prior and RPF.

In fact, Prior even felt compelled to drop unexpectedly into RPF’s server to greet the troops one afternoon and was welcomed with an unexpected gale of excitement.

Prior congratulated RPF’s “Soldier of the Week.” And…

Guess what?

He made the wallpaper. The fun continued:

And as quickly as he arrived, Prior left.

The beta server is now the standard CPATG server. It has passed Super’s requirements and is enjoyed by all armies now. The need for the stress tests are over. But did these tests reduce the stress between the two Federations? Or was that stress only ever imagined to exist?

Upon the retirement of QueenieLiz, leaving Ultipenguin the sole leader of RPF, Commander Prior had this to say to CPA reporter, Hexxer.

I am saddened to have entered the CPA stage late in the career of QueenieLiz. I’d looked forward operating alongside her in this spectacular league. RFCP respects her and honors her decision. Personally, I send her my love in this new chapter of life. No matter where her journey takes her, may she always remember she as a friend in this fellow Commander.

Commander Prior Bumble, RFCP

Only history can tell what the future of the two armies looks like. One thing, however, is certain. With EGCP no-showing the RPF’s war declared on them, and decreasing in activity, RFCP has gained ground, reaching #2 on an almost-consistent basis in CPA’s Top Ten. Certainly this nuzzling on the likes of RPF from directly below is not unnoticed. What this spells for the coming months can only be speculated in the chatrooms, public and private, of this great league.

Good fights, indeed, were fought. Good fights, indeed.

An Interview with Lt. RomanPrincey

This past month, RFCP hosted a recruitment contest for its soldiers. Members who attended recruiting events, swore in new troops, and sourced new leads for recruitment in CPR’s anti-army climate acquired points and competed against one another. The contest was headed and tallied by General Kailey310. Incredibly, the army has boosted in numbers, in what feels like overnight success. These numbers truly paid off in the Peninsula Wars where a single-handed max of 21 was achieved.

The motivation and prize for this contest was securing a highly-coveted interview with Commander Prior, published on the official RFCP blog.

We are proud to announce our winner in this contest: Lieutenant RomanPrincey!

Roman is one of the most senior veterans of RFCP, present before the army even registered with CPA (that is to say, before the organization was even officially an army).

His origin story is a unique one. Recounted in his own words:

Alright. So I was hanging out at the cove with some of my penguin friends. And this penguin comes up to me and told me his master wanted me to see him. And I was like alright. So I went with him and that’s where I met prior and he was like stay away from the ice berg and I was like. Never. I spit on him. And we fought or whatever. He chased me down and I reluctantly became an ally. There’s a blog post about from back in June.

RomanPrincey

Roman, as an ally, joined RFCP in its first invasions, and Commander Prior PM’ed him from Discord to request his support at these events. Soon, Roman became indistinguishable from a regular RFCP soldier, certainly just as passionate, but never formally enlisted, and therefore was never permitted for promotions. This needed to be changed. But doing so, enlisting in the RFCP, would require surrendering his regency and submitting to the Commander’s authority.

The decision was hard, but Roman chose to join, and a very special enlisting ceremony was held at the cove. Roman was allowed to choose anyone to give him the oath. He selected Commander Prior.

“Roman, my son,” Prior had said before the flames. “Are you ready?”

He was welcomed into the family at last.

Please enjoy this interview and congratulate Lt. Roman in the comments.

ROMAN: I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous for this.

PRIOR: Nervous to for the interview or being stuck here 1 on 1 with me for a half hour?

ROMAN: ….


Q: Congratulations on winning the recruitment contest! Is recruiting your specialty here at RFCP, or did you push yourself hard to be here?

A: Thank you! Well, I like recruiting and going to recruiting events and I try and make it to every one we have. I just did what I normally do and now I’m here lol

Q: You LIKE recruiting events? Most people find them to be the most laborious part of RFCP. How do you make them fun?

A: Yeah I do like recruiting events! They can be difficult at times but it’s so worth it when we get new recruits. What’s fun for me during those times is seeing people’s reactions when we tell them about RFCP and when we show them examples of what we do in battles

Q: That is a great way to interest people. So, let’s dig in a little more. You are one of the original RFCP members, present at the very first invasion. How has RFCP (and Prior!) evolved in three months?

A: Well it sure has gotten bigger, we went from being a small army no one had ever heard of to being number 2 in the top 10 armies, from having one server to owning sixteen! Everyone in RFCP have all gotten really close within these three months of knowing each other, we’re like a family now. We have had incredible growth and you have done an amazing job leading us.

Q: I don’t know who this “You” is you speak of….RFCP blog is totally written in the third person. Can you tell us your favorite memory of being in RFCP?

