Archive for December, 2019

Ho! Ho! Ho! RFCP Celebrates Christmas with a Month of New Events

Thursday, December 26th, 2019

The Officers and Commander of the RFCP wishes the army and its friends the warmest and merriest Christmas at this time. It’s been quite the December! RFCP celebrated the season with a series of unique events aimed at fun, community, and holiday spirit.

It kicked off the month with an opportunity to sit on Prior Claus’ lap and recite wish lists.

Prior Claus (sometimes called Santa Bumble) reminded every person that Santa, Commander Prior, and God loves them.

Next, the army gathered in the forest to select the Christmas tree for Papa Prior to chop down. They, of course, chose the most humongous one there.

Then, RFCP performed its first ever stage production, “A Very RFCP Christmas,” sponsored by the Hallmark channel.

Invitation by Roman

One of the cast members even improvised when they accidentally put on a kiwi costume.

For those who didn’t catch the matinee, the script, authored by Prior Bumble, is below:


Act Three:

ACT FIVE—INT. The lodge. Black woman and old man have left. it’s just Brice an Claire.

END

From there, Mama Eva hosted a cookie decorating event in her kitchen, where she instructed junior bakers via MS paint, resulting in some excellent looking holiday cookies.

Roman’s

Sadly, Prior and Waffle caught a cold at around the same time, and the army demanded they be nursed back to health by Brigadier “Grandma” CC, Sidie, and Field Marshal Sha.

During this comforting event, Ice Corporal Milkman had a sensual affair with a glass of milk.

A few days later, Brigadier HamsterLover hosted a sacred and beautiful Nativity event at her igloo, where faithful RFCP volunteered to take on the roles of the Magi, Joseph and Mary, angels, farm animals, and the shepherds. Jesus was represented by an ice penguin.

A very special event was then held. Commander Prior invited RFCP’s two Jewish soldiers, Sillabye and Shiro, to light the first candle of Hanukkah with him in his igloo. Since Brigadier ThatOneNoob also attended, that made this a loving event shared between 1 Christian, 1 Muslim, and 2 Jews. What made it even more touching was that Sillabye was otherwise alone in real life at this time, and, if not for this event, the tradition that “no Jew be alone on this night” would have been broken for Sillabye.

Prior joined in the Hebrew prayer at Sillabye’s direction.

On Christmas Eve, a storytime was held. First, redeeming an order Lieutenant Waffle placed at the Bank of RFCP, Prior recounted the story of how he and Cena became friends. After then, his PC crashed, and Cena was called to fulfill the task of reading “Twas the Night Before Christmas”–the first ever story told by someone other than the Commander at storytime.

Finally, spirits were high on Christmas Day! As scheduled, Prior offered an intimate and uplifting address to the army at 3:00 p.m. It was delivered to the backdrop of radio noises in #commander-broadcast, RFCP’s rarely used read-only channel for Prior to speak to the whole army. Love was exchanged everywhere.

Memes were made using photos Prior posted of his family’s Dickens’ Christmas village…

PRIOR EVEN SPOKE TO TUMBLING ON THIS DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The army concluded with Christmas dinner, including Uncle Cena, at Prior’s igloo.

Naturally, family fights broke out.

This blog post offers one more humorous holiday tale not all are aware of: Prior wished to buy Colonel Roman an in-real-life present for Christmas, as he has her home address. He deployed both Field Marshal Pho and Admiral Sidie9’s help in figuring out what she wanted. This was the best they could scour:

And so, Prior obliged, but….

We asked Prior what he plans to do with the few moments remaining of Christmas.

“I am now going to retire…” he said–evoking gasps– “….to the creche [a home display of the Nativity manger] in the parlor,” (relieved sighs) “and finish my nightly prayers for each soldier in the army. Merry Christmas to all of you. 2020 shall be the strongest year for the Recon Federation yet.”

We at the RFCP send our love and cheer.

