Recon Federation of Club Penguin

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: RFCP celebrated its second Thanksgiving with a surprise guest.

On Thursday, RFCP gathered at a circular table around a feast of fish. The Thanksgiving dinner was held at Commissar Hamsterlover’s snow globe igloo, elegantly decorated with grandfather clocks, fireplaces, and ornate white dining chairs.

Patriarchally at the head of the table, in a special throne, sat Prior Bumble.

His presence came as a surprise to some, who cried all-caps greetings upon sight of him. All were silent then as Prior offered a prayer, in which he gave thanks, acknowledged the current sufferings in the world, and asked God for guidance in being a better, more sensitive, and move loving father-figure to the soldiers who stand by him. Following this, the soldiers shared intimate thoughts about our army, including how RFCP saved their lives from dark, painful places, and how this “beautiful family” gave them support they could not find anywhere else.

The army rejoiced in each other’s company with an incredible max of 15–a feat to note on a national holiday when most would not make time for computer hours. But RFCP is different, because on Thanksgiving, the idea of NOT getting together online as a family (even between obligations in real life) is foreign. Being a family on special occasions is what we do. We wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

The officers of the RFCP wish to remind all soldiers how thankful we are for them, and our army encourages all readers to have gratitude for the blessings of health and kin. Please be mindful of those this year who were afflicted with grief and illness. We’re all in this together.

With love,

The Recon Federation of Club Penguin

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: RFCP has a revival of the cutthroat competition, Hells’s Kitchen. See how things are heating up in the blog that will leave you asking: Where’s the lamb sauce?!

From a cooking recipe channel in the RFCP server, to the Fruit Snacks Gang, and now on to the fourth official revival of Hell’s Kitchen–food has become a bit of a staple in RFCP culture. But what exactly led to the revival of RFCP’s favorite cooking show, and how is RFCP going about hosting this fiery competition? I sat down with RFCP’s very own Gordon Ramsay, Colonel Shy Guy, to get all of the spicy details about the competition thus far.

MicroHamster (M): What exactly led to the revival of Hell’s Kitchen?

Shy Guy (S): I was into Hell’s Kitchen and was like “Why not? Let’s do another HK event.”

M: Why HK? Is there a specific reason you chose that theme?

S: Back in the day, someone else and myself came up with the idea to make it. I was into HK at the time as well.

M: What is it that you like about the show so much?

S: I’d say it’s Mr. Ramsay himself. He likes to yell a lot and that leads to a lot of good memes. I’d say if I participated in HK, it would be an honor to be yelled at by him.

M: What is your favorite Gordon Ramsay quote or moment from the show?

S: (minute 8:48-8:56)

M: How do you like portraying Chef Ramsay in the RFCP version of HK?

S: Let’s get some astrology done. He’s a Scorpio, so obviously he’ll yell at them. I, however, am very calm, but if needed I will yell.

M: How do you think the contestants are doing in this season so far?

S: They are actually doing real good; there was confusion, yes, but they are doing well.

M: Any surprises in store for us this season?

S: It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you (followed by his signature Shrek emote)

This week’s recap:

In the first “episode” of the newest season of Hell’s Kitchen, the contestants were split into two teams, Red Team and Blue Team:

The two teams were then instructed by Chef Ramsay (Colonel Shy Guy) to prepare him a dish, any dish. At the Chef’s demand, the teams raced off to serve up their best dishes to our favorite angry chef.

Chef JustinTFC prepared a delectable beef wellington, one of the more difficult dishes of the evening, but has opted out of making the dish public, as it is a top-secret family recipe passed down for generations.

At the end of the night, the contestants anxiously awaited the results of the night’s competition, but were faced with a surprise when Chef Ramsay (ShyGuy) chose not to send anyone home.

Who will be sent home next week? Stay tuned to find out as things heat up in this ruthless cooking competition!

Who do YOU think had the best dish of the evening? Leave us a comment and let us know your thoughts!

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Exactly one year ago on this day, November 16:

Prior Bumble successfully negotiated the server Northern Lights (CPATG) back into RFCP possession following its almost one-month occupation by ACP after the Tuxedo Tea Party Revolution.

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: There is an impostor among us…this time in our very own server!  It seems that the intergalactic alien lifeforms that have possessed so many innocent crewmates on the Skeld and Polus have now made their way to Club Penguin, searching for more hosts to consume.  No penguin is safe!  

Impostor fever struck the server instantaneously, when, on September 1st, the Officers in Command Room found that there was a soldier who was feigning their true identity.  The definitive blow was when the body of a soldier was found, decapitated, in #general-chat.  Suspicions grew faster than the server’s past wildfires, and fingers began to point everywhere. Soldiers desperately followed any plausible lead, hoping it would help them uncover the impostor.  Nearly every soldier was labeled “sus” (suspicious) for even the smallest abnormality in their behavior; not even the strongest alibi could be believed.  