A: oh wow that’s a hard one, there’s a ton of great memories. My favorite though would probably be the wedding of two RFCP members. Don’t get me wrong I love the battles and the serious aspect of our army, but it’s the silly times like that which really stand out to me.

(Indeed, there was an RFCP wedding–Prior was both the priest and the father of the bride. He switched attire back and forth at the altar.)

Q: If there was a museum of RFCP, what three artifacts would you put in it and why?

A: Oo I like this question! I’d put the treaty of smog and citrus in the RFCP museum because it marked the end of our first war . Also the constitution because it’s very important to RFCP and …it’s the constitution obviously that would be in a museum! The last thing I would put in there is a Feddies award because the Feddies was one of the first large events that RFCP hosted that included other armies.

Q: We hear you’ve tried explaining RFCP to in-real-life friends. How did that go?

A: Haha oof. Honestly it took a while to explain what it was and for them to understand. They think we are all really weird but they find it hilarious. I’ve got one friend actually really interested in it though, I show her videos of battles and update her about CPA things!

Q: Is there something sacred about the fact that you can’t totally understand RFCP unless you’re in it?

A: Absolutely! From an outside perspective you can’t truly feel the sense of community we have or how much we care for each other.Idk if that makes sense though.Cause the Duck knight army isn’t part of RFCP and we love them and they’re always hanging out in our server to so…

Q: Prior is known for staying in character and being rather militant. Knowing him as his soldier, what is something about him that surprised you/would surprise our readers?

A: Something about him that surprised me was how kind he is and how he truly cares about everyone here. Another thing that might surprise you is much fun he can be. Prior at 3 am is something else lol

Q: What the hell is an RFCP “ship”?

A: Oh boy… well. A ship is derived from the word relationship. And shipping is the act of wanting people to be in a relationship together. So if you ship two people together, you want them to be in a romantic relationship. Some do this in RFCP and most ships here include Commander Prior. For example one of the major ships is Prailey, the pairing between Commander Prior Bumble and General Kailey. Other examples of RFCP ships are: Roman x Prior (Proman), Commissar x Prior, Sha x Prior ect. Our own beloved Lucky Quinn has even written fanfics of some of these ships.

Q: Good lord.

A: : )

Q: What is your favorite color?

A: Many think it’s red, but my favorite color is actually green!

Q: Controversial! Per RFCP policy, you gave up your crown as a “Prince” to be here. Do you ever miss it?

A: I used to miss it. But I’ve changed a lot since being a monarch. I can see now that being a part of this was worth giving up the crown for. I would rather be a Lieutenant in RFCP surrounded by fellow soldiers who I can now call friends than be a Prince all alone in his castle.

Q: Do you have any thing else you want to say to our readership?

A: Not that I can think of.

Q: All right. Part of your reward for winning the recruitment contest was not only this interview, but also to ask Commander Prior one question which he swore to answer honestly. You may ask.

ROMAN:

Q: Does Commander Prior have feelings for anyone in RFCP and if so does he want to be in a relationship with them

PRIOR:

Yes, Commander Prior has romantic feelings in RFCP. He is human. It is so easy to fall in love here, not because the people on the other side of the screen are anything you want them to be, but because you are exactly who you want to be. If CPA has taught me anything, it’s that love and need for each other can be evoked in any dark corner, between any stretch of megabyte, when all is silent except you and the screen. My feelings have been provoked here. How could they not? Truly. How could you ask for me not to fall in love?

What I don’t know is how “in love” is defined. I don’t know if the things I feel here are gills which breathe in the ocean that is this game, or if it is amphibious and would survive on land. I don’t know if I’m only “in love” because I truly am in and surrounded by love. The answer then, is that I don’t entertain any romantic relationship at this time. My policy has always been to not date any soldier, and that is not changing. But I think all of you can benefit from my counsel that your feelings are valid, real, and that just because the things we are experiencing together are events, histories, and connections that may blow away forgotten by the world, all of us will remember that this was our world.

I love you all.

–Commander Prior

Know Your Homeland! An Overview of RFCP’s Sixteen Servers

Since the conclusion of the Peninsula Wars, the RFCP has regained old servers, acquired brand new ones, and defended longtime domains. As of today, it claims the largest amount of servers in its history at a whopping 16 territories.

When soldiers are called to defend a specific server, does it really mean anything to them? Does is matter if RFCP owns White House instead of, say, Sled? What happened on those servers that give them unique meaning to the army? Much like how States in America evoke memories of their unique features (rolling hills, aqua coasts), so should the servers of the army be known in the hearts of the RFCP footmen fighting for it.