Erat ipso sacra. And to all a good night.

Arne’s Special Gift to RFCP

Friday, December 20th, 2019

RFCP’s dear friend, and my secretary at CPW, Arne, has written an amazing story for RFCP’s wide collection of lore. Prior loved it and hope you will too. It’s offered below exactly as composed by Arne. Thank you, Arne, for making our culture even richer! We love you.

Colonel Runeard “Sanders” Bumble

Prior Bumble was walking Arne down the hall of his igloo. Arne was hungry, so Prior decided to show him his igloo while he waited for the pizza to be done. Prior had a special family recipe that was passed down from generation to generation. Arne looked at a painting, the first of a long line.

“Who is he, Uncle Prior?” asked Arne.

“Colonel Sanders. Runeard ‘Sanders’ Bumble, the first Bumble to live on CPW island,” answered Prior Bumble, with nostalgia.

Runeard Bumble (RUNE-AHRD), also known as Colonel Sanders Bumble, is the great great great great great great great grandfather of Prior Bumble. Not a lot is known about Runeard’s childhood, but rumors say he cooked the animals and edible materials that were brought by his local community. There he may have developed the famous Piscium Recipe, with up to eleven possible spices to work with.

However, something would shake (quite literally) his life forever, and the rest of generations until today. Legend says an earthquake shattered his local community, somewhere near Ushuaia, Argentina. Runeard somehow survived by being stranded in a big iceberg and eating the fish he found on the way, until many days later, maybe even months, he found land. And a smoke trail, coming from the very same island.

Runeard swam towards the land, leaving the Iceberg as a sacred place for him. The island had berries, which he collected, alongside wheat and some plants that he turned to dust with some pressure. Afterwards he packed some in his jacket. He found where the fire came from, and sneaked up from the bushes. There were other Penguins, dancing around the fire while some drums were being banged. 

Their faces were painted, their kindness seemed almost none, wearing brown leather clothing, or something similar, they maybe even looked hungry, but Runeard was scared. His jacket was filled with sand, so he scratched his back. A little too much. Eventually he was noticed by one of the Indian looking Penguins, and the banging was interrupted. A female penguin with a horn blew through it, and then shouted: 

“¡ATRAPEN AL INTRUSO!”

Runeard was left on the run, and he grabbed some cheese while escaping. Runeard luckily found a small cave with coal, and some wood nearby. Using the coal and the wood he settled down a fireplace, and he mixed the wheat with some water from a near river, then warmed it in the fire. He took out the dusted plants and added it to the mix, trying to do the Piscium Recipe with it. While he only had berries, he tried to use them alongside the cheese, by placing it in the mix.

The mix was turned into dough, and he placed the slow cooked berries on top. He took a bite. It tasted delicious. He decided to leave it for later, and go exploring. The small cave Runeard had found was connected to a bigger cave, and there was some plain terrain nearby. There was room for more caves nearby. He returned back to the river nearby his cave, and attempted to fish with his jacket. No luck. 

Eventually Runeard Bumble saw that there was a lot of noise going back in his safe cave space. The Penguins had found his small cave, but they were more calmed now. Now they actually were celebrating. The Native Female Penguin approached him, and showed Runeard that the tribe was celebrating. She pointed out the Piscium Recipe, which was almost totally eaten. The rest of the natives pointed at him, leaving Runeard a little confused.

Eventually he figured out that they wanted some of that food he made. After being taught a little bit of their language, and teaching them proper english, he decided to start selling them the Piscium Recipe. It was too hard to pronounce for them, so he renamed it to Fish Dish, and later to Pizza. Runeard married the Native Leader, Yatzil, setting down the Bumble family tree in the new island, which would be called Club Penguin Island.

Runeard developed severe Hypothermia, so he didn’t had the blood of fighting like his successors, but he wouldn’t need to do so, luckily. Wars would come further down the line, but Runeard Bumble had a peaceful life. Runeard received a honorable role as Colonel because of his importance in our history. His nickname, Sanders, originated because he always liked to relax at the beach.

