Archive for October, 2019

The Marriage of Communists: People’s Imperial Confederation and RFCP Unite

Wednesday, October 30th, 2019

PIC leader Sidie shocked and confused many when she transferred Husky (CPATG) and Frostbite (CPATG) to RFCP.

The PIC Chairwoman is ACP hicom, and the relationship between PIC and RFCP would prompt no one to suspect cooperation.

When Sidie decided to revive a communist-themed army, the People’s Republic Army (PRA), Commander Prior’s veteran home, was the first that came to mind. This sparked immediate tension, attracting Prior’s protest in the CPA general chat to a snickering and hostile audience.

ST leader Cena, ever the guardian for Prior’s weakness to trolling, jumped to Prior’s defense, and all parties left in a huff, with Cena counseling Prior in DMs to consider it just further baiting from ACP.

But later, the tables turned. Chairwoman Sidie reached out to Commander Prior in DMs and explained that the army wasn’t meant to mock him, and that, when she had learned of his objection to a remake of the PRA, she and her other hicom met to revise the brand of the army. They changed the color from red to blue, changed the hat (which Prior reveres as part of his Commander uniform for the RFCP), an changed the name, only to appease him.

Initially tentative, Prior was touched, and said RFCP would remember this respect. These small, private discussions blossomed into a true friendship. Slowly, RFCP connected with the other PIC officers, Manu and Proditor. The commonality of communist-army themes and warm personalities was a surefire match.

Prior announced to the formerly revolutionary leaders that PIC would be under RFCP protection as it rises. EGCP, which had just held a “commie hunting” training event, had been a concern for PIC.

Prior formally asked EGCP to withdraw any plans of attack on PIC, and EGCP cordially agreed.

Now, plans have been set for a seasonal tournament tradition to begin between the two fast friends. Once every three months, RFCP and PIC will compete in a 3-day tournament, best 3 out of 5 practice battles. PIC will perform as themselves, an RFCP will reenact as the PRA. The prize will be that season’s “Glippy Cup,” named after Glippy105, Prior Bumble’s former comrade in the People’s Republic Army in 2008.

The first tournament is scheduled to kick off on Friday, November 8.

A special opening ceremony to formally unite the two armies, especially Prior and Sidie themselves, will be held that eve, Thursday, November 7.

HISTORIC! RFCP CLAIMS MOST POPULATED SERVER, BLIZZARD (CPR)

Tuesday, October 29th, 2019

On October 29th, 2019, the RFCP maxed 11 in an EU invasion of Blizzard (CPR), the most famous and populated server in Club Penguin. Soldiers struggled to log on due to its fullness, exciting the troops even further.

The capture was the realization of Prior Bumble’s dream since early June when the army was founded.

“To take the most renowned server in the name of RFCP is one of the defining achievements of my career,” said Commander Prior moments after the battle. “I am so proud of our soldiers.”

The server has been named temporary capital until Northern Lights is reclaimed. It is the fourth server to hold the honor of being an RFCP capital.

The War of No Return, and the Revolution That Followed

Monday, October 28th, 2019

Perhaps the most exhausting armed conflict in CPA history, RFCP and ACP engaged in total war, and the CPA community would never be the same.

From Monday, October 14th, to Sunday, October 20th, the two armies met in battle a staggering fifteen times in only six days. The clouds of gun smoke nearly blinded the #schedule-invasions channel on Discord.

Of those fifteen battles, Commander Prior led eleven of them, with the other events being headed by General Tumbling, Colonel Der, Major Roman, and Lieutenant Noob. The final score was 10-3-2 [ACP, TIE, RFCP], although the RFCP remains enraged at the score not being 10-1-4, as, in two of those ties, RFCP outnumbered ACP by an average of two soldiers. Unrelentingly, ACP not once conceded to a loss, whereas RFCP conceded gracefully several times when the numbers were obvious. This hardheadedness in the battle room contributed to unwavering tension between the hicoms of either army.