The map of CPA is divided by three continents. On the left is the various CPPS continent; a mosaic of the odd, standalone CPPS’es like Oasis and Penguin World. In the center is the continent of CPR (Club Penguin Rewritten). And on the right dominates the continent of CPATG (Club Penguin Armies: The Game).

But for those of you who only joined in the past month, you may be surprised to know that the map didn’t always look like that!

Above is how the map of CPA looked when RFCP joined the league. For a period of time, we owned the servers White House, Beanie, and Antarctica. Antarctica is the only once-owned server lost to a battle which we have never gained back. It was taken by RPF during our infancy, and five brave RFCP soldiers fought for the entire duration of the battle against 25+ RPF soldiers.

At this time, please join us for a tour of your servers, in an effort to foster patriotism and to bring greater understanding to what makes up your own backyard.

CPATG Servers

Northern Lights

Northern Lights is the Capital of the Recon Federation of Club Penguin. This server was annexed from LGA and successfully defended in the War of Smoke and Sour. It acquired significant sentimental meaning after it hosted the memorial service for fallen RFCP officer, Col. DatBoiRiven. It also hosted such events as the Feddies and other creative endeavors in the RFCP Renaissance (see this History page tomorrow for new writing on this recently-named era of RFCP history). It was temporarily stripped of its Capital status in favor of server Marshmallow, but what followed was a strong tendency of RFCP soldiers to still regard it as the RFCP capital in their hearts. It was officially reinstated as the Capital on September 3, 2019. There, it became a part of the “Big Three” capital triangle of RPF, EGCP, and RFCP, and also the horizontal strip of capitals recently referred to as “capital district.”

LEFT: Big Three of Tuxedo (RPF capital since 2007), Fiesta (EGCP capital, made infamous by a Nacho vs. RPF battle that maxed 120 total and boosted the server to three bars, the highest its ever been. Why was it so depopulated in original Club Penguin heyday? Because it was an Ultimate Safe Chat Server. The armies battled nonetheless, and the tactic “Grub!” originated from this battle)

RIGHT: “Capital District”

White House

White House was acquired freely by RFCP in the CPA “Server Shuffle” that took place in early June 2019. CPA was adding servers and randomly assigned one to every army who registered for one.

Above is a photo of what White House looked like when RFCP obtained it. Historically, White House was owned by many different armies and oftentimes served as the capital due to its presidential name. Previous owners of this server include the Underground Mafias Army (UMA–fun fact, this is Lt. Lucky Quinn’s former army), Rebel Penguin Federation (RPF), Watex Warriors, Army of Club Penguin (ACP–Oagalthorp’s army which Prior fought alongside in the PRA), Nachos, Light Troops, Redemption Force, and Army Republic, in that order. It is RFCP’s 2nd oldest still-owned server.

Great White

Great White was the last contended acquisition in the Peninsula Wars, RFCP’s second war with LGA. At this server, Commander Prior led what he calls, “The battle of my career.” Known as the “Taking of Great White,” it was the site of the only colonial combat RFCP participated in with the Duck Knight Army (formerly known as Duck Defenders) and hailed by hordes of spectators as one of the most visually stunning battles in modern CPA history. Historically, is was LGA’s capital from 2013-2014, and in 2016.

Sub Zero

Sub Zero are the only islands owned by the RFCP. Thus, once freely surrendered by LGA in the Peninsula Wars, Commander Prior threw a luau there and declared it the Commander’s vacation home with his island oasis. Currently, RFCP is pushing to rename Sub Zero “Southern Lights” and name Southern Lights “Sub Zero” so that Southern Lights can be below Northern Lights. Historically, is was owned by the Watex Warriors, the Golds, and the Pretzels.

Hockey

Hockey was acquired by RFCP in a historic trade deal with RPF in exchange for the former RFCP server, Chinook. Many in the army praised this trade as Hockey is twice the size of Chinook, and bears the name of Commander Prior’s favorite sport. Historically, it switched hands from small/medium categorized armies in the former leagues.

Cold Front

Cold Front is considered the key incendiary server of the Peninsula Wars. As freeland, and arguably the largest/most attractive territory of the quadrant, it was simultaneously scheduled by LGA and RFCP for invasion and sparked the feud for the northeast peninsula. RFCP captured it in the second battle of the war known as the “Siege of Cold Front.”

Wool Socks

The furthermost server to the northeast, Wool Socks was colonized by Duck Defenders in the name of RFCP and transferred to the fatherland. Upon announcing their retirement from CPA, Sage of Mopia, with Commander Prior’s permission, chose this server to host Mopia’s final goodbye party, and last mopping up of the island, which will include a trip to RFCP’s well-known bar, Lucky’s, to mop up RFCP’s mess one last time. Historically, Wool Socks was the cherished server of the Army Republic, because its AUS leader was named Fluffy Sheep.