Runeard’s travel triggered the Great Bumble Migration, after they started searching for him, following the fish wastes he threw in another iceberg, surviving orca and shark until it sank, but the other bumbles would help him to build the Pizza Parlor in the cave he used to survive. They all started setting up a better Island for everyone, and the place we all know today started to take shape.

Colonel Sanders Bumble would live a peaceful life, founding the Pizza Parlor by creating the Piscium Recipe/Fish Dish and bringing the Bumble Lineage to Club Penguin Island. Runeard was a kind man, looking forward to help the community, that are known in Club Penguin Island, such as the Lighthouse, and the Pizza Parlor. Runeard “Sanders” Bumble died at age 87, because of breathing complications.

“Colonel Sanders Bumble was a accomplished man. But what happened to the Piscium Recipe?” asked Arne.

“You are going to try it right now,” answered Prior Bumble, taking the Pizza out of the oven.

An Interview with Uncle Shad

Thursday, December 19th, 2019

If you’ve been hanging around the RFCP Discord server, you’re sure to have noticed Shad. Yes, he is a busy man in the army community–the CEO of CPANN, moderator at Help Force, and, most exciting to us, Admin alongside Prior at Club Penguin Warfare–but in RFCP, he’s something much different. He’s not there to work. He’s not writing up an article. He’s just family.

RFCP, like Manhattan, has been called the “army that never sleeps.” Our diverse and happy community keeps the chats active at literally every hour, and the fact that Shad fits so comfortably in that community is a special pleasure of our culture. In fact, Prior and Shad have such respect for each other, Prior even named him Guardian of the server–temporary Admin–before he left on temporary leave in November, which was effective until Prior returned. Shad wears the light purple color of the Guardian role, but when we sat down to interview him, we began our discussion with a question about his favorite RFCP title.

1. Thanks for agreeing to be interviewed! RFCP calls you “Uncle Shad.” You even have the “Uncle” role that Cena does. What does that mean to you?

It means so much to me! When I joined the RFCP server it was to mainly get the inside scoop of all the toxicity that I kept hearing about. So I joined to do an undercover report about everything, but instead I got accepted into a true family. Truly reminds me of Shadow Troops a little bit in the early days because of how it feels to be here. I never could have imagined that I would find another family again. Being here has helped me a lot and then when I jokingly added Uncle to my name I never would have thought I would become an actual Uncle of RFCP.

2. You actually are, and we love that so much. Speaking of Shadow Troops, you’re quite the veteran. In fact, you are the only person we know of that had heard of Prior Bumble (and maybe even attended a few of the same battles) way back in 2008. What sort of perspective do army veterans have that new generation soldiers might not?

Well we have the knowledge of how we use to battle back then. Like we didn’t used to even really do joke bombs, clovers, faces, etc. A lot of that concept was founded later on. We also have our own ways of recruiting that I love to keep teaching everyone. Most just stand there with catchphrases, spamming the Army name, etc. However, back then I used to try and create a friend group and after having them I would then recruit them and since they became my friend it was much easier to persuade them in.

3. Oh we are very familiar with the learning curve Prior had to make after the first PZF battle (we outnumbered by 2, but Prior didn’t know what tactics were). You do a lot in armies now, to help improve the community across many political lines. But at some point everyone wants something for themselves. ARE there personal motives in you beyond assisting the greater good?

Honestly, there is no personal motives for me surprisingly. I have done everything that I truly wanted personally after 2016. Everything now is just for Armies themselves. I just wanna make sure that after I leave that Armies are banded back together and all united again as well as the toxicness is gone as well. I know there is no way to get rid of all of it, but at least most of it.

4. So you support the goals of the recently-defunct Great Divide server (merging all army leagues)?

I do indeed. I have been a part of many meetings in the past since March of 2019. It’s a going to be a lot of work, but I feel that after each meeting we get closer and closer. This past one was the closest we have gotten towards that goal.