Those unfortunate to be in the wrong place at the wrong time were voted off and sent into the abyss of space: left to spend the rest of their days as ghosts wandering the server.  

Eventually, soldiers began to turn on their own comrades, as no one truly knew who, or what, could be hiding behind the faces of their former friends.  No one could be trusted, not even those who were formally close.  

Eventually a poll was made, where the impostor would be voted out in traditional Among Us style.  

We even hosted an Among Us Game in Club Penguin, hoping it would shed some light on the current situation.

Slowly but surely, as each poll was conducted, more and more innocent officers were voted off; the impostor had RFCP wrapped around their finger!  

Finally the moment of truth: two officers remained.  How the soldiers decided to vote would determine whether the impostor would ultimately accomplish their goal of terminating the RFCP hicom, but would the right person be voted out in time?

In an overwhelming majority vote, Colonel Phantom was voted off to be the impostor!  Now, the real question remains, was he really the impostor?  Phantom was revealed to have been hiding critical footage of the impostor.  When this security footage was recovered, it shows that he was truly the impostor and the one responsible for the killings in #general-chat.  

Phantom was voted off promptly and ejected into space- with no impostors left, RFCP could finally return back to normalcy and resume its everyday operations!  

….or so we thought…

Who do YOU think is the impostor? Let us know in the comments!

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: Today we sit down to discuss a controversial topic of debate: Is Prior Bumble the 7th Grey Bear?

Our earlier post on the bloodline of Prior Bumble raised perhaps the biggest question in RFCP mythology: Is Prior Bumble a penguin descendant of the god-like Grey Bears, or is he a Grey Bear himself in penguin form? This topic has been discussed many times throughout the RFCP server, and many people have differing opinions. A short interview was done with a few soldiers to get their thoughts on the matter:

Q: Do you believe Prior Bumble is the 7th Grey Bear?

The soldiers (and officers) seem to think he is.

Now let’s break down the information we have to back the theory:

1. The Staff.  Prior Bumble visits the Grey Bears often for guidance, and upon the creation of RFCP, they gifted him with a staff; a staff that had been passed down by his ancestors. The staff is said to remind Prior of his responsibility to lead as Commander.

The mention of the staff brings us to the crux of our consideration: the shard. The question “Will you accept the 8th?” refers to the 8th Constitutional Amendment, which requires any RFCP Commander to accept a piece of the staff (a shard). If Prior Bumble is the 7th Grey Bear, does it not add up that his successor would be endowed by the 8th Amendment? 6, 7, 8.

2. Language.

Penguin Latin is a language that was passed down by the Bears to Prior Bumble, and has transformed for us to have a better understanding of the ancient dialect. Prior Bumble is the only person that knows the language fluently, and is the only person that can release new words in the language. Since Prior Bumble is not just interpreting the language, but, we assume, creating the language, is this not convincing evidence that he IS a Grey Bear? Historically, the Bears taught the Bumble penguins, who were receptacles of the knowledge, not generators of the knowledge.

3. The Leadership. Prior Bumble is a natural born leader. He is as strong as, if not stronger than, his past leader CollinZfresh. 

4. The RFCP Anthem. In the anthem, it states on the last line of the second verse,  “He’s the Great Grey Bear.”



5. Admittance?

The 5th and final piece of information we have supporting the theory is a confession from Prior Bumble himself: 

Counterarguments

Although there are many reasons as to why Prior Bumble is indeed the 7th Grey Bear, there are still questions that arise which may never be answered. Here are a few to think about:

• Prior has claimed to be “whiter than Wonderbread.” If that is true, then is Prior a Grey Bear, or simply a white man?
  
  

• Prior Bumble has been known to journey to the Grey Bears for guidance in times of trial. He has mentioned that he is currently only allowed to meet with the youngest Grey Bear; the elder ones not yet being allowed to share a presence with him. Is this because he is not a Bear, or is this because he is in fact the youngest Bear, and they follow an age-based hierarchy?

• In the history page of the website, it mentions that the youngest Grey Bear is but 804 years of age as of 2019 (now possibly 805 years). We know that there is no way a human can live to be 804 years old in this modern world, so given that information, does it seem fit that Prior Bumble is a Grey Bear? It may seem like a no, but here is a theory to think about. Prior Bumble often talks about how boomer he is: 

Given that, what if Prior Bumble physically is a penguin, but his soul is of the Grey Bears? He has the physical aspect of a penguin, but is both wise and old, which are traits of the Grey Bears (for they are known for their age and great wisdom). It also brings in the question (referring to bearz’s query at the beginning), where did the “magic” come from that allowed Prior to supposedly shapeshift from penguin to bear? The answer might be as previously stated: Prior Bumble is physically a penguin and mentally a Grey Bear. 

Is Prior really just a bear in penguin form? Or is he really a penguin with the soul that of a bear?

His answer:

The world may never know. 

Is Prior Bumble the great Grey Bear?  YOU tell us in the comments!

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