Ice Bank

Although devoid of historical significance, Ice Bank was the site of the 2rd battle of the Peninsula Wars, where LGA retreated after only one room. It pressured the enemy by pressing against the then-LGA capital, Blizzard (CPATG). Upon winning this server, RFCP achieved geographic dominance in the northeast peninsula.

Southern Lights

Ironically, Southern Lights is RFCP’s furthermost north server, which is why Commander Prior is petitioning to swap its name with Sub Zero. It was invaded as a freeland server by the army. No other known historical significance exists.

Deep Freeze

Deep Freeze is an older RFCP server. It was acquired in the War of Smoke and Sour, and defended during one additional battle, totaling two battles in the war. Both battles are marked by the largest body of soldiers Commander Prior ever single-handedly led, many of them EGCP troops. It was also the only place he ever commanded the leaders of the EGCP, including one of his idols, Edu14463. Finally, it was here that Prior’s famous “I have walked among the wild, and the wild is you” speech was delivered.

Cloudy

Cloudy was colonially obtained for RFCP by DD. Historically, it was the capital of the Dark Warriors.

CPR Servers

Marshmallow

Marshmallow was gifted to RFCP by Mopia. After disputes with how CPR was being run, Mopia withdrew from the continent and chose RFCP as the recipient of the server due to RFCP’s kindness and “wholesome” reputation that won Mopia’s admiration. The transferring of the server was a sacred moment between Sage and Prior, and holds immense emotional weight. Many in Mopia visited RFCP’s Discord server to say, “Take care of Marshmallow <3.” Traditionally, Marshmallow is the 2nd most populous (frequently maxing out to “FULL”) and prestigious server on CPR, only below Blizzard. It was RFCP’s capital for all of August 2019 as a measure of defense, and a way to responsibly handle such a valuable server. Today, it is most commonly used as the host for RFCP’s CPR events.

Beanie

And now you have stumbled upon RFCP’s oldest and most historic server. Yes, that’s right. Beanie is the very first server RFCP ever owned.

Above depicts how Beanie looked when RFCP seized it in non-contested campaign from the defunct Tuba Army. Attendees to this “battle” (there was a lot of sitting around) were Prior Bumble, Redovyco, TrippleA06, DatBoiRiven, RomanPrincey, leeuigi, and keanureeves (AKA, Shallissa).

It then became RFCP’s first ever capital.

Later, it was the site of the first battle of RFCP history: the PZF vs. RFCP battle, where Prior was confronted with warfare he had never seen before, and hit with the reality of needing to reform to modern combat of emoji tactics and formations. The battle was a tie and RFCP kept the server.

Later still, it would be the site of the trigger to the War of Smoke and Sour, as LGA scheduled an unprecedented invasion of it and demonstrated their unreasonable attitude and cantankerousness to Prior for the first time. Many feel that the WoSS was merely a snap of Prior’s patience, and a moment of RFCP putting its foot down against repeated social disrespect. The server was lost to LGA, and would remain in their hands until the reclamation of the territory as the very last act of the Peninsula Wars. RFCP’s second-in-command, Commissar Redovyco, delivered a speech the mark the historic moment of its recapture. This was especially appropriate, as Redovyco was the one who suggested and counseled its original invasion back in RFCP’s infancy.

Other CPPS Servers

Deep Freeze (Penguin World)

In a continent overwhelmed with snowy EGCP presence, the second-southernmost tip of Deep Freeze is RFCP’s tiniest server. It was surrendered by LGA in the Peninsula Wars, only because LGA presumably did not see it on the map. When LGA transferred all their remaining servers to RPF for safekeeping, they mysteriously left this one out! Prior caught it, and scheduled the invasion immediately. It is RFCP’s only twin server with Deep Freeze from CPATG.

Blizzard (Penguin World)

Blizzard was one of the two GSG servers RFCP generously agreed to protect for GSG during the bloody Chronic Wars. Upon RFCP’s capture of Fjord, GSG’s old capital, in the Peninsula Wars, GSG asked if RFCP would trade one of the protected servers for Fjord. RFCP agreed. The server is attractive as it shares the same name as Club Penguin’s most infamous, most renowned server to ever exist, Blizzard. This is not that server. However, it’s a pretty good knock-off to the real thing, and most armies strive to have any server named “Blizzard” among its collection of territory.

Ice Cream (Club Penguin Origins)

Ice Cream was the second GSG server RFCP agreed to protect. It was kept by RFCP in a trade to GSG–RFCP did not want two servers named Beanie, so gave GSG Beanie (Penguin World) instead when GSG was ready to retake their land after the Chronic Wars. It is the northernmost server total on this continent, and perches above one RPF server and a sea of EGCP tundra. Not much else can be said for it except its deliciously fun name gracing RFCP’s repertoire.