5. Will CPW be treated equally in those talks under your Administration (congratulations btw!)?

Yes, as a CPW Admin I will make sure that CPW is held with the same standards as the rest. I can’t say too much about the continuation of these meetings, but I will say this. CPOAC held a meeting yesterday roughly around 4:30pm EST/1:30pm PST and I believe that the Great Divide Meeting really put some retrospect in CPOAC. There were lots of changes made as well some progress in it. With that said I do respect what CPOAC as well as what Epic has said and I hope everything works out for the best with CPOAC Respectively.

6. You’re a tireless delegate. On a lighter note, tell us: What was the most fun you’ve had with RFCP so far?

Oh boy, I would probably say getting to know all of you. From having the guys night to getting to know Phoebe everything has been great. I know Phoebe and I just had a fallout, but these were my most fun times so far and can’t wait for many more.

7. There has definitely been some funny controversy over the secret #cold-ones-with-the-boys channel in RFCP–mainly because there is no channel just for girls. Lieutenant Chad argues that RFCP main IS the girls’channel though. Settle the dispute now for us, Shad. Many are waiting to hear YOUR decisive word. #cold-ones-with-the-girls channel, or no?

If we had to make a channel it would be called #the-whiteclaw-hangout. Although I agree RFCP-after-dark/main would be the girls’ channel because they are the main ones that talk there

:Wary:

which they are currently discussing girl stuff right now in both channels as we are talking right now

8. LOL exactly. And the boys just want to crack some cold ones.

This has been an awesome interview but we just have one more question for you…

From RFCP to Uncle Shad, thanks for being part of our home.

Liftoff! RFCP Names its First “Red Baron” to Head the Air Force

Wednesday, December 18th, 2019
Badge of the Red Baron

On Saturday, December 15th, RFCP named its first ever Red Baron, head of the RFCP Air Force (EU Division). The rank is equivalent in position to General and Admiral, and the selection for this position came from Prior himself. Opino3 accepted the honor.

Formerly a Captain, Opino3 has been working tenaciously at recruiting the EU up to maxes of 8-10. Its first event on Friday, December 13, maxed 9.

The special ceremony to name the Red Baron was announced without warning and the purpose of the gathering was to remain a mystery to the attenders until the last moment. Normally, RFCP holds its sacred ceremonies either at the cove, around the fire, or on the–erat ipso sacra!–iceberg. Because of a festival on Penguin Oasis, the cove was defaced with pizza boxes and crumbs. Prior ordered RFCP to the iceberg instead.

They opened their maps, and stumbled upon….

An RPF/ACP branch war.

RFCP stood right in the middle, stunned speechless for a moment. And then, Prior said, “Soldiers of RFCP. Prepare to fight.”

We joined the battle.

A vexed Koloway slid into Commander Prior’s DMs.

Intruding an RPF/ACP battle made a few soldiers uncertain. RFCP officers, including soon-to-be Red Baron Opino, ordered them to stand firm.

An impressive max of 12 RFCP (given this event was afforded 5 minutes’ notice) offered bold and unexpected opposition to the branches.

After having its fill of the battlefield, RFCP moved to another source of fire–the lodge–and announced Opino3 as the new Red Baron. Commander Prior presided as Captain Hamsterlover sponsored Opino for the officer’s oath. She passed him the officer sword, and he gripped it with pride.

With this new appointment, all three divisions of the Recon Federation are administrated, functional, and ready for combat.

The Results Are In! Five RFCP Compete in Primary Election

Saturday, December 14th, 2019

When Brigadier Rowan Alden of the RFCP announced his desire to run for CPW Admin, he brought the toll of RFCP candidates up to five.