One of those ties was the RFCP’s maiden attempt to sack ACP capital, Breeze. The RFCP victory could not have been clearer to Commander Prior and to other observing leaders like Cena and Hidcre, with an RFCP max of 29 to ACP’s teetering 28. The eventual admin ruling of a tie devastated Prior, who shut away Discord and barked that RFCP would max 30 at their defense of White House the next evening.

Attempted Sack of Breeze

Led by: Commander Prior

Rooms: Mine Interior, Docks, Berg

During this battle, RFCP debuted its new upward arrow formation in the mine interior.

Upon the fateful decision of a tie, Prior said, “I am speechless by that ruling. Have a good night.” This was quick to be echoed in copypasta by all of ACP/its allies and a few of the admins, and remains a meme.

When it came time for the Defense of White House, nerves could be felt with a magnetometer. The 30 penguins Prior demanded were yet to be seen.

Grueling warfare at the Docks, Iceberg, and Stadium commenced nonetheless, watched by the world.

At the Docks, Prior received criticism for his tactic, “YOU ARE THE CANCER, WE ARE THE CHEMO,” to which he never caved.

“Would ‘You’re the disease, we’re the cure’ have been better?” Prior retorted. “Learn metaphors.”

The remarks were especially hollow to Prior since his grandmother perished from cancer in January. “It’s creative language,” he said. This indeed was countered with rogue acts of vulgarity from ACP, a little less artistic.

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After a tireless 30 minutes of fighting, an RFCP victory was secured at last, to deafening shouts of glory.

A few soldiers were endeared by their Commander’s rather uncharacteristic loss of togetherness.

Major Kailey sweetened RFCP’s victory with an incredible discovery.

For the first time ever, RFCP maxed 30.

In the middle of the war, some attempts at courtesy were extended by either side, namely between Koloway, then-ACP-4ic, and Prior.

Prior even released the tactic to Koloway, and to the world, “Er feut dre ulm,” which is Penguin Latin for, “I love you.”

Sadly, the wobbly attempts at amiability did not hold.

Other tactics that defined the themes of this war invoked the names of old army legends. “WHERE IS PAPA OAGALTHORP?” RFCP chanted outside the dojo at a later battle. “WHERE IS PAPA COLLINZFRESH?” ACP replied. RFCP could not resist making jokes about McHappy, such as, “DO WE GET A TOY WITH OUR MCHAPPY MEAL?” Meanwhile, ACP adhered to a pattern of clover bombing every room, which grew tiresome to their opponents, and came across to many as pretentious and lazy. Prior annoyed ACP hicom with a strategic use of “big word” tactics, or tactics that fill up much of the screen and cover the enemy. Chainpro had a few tricks up his sleeve as well, startling Prior at the crow’s nest when he released the tactic, “HAVE YOU SEEN ZOOTOPIA?”, which refers to a very sensitive inside pun known only to RFCP’s inner circle, of which Chainpro was once a part of. Prior replied:

Throughout the war, RFCP accused ACP of inactive troops and potential multilogging, as stragglers were common:

Some other significant photos of the war:

A handful of the ACP victories were snagged by both AUSIA (7 a.m. EST) and EU (2 p.m. EST) battles, which RFCP could not challenge, being a strongly American army. RFCP held true to its creed to never no-show a battle, though, resulting in slim showings and Lt. Noob leading a true battle for the first time. Some controversy in this vein arose during the Sunday morning battle on October 20th. For this battle, then-Sergeant Coolj lingered in the RFCP server to represent the army’s honor, but ACP never posted battle rooms. Coolj, being banned from the CPA chat for copypasta’ing in the wrong channel, had no means to question this, and thus assumed the battle wasn’t happening. ACP, however, showed and performed, slinging accusations that RFCP failed to show and defend its age-old pride.

“The battle was not valid,” said Prior. “Sergeant Coolj