What’s Next?

There you have your grand tour of RFCP’s 16 servers. It is the Commander’s hope that after reading about them, they adopt new and sacred meaning to you. Perhaps you feel more drawn to one than the other. Perhaps you have your own special memories associating with its history not recorded here. Share about them with your brethren. Take pride in your homeland. And remember, history is still waiting to be written by you.


Special thanks to DMT for answering Prior’s research questions

From the Desk of the Commander

NORTHERN LIGHTS, Office of Prior Bumble— As time slowly continues to sweep the debris from the Peninsula Wars off the edges of the map, the body of RFCP awaits an address from their Commander on many in-between events and political happenings that have occurred in the past weeks.

Soldiers of RFCP,

Either it is that affairs in CPA move too quickly, or I move too slowly. Important is the process of recording them for both our archives and to satisfy my obligation of keeping you informed and debriefed troops. This post will enlighten on and discuss events including:

  1. The three leaders’ polls and one petition Commander Prior voted in
  2. Cosmic attempting to declare war on PZF
  3. RPF declaring war on EGCP
  4. DKA (formerly known as DD) declaring independence

Voting Record

The Commander’s obligation to report how he votes and moves in foreign affairs is one of the most important rights granted to every soldier by the Constitution. A lot of power rests on me. Only I vote to represent the entire RFCP, and my votes affect what happens in our world.

On August 24, after increasing tensions among NVA-leaning armies, Cena of DD presented and compiled signatures for a petition titled Petition 145367, aimed at removing CPA admin Greeny (aka, Trev) from his authoritative position. The movement struck rapidly, with signatures being collected overnight from at least one representative leader from every active army except for Cosmic and LGA. Although weeks and maybe even months of frustrations contributed to this action, some could pinpoint Cena’s conception of the idea to this tactic performed a few days before by RFCP at the Skates invasion (LGA soldiers fought under the alias of Cosmic):

The mantra “Greeny honestly please act more like an admin” caught on in the general conversation of the CPA Discord. Greeny added fuel to Cena’s flame the following morning when, after Cena challenged him, Greeny replied, “Cena honestly smd” (suck my d—).

Cena was not alone in his feelings about Greeny. As the founder of LGA, many, including myself, believed Greeny simply has too much invested in LGA to be a non-biased admin, and his behavior has a reputation for being crude and combative, going against the grain of professionalism and levelheadedness the community expects from an admin. Greeny was never allowed to judge LGA battles. But what about battles waged between an LGA enemy and an LGA ally? The lines become questionable.

Soon, the petition was drafted and shown to Prior, who helped Cena proof it. It read as follows:

We, the undersigned leaders of CPA, petition for the reassignment of admin Greeny, to a non-judicial, non-authoritative, non-admin role in Club Penguin Armies. Our reasons are:

1. Greeny is extremely active as a leader in a current CPA army (LGA). Even if he is not allowed to judge LGA battles, he judges battles waged by LGA’s enemies and other politically sensitive events and polls

2. Greeny has demonstrated biased, rude, and un-admin-like behavior frequently. In our view, this does not represent how a fair, level, and respectful admin should behave. We, the undersigned leaders, express gratitude to Greeny in the other work he has done for the community and offer suggestions of reassigning him to other roles such as event planner, social media manager, graphic designer, or another non-authoritative position. We support calling forward a new admin, if one be willing. If our petition is refused, we will refuse to acknowledge Greeny as an admin going forward, including his vote in matters of battle, and if our boycott is not reflected on the CPA map and elsewhere, we will form and operate under our own map.

PETITION NUMBER: 145367

I added my signature to the following list of leaders, and one CPA staff member (DEF246). Some included a disclaimer that the process of operating in CPA with a different map would be discussed at a later time. RPF included a disclaimer that Greeny should remain an admin in other ways, but be removed completely from a judicial position. Cena noted to me that one factor that convinced RPF to sign was noticing how Greeny and I have been getting into it in the CPA leaders’ channel, and they perhaps knew my temperament well enough to know I wouldn’t get riled up for nothing.

Upon seeing the petition, DMT suggested that Cena instead make a Discord server to hammer out more concrete demands. Cena felt this was unnecessarily complicating it, with the 12 signatures speaking for themselves.

The admins discussed the petition and came back with a proposal to not allow Greeny to vote in any battle, but to still be an admin behind the war zone. Cena countered that it should be put to a formal vote in leaders’ chat with the options being A) Remove Greeny as an admin and B) Keep Greeny as an admin but disallow him to vote in any battle or have a voice of authority in such matters. I felt this was fair.