For some, this was vexing. For others, it seemed par for the course. CPW was founded by RFCP, and various enlisted have already taken on important jobs in securing the launch of the league. The newest and unique feature of CPW is selecting democratically elected Admins, and invitation was open for anyone to submit themselves for consideration. The #cpw-elections channel, however, remained quiet. That is because Commander Prior ordered all those interested in running (including himself) to refrain from announcing before a non-RFCP candidate had a chance to do so.

Days went by without activity. And then Camie Perhaps (AKA Jamie, former PCP and former Captain of the RFCP during the merge) announced his candidacy.

Like lightning followed Prior Bumble’s announcement. But his thunder was stolen when Sidie9 (AKA Eva), his wife, posted her own announcement minutes later without warning. Colonel SWAG PENGU1N and Major Coolj then threw in their bids for the same seat before Rowan made his motives clear as well.

That left only Shad, Kerx, and Jamie as non-purple-and-black runners. And that’s not all. Rumors abounded that the pool of RFCP candidates was even still growing–Brigadier CC_Jay and Commissar Redovyco both publicly flirted with the idea of announcing candidacy. Criticism regarding an RFCP-centric start to the league was unavoidable now, and frustrating the allies in support of the league was not in the best interest of CPW.

Commander Prior turned for discussions to Field Marshal Sha (donning her brand new rank, which came after this excellent exchange):

Together, Sha and Prior decided that, although there are no stipulations in the official CPW rules against so many from one army running, RFCP would extend to CPW a gesture of goodwill of its own volition in response to the outsider concerns. That gesture was holding a primary election. This was to be a vote of only RFCP to narrow down their candidates to one preferred nominee.

Contending against Prior Bumble for this nomination posed a monumental challenge. Prior loyalists are populous in RFCP. He was sure to capture the youth vote as well, as his name is often the first and most memorable encounter in RFCP for new soldiers.

Each candidate took a different strategy in facing off against their leader. Some, like Rowan, secured an offensive position. During the primary debates, Rowan challenged that Prior’s name came with renown, yes, but also controversy, and some might not join the league simply because of it. SWAG chimed in with agreement. “What have you to say to that?” Rowan insisted.

“I’m not in the business of appeasing everyone,” Prior replied.

When Field Marshal Sha asked a similar question, Prior said,

“I’ll be working on our league. People can love me. People can hate me. I’ll be here working.”

Coolj took a different tactic–he focused on being a unique choice offering a fun and relaxed approach to administration. Rowan questioned his membership in CANC, however, a trolling club presided over by Cena, and whether this would affect his professionalism. The debates heated up with an unlikely alliance between Swag and Rowan teaming against Prior and Coolj.

For many, Eva and Swag represented a healthy distance from RFCP with gentler and more neutral backgrounds. Rowan and Coolj represented departure from the status quo and non-HICOM viewpoints. Prior Bumble remained an almost too predictable option, but whose ferocity and steadfast leadership would be hard to rival.

The polls opened after everyone was given a chance to speak in the debates. Votes were anonymously DMed to Sha. The results were as follows:

Prior Bumble’s victory did not surprise many. Interestingly, though, he did not capture more than half the vote. We interviewed senior political analyst Larry Sabato of the University of Virginia for his comments.

“Going into this game against Bumble was an uphill battle, without doubt,” he said, “but it wasn’t impossible. Prior’s opponents increased his odds of winning merely by the fact that they ran. Splitting the Prior-alternative vote four ways prevented combining the supporters of Swag and Eva behind a single candidate. And those who didn’t support his candidacy, rather than vote for his opponent, declared their own campaigns and spent votes on themselves.”

A narrower field of opponents may have lent Prior a couple more votes too, but Sabato is convinced that unifying behind a singular alternative “would have made Bumble far from unbeatable.”

A rushed political process, divergent time zones, and moods of defeatism around challenging Prior Bumble may have hindered the campaigns of the opponents as well. While Prior had a great deal of stigma and suspicions of bias to overcome, his bid was propelled by an endorsement from Shad.