However, things soon fell apart. Upon being confronted with the reality of the petition, and after questioning by DMT (who felt that some of the signers didn’t really understand what they were committing to), EGCP and RPF, two of CPA’s biggest players, backed out. This absolutely gutted the petition. RPF especially, as the one non-NVA army, gave validity to the petition, and their withdrawal spelled disaster for the movement.

The petition was killed, and the admins withdrew even their original counter. Greeny’s position did not change save for the fact that he was spoken to by the other admins about his verbiage and behavior on the Discord. He pledged to be more professional.

I took this sequence of events hard. The petition was serious to me, but EGCP was more divided on the matter than they originally led me to believe. Their retreat from the cause, without talking to me first, left me looking foolish. Of course, with RFCP being LGA’s largest enemy, many in our army felt that RFCP had the most at stake with this petition. I took an overnight respite from the NVA leader’s chat to decompress, announcing that it was just a short break to brush off my feelings. EGCP leaders expressed their apologies. The next morning, I returned, eager to get back to business.

Greeny so far has demonstrated improvements in how he conducts himself online. I still question how little about his role was changed in response to 12 leader signatures. Nonetheless, I wish us not to linger on it. Buck up, and move forward. RFCP has dealt with challenges like this before and will continue to persevere.

Next were three quick polls presented to the leaders on the matter of colonies and declarations of war. With RFCP and DD provoking questions and strong opinions about the nature of a “colony” on CPA, a vote was presented to the leaders in leaders’ chat on this subject. What is a colony? How is it different than an ally? What should colonies be allowed to do?

All of my votes can be recognized by the slight highlighting of blue over the button I clicked. You can infer for yourself which polls passed and which did not pass by counting the numbers. Accept that those polls that passed are now CPA law.

(To the above poll: Interestingly, the same poll was presented 48 hours before showing a very low voter turnout and resulting in 10-9 in favor that armies should be allowed to declare no colonies (many of the votes were RPF and Cosmic). Cobra of EGCP and I pushed for the poll to be reposted, and the results were staggeringly in favor of not allowing armies to declare no colonies).

All in all, three very logical and productive polls were carried through. This last poll prevents armies from declaring war with no servers, as the other participating army could do nothing in the war but defend. It segues into our next topic about Cosmic.

The Curious Case of Cosmic

Cosmic has perplexed the majority of army politicians in CPA. Its leader, Pyxel, has confusing motives. Why show merciless aggression against GSG during the Chronic Wars only to surrender your servers? Why give said servers to LGA, but refuse to be their colony? Why have Cosmic leaders army-hopped, only to return affectionately to Cosmic, as with the case of co-leader Langley?

On August 21, RFCP invaded Cosmic’s capital, and therefore its last and only server, Skates. The scheduled invasion evoked only the sound of crickets. Cosmic, which operates on AUS times, did not acknowledge the planned event. So it was little surprise to RFCP that LGA arrived in Cosmic’s place, donning Cosmic uniform.

Fast forward to last Friday. Cosmic, after a period of silence (brewing and plotting, it seems), attempted to declare war on PZF.

The war declaration included these terms:

  1. No allies. 2. All servers successfully captured by Cosmic will be auto-transferred to the Lime Green Army

Ladies and gentleman, allow me to introduce you to the savagery of EGCP leader, felix/Guta:

And you already know the savagery that is Cena. Truly, I love our army’s friends.

The war was not put forth as the poll you read about in the previous section nullified Cosmic’s right to wage war without having any servers of its own.

RPF Declares War on EGCP

One army certainly within its jurisdiction to declare war is RPF.

The declaration created ripples of buzz for the first day, especially since RPF’s reasons for the war, stated in a blog post, targeted EGCP’s morality, referring to examples of inappropriately sexual and racial remarks by the Latin army’s hicom. QueenieLiz, RPF Rebel Commander, even made this appeal to the NVA leaders:

Naturally, the two armies clashed on Discord. The following screenshot from QueeneLiz was in reply to a counterargument Cobroso (Cobra) made…

…which Cobra promptly copypasta’ed. Seven times.

In an interview with DMT about the war, Edu said, “I’m deeply sad. I’m currently planning to kill myself.”

He was of course being flippant, in tune with the savagery characteristic of an EGCP leader.

My firm support of our Brazilian brothers will not be relaxed. Cookky condemned any sexually inappropriate remarks, Cobra condemned any racially inappropriate remarks, and it is possible that the charges against them lack an element of devilish humor.

On the other hand, I admire Queenie as a woman commanding the largest Club Penguin army. Her post mentions that one leader left the Cuddle Kittens’ battle after she was called a cow. That leader was me. She has my warmth and compliments and I hope for a less viscous community in our future; but not for one lacking color, which EGCP brings in droves.

What excitement the war declaration stirred quickly dissipated. So far, EGCP has not shown to the first three battles. But one should not expect so quickly that a greater strategy of retribution is not up their sleeves.

DD Declares Independence

Duck Defenders, with my blessing and encouragement, declared independence from RFCP and renamed themselves the Duck Knight Army. We gave them the server, Skate, and enjoyed that our former colony was claiming the capital of LGA’s colony. We remain close allies, and I will miss the colonists calling me Uncle Prior.

Unrelated, but on that note, we also transferred back GSG’s servers which we had been guarding for them, as all their threats are off the map.

If any RFCP soldier has questions still after this post, leave a comment or contact an available officer.

So much has happened; so much to happen yet.

–Commander Prior Bumble

RFCP

The Peninsula Wars

On August 27th, 2019, Lime Green Army declared war on the RFCP. In a matter of five short days, RFCP forced every LGA server off the CPA map.

The story is a complicated one. LGA and RFCP tensions are not new to CPA. In fact, some members of the community are refreshed by the impassioned rivalry in a climate of alliance-heavy entities. But the elements of this war, much like the War of Smoke and Sour, bred controversy.

Armed conflict was suggested when the two armies clashed over targeting the same freeland servers (Cold Front and Ice Bank) when the additions to the map were made. LGA leader hippieFresh and RFCP Commander Prior Bumble originally laid out terms for upcoming war. One of these terms was that no allies were allowed, but colonies were permitted.

At the time, Cena’s Duck Defenders were a proud colony of the RFCP. LGA didn’t object to this term as talks were being had with Cosmic to colonize them under LGA. But things changed when Cosmic ended up refusing.

In one abrupt late-night message, hippieFresh said, “Terms are off,” to Prior. Prior, fervent to the values of keeping one’s word (which he believed Fresh had just shot to hell, since virtual hands had already been shaken), scoffed and dared the LGA to force him to comply.

Before the expiration date of the Treaty of Smog and Citrus approached (August 27), Prior offered LGA one last chance to establish terms to control the blaze of the war.

And yet, the declaration soon following had “terms” indeed:

The validity of an army enforcing its own made-up consequences to term-violations, and the proper rights and usage of colonies themselves, were taken to the CPA leaders’ chat, but the rage in Prior’s blood came from more personal reasons.

Originally included in this war declaration were plans to invade RFCP’s Northern Lights. Prior took particular repulsion to this move, as he’d confided privately to Fresh that Northern Lights was his favorite server due to the sentimentality of Col. Boi’s memorial held there. He felt that LGA was using this information against him. To their credit, LGA removed the invasion plans, but only after forcing Prior’s hand in agreeing to no colonies regardless of what the CPA leaders might decide. Fresh later apologized for scheduling the invasion of Northern Lights.

And so, war commenced. 1v1.

Battles of the Peninsula Wars

  1. Defense of White House
    Wednesday, August 28, 2019, at 8:00 p.m. EST
    Led by: General Chainpro, RFCP
    Rooms: Town, Iceberg, Forts
    Result: Town=RFCP, Berg=LGA, Forts=Tie. Overall: Tie, RFCP keeps server
    Notes: Commander Prior, at :57, with three minutes to go in the battle, logged into the snow forts from his computer in a UVA classroom, right in front of his college professor (no fucks were given). His arrival may have tipped the scale for that last room, as the numbers on either side were deadlocked at 16-16

2. Storming of Cold Front
Wednesday, August 28, 2019, 11:00 p.m. EST
Led by: Commander Prior Bumble, RFCP
Rooms: Iceberg, Docks, Mine Interior
Results: RFCP domination.
Notes: LGA retreated and logged off at 11:19 p.m. EST, not showing up to the final room. There were criticisms that RFCP’s invasion time was too late at night. At the iceberg, RFCP debuted its previously classified signature tactic, Red Wave.

Red Wave (code named Crimson Tide) is a tactic where RFCP soldiers maintain clovers while passing an E+9 angry emote around the circle clockwise. RFCP had been practicing it since July.

3. Invasion of Ice Bank
Thursday, August 28, 2019 at 7:30 p.m. EST
Led by: Commander Prior Bumble, RFCP
Rooms: Boiler Room, Iceberg, Shiphold
Results: RFCP domination
Notes: The battle lasted for only one room when LGA retreated and logged off once more. With RFCP fighting entirely solo and the invasion time having being previously specified as a preferred time for LGA, LGA struggled to lean on any excuse for their defeat.

The pattern of withdrawal by LGA garnered contempt and deepened RFCP sympathizers’ deficiency of respect for the the Lime Green Army.

Noticing LGA’s growing exhaustion, Commander Prior scheduled more combat immediately.