We asked Prior to comment on his victory.

“This election was no guarantee. The candidates in the primary were honorable and offered real competition of philosophy and appeal.”

We pressed him to say something more Prior-like and triumphant. He smirked and kept walking towards his office.

“What do you want me to say? For peacetime leadership like in this situation, there are strong alternatives to me. In war? It’s Prior. Hands down.”

He will go on to join Kerx, Shad, and Jamie in the general election for CPW Admin, but, unless another non-RFCP candidate enters the race, all four are currently guaranteed a seat.

The unsuccessful RFCP candidates were all awarded RFCP’s Medal of Valor, a badge given only to two others in the past: General Tumbling and Major Pho.

We asked Coolj and Rowan to comment on the elections. Coolj had no remarks. Rowan, who conceded and moved support to Prior after the results, offers his thoughts:

“It was an interesting experience. I’ve never done anything like it before, but it was something I enjoyed greatly,” he said. “Honestly anyone could have won and I’d have been celebrating because it was such a great group of candidates.”

He added after a pause,

“And the debate itself…Well…It speaks for itself.”

Indeed it did. Prior’s last message in the public debate channel was what he joked to be his new slogan:

HO! HO! HO! RFCP Raids the Templars vs. PZF Battle as Christmas Carolers

Friday, December 13th, 2019

RFCP dusted off its CPATG passwords today to raid the Templars’ invasion of Outback, owned by our friends PZF.

Some donned ugly Christmas sweaters, others their fancy Dickens’ themed Victorian suits and dresses. Commander Prior faced the choir with a conductor’s baton.

The army serenaded the battlers with “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,” “Jingle Bells,” “Hark! The Herald,” and, “Holly Jolly Christmas.” Between songs, Prior ordered E+T bombs and obnoxious ringing of hand bells.

PZF welcomed the singing, whereas the Templars fired a few derogatory tactics and slurs at RFCP.

That is, except for a certain Mr. Blazes, who, after the event, approached Prior.

“Please come back,” he said.

We love you, Blazes. RFCP hugs you hard.

We maxed 10. It felt good to get back into action again, spreading love while we’re at it.

Before logging off, Prior shouted, “ERAT IPSO SACRA.”

RFCP lives.

An Interview with Prior Bumble: A CPW Candidate Series

Tuesday, December 10th, 2019

$500 Bill Added to RFCP Treasury

Sunday, December 8th, 2019

RFCP unveiled a new bank note today: the $500 bill.

The bill came in response to demands set by the Commander–he’d offered $500 rewards for several tasks in the past two weeks (one which included a reward for editing Prior Bumble/Elp themed “All I Want For Christmas is You” music videos, a challenge which three RFCP enlisted rose to).

There is no doubt that RFCP’s trademark relationship with the wild predominates the themes of this bill. The featured figure is a Grey Polar Bear, his name written in ancient Penguin Latin glyphs. Only Commander Prior knows how to read this, and he has as of yet refused to (or has not yet been granted permission to) pass on the knowledge. Also present in the bottom left is a tiny image of Brigadier Hamster’s fallen pet hamster, Thea.

Some will recognize that the picture of the Grey Polar Bear comes directly from the wooden staff owned by Commander Prior, which was passed down to his ancestors by the bears as a symbol of leadership. There are some expectations that he will pass this staff on to the next Commander in Chief of the RFCP if and when the time comes.

The bill is purple, the first note to adopt an official color of the army. We asked Commander Prior to comment on the new addition to the treasury.

“The RFCP treasury is always growing,” he said. “This is a beautiful bill whose appearance will be sparing and met with great surprise and pleasure, I’m sure, to all who earn it.”

The Treasury remains open to the idea of adding yet more bills. Currently, there is no $10 bill at the RFCP. But Prior seemed skeptical about the idea of a larger bill.