4. Taking of Great White
Friday, August 30, 2019, 9:30 p.m. EST
Led by: Commander Prior Bumble, RFCP
Rooms: Ski Village, Ship Hold, Iceberg
Results: RFCP domination
Notes: In this battle, for the first time ever, RFCP historically met a solo max of 20. LGA mustered resistance and refused to run, but RFCP force overwhelmed. After LGA’s defeat, LGA soldier, Raider, deserted the LGA and asked Prior if he can enlist in the RFCP. Prior accepted. This monumental battle drew spectators including Ultipenguin and Janeyre of RPF, Cena of DKA (formerly known as DD), and Retro of PZF.

Commander Prior was especially fond of the BOOM/BANG alt tactic above.

In R formation, RFCP shouts out to Cena as he watches the fatherland. Meanwhile, LGA does their signature ? emoji tactic…again.

“The Taking of Great White will go down in history as one of the most visually stunning battles to wage in CPA,” Prior told his officers in the command room. “There are moments when you collapse into a chair and stare at a battle and you’re so glad it was you who had the honor of leading it.That is me and this battle.”

We are blessed to have a recording of this whole battle thanks to General Cabin.

5. Defense of Cold Front
Saturday, August 31, 2019, 5:00 p.m. EST
Led by: Commander Prior Bumble, RFCP
Rooms: Docks, Stadium, Mine Interior
Result: RFCP domination
Notes: With a 3-0 RFCP and 1 tie record pressuring them, LGA scrambled for a new avenue to victory. Since CPA leaders voted to disallow armies from prohibiting colony involvement in a war (more on that in a later From the Desk of the Commander post), LGA’s own term for this was was nullified, something that now could be used in their favor. Without alerting Prior, they convinced Pyxel of Cosmic to colonize at the last minute, naming him 2ic of LGA, and rallied Cosmic troops. Commander Prior got wind of this from outside intel and immediately raised objection in leader’s chat. Pyxel had been refusing colonization, and all the sudden agreed?

So RFCP and DKA (Duck Knight Army, renamed following their independence from RFCP) matched LGA’s move.

It was a shuffle of swapping hats, of tossing muskets to one another, and ducks flooding into the RFCP server. RFCP and DKA troops alike cheered to working together again on such short notice. Finally, the colonial war both sides had spoken of was a reality. The Defense of Cold Front was 2v2, colony fighting colony.

Tactics included RFCP “thanking” LGA for their ex-troop, Raider, and, in the Mines, imitating a Cuddle Kittens tactic by bunching up on DMT and saying “Cuddle Party!!!!” They then charged across the room to Ulti and co. after hearing them say, “I am not being cuddled.”
“YES YOU ARE GETTING CUDDLED” RFCP replied. The battle ended with a “FREE HUGS” bomb by RFCP.

Aftermath

Following the 4-0 RFCP count in the war, LGA fled the map. They transferred all remaining servers to RPF.

Commander Prior decreed in the leaders’ chat that RFCP declares victory in the Peninsula Wars. Of course, LGA refused to accept this, saying they’ll be back when they boost their numbers and blaming RFCP’s wins on a few rogue colonists who didn’t get the memo for the very first battle, the Defense of White House (and RFCP officers had asked them to leave, honoring our word).

Cena, Snork, and EGCP had RFCP’s back in the leaders’ chat regardless.

LGA announced that they would be ignoring/surrendering the remaining territories scheduled for invasion by RFCP, and Sub Zero, what Prior said would be the home of his new “island oasis,” was gobbled up without LGA resistance with RFCP wearing Hawaiian shirts and leis. Tropical music from Lilo and Stitch and the Beach Boys played in the RFCP voice chat.

Like all events in history, the victors get to name the affair. LGA had been referring to this war as the “Conquest of Imperialism.” Not only does this name not make much sense for an army that initially declared no colonies (imperialism basically means to colonize beyond your borders), but there was not much conquest. So, this rapidfire war will be known as the Peninsula Wars. RFCP indeed reached its goals of seizing the LGA land in the northeast peninsula. But so much more happened.

The Recon Federation of Club Penguin was undefeated in a war against its deepest rival. It rocketed to world power status. LGA grossly underestimated RFCP’s strength without the NVA, and thus were steamrolled by RFCP in a shock of relentless force. While stars still spin around the LGA, RFCP continues to grow and attract soldiers looking for a place to feel loved in, a place to call home, left and right. The morale and bond of the troops is tighter than ever.

The conflict ended without a treaty, without a final word, and left those involved speechless as every last trace of bright lime green vacated the map. Only dust remained hauntingly silent in its wake.

RFCP is here to stay, however, and always holds its ground.

Erat Ipso Sacra.


Battle Speech Transcripts