“A thousand dollar bill seems the next logical step,” he said, “but it’s a bit of a preposterously large amount. If someone were to earn $1,000 with one bill, they probably sooner deserve a promotion at that point.”

The RFCP encourages its hardworking soldiers to start thinking about making their first purchases.

RFCP Holds Bob Ross Painting Event

Sunday, December 8th, 2019

RFCP !ai 5475’ed themselves paintbrushes and congregated at Sergeant RinRin’s igloo for a Bob Ross painting event.

After choosing an easel, everyone joined the same Kast channel and watched as Bob Ross painted a soothing winter scene.

We all used MS Paint to follow along.

Our results were stunning.

RinRin. Thank you for hosting, Rin!!!
Waffle
Prior
Milkman
Elp
CC
Roman

Even Retro (PZF), Jeremito (WN), and Cena (PCP) joined in.

Retro

We affirm that RFCP is the greatest army ever. We make happy little battles.

Erat ipso sacra.

Commodore Eugegard Bumble

Saturday, December 7th, 2019

The blog of RFCP ordains a new series today, in which the ancestors of Commander Prior Bumble, founder and first leader of the army, are featured and described.

While visiting with Prior in his igloo for a mug of coffee, Cadence (PCP) noticed a sepia photograph in a frame next to the fireplace. She picked it up.

“Ah, yes,” said Prior. He set down his mug. “Grandfather Eugegard.”

“Who was he?” Cadence said. Prior motioned her to the chair.

“Sit.”

Eugegard (YOU-je-guard) Bumble is the great great great grandfather of Prior Bumble. As a boy, he worked on the rocky northwest coast of Club Penguin Island, bottling oil that was used to light the towns, and peddling it in a satchel over his shoulder in the Plaza. Like any young Bumble, he grew up hearing stories of the Great Bumble Migration and wondering if he’d ever see the Int’ai’uto Strait described in those tales.

Unfortunately, he never would. Eugegard enlisted in the Mariner’s Navy when word broke that the Ker’vat Noot tribe, which fished in the isles just west of iceberg, had capsized a whaling vessel on New Year’s Day. The men of Club Penguin Island, peaceful before then, congregated to form the Mariner’s Navy.

The Mariners were skilled seamen, but undisciplined soldiers. It did not take long for Eugegard’s peers to realize his talent for leadership.

After the Battle of Broken Glass at Playhalo Isle on January 3, Eugegard’s ship, Blairmore, took on three native war vessels. Naturally, he was overpowered, and the Blairmore endured flooding into the hull. Eugegard ordered his men to the crow’s nest and steered the ship to the shore at a 40 degree angle as it sank. Miraculously, no one in his crew perished that day.

Accounts of the battle are subject to some variation. The original story claims that Eugegard managed to sail the Blairmore all the way back to the sacred iceberg. A more probable reality is that he sailed it from Playhalo to a safe cove at Ukahala, where reinforcements picked up the weary crew at nightfall before more Kerv’at Noot could find them.

Eugegard was unanimously promoted to Commodore of the Mariners and acquired control of the entire fleet. The war would last only five more days under his command, which saw the Mariners delivering speedy and heavily gunned naval offense. The Kerv’at Noot natives vanished without a trace.

The victory did not come without a price for Eugegard. He took a snowball to the ribs and was never strong enough again to travel long distances. Therefore, he never made the pilgrimage to the Grey Polar Bears of Int’ai’uto.

Eugegard settled down and had a family. He fell in love with the daughter of the house which would eventually open the Gift Shop on the island. However, there were rumors that he’d taken a secret lover from the Kerv’at Noot tribe and that one of his fourteen children were illegitimate. Scholars consider this rumor unfounded.

In his spare time, Eugegard enjoyed oil painting. Prior Bumble desires to one day find an heirloom of Eugegard’s paintings, but they may be lost to time. It is said he used dark colors.

Eugegard Bumble is featured on the $5 bill of RFCP.

His sparkling eyes and smile are not omitted from the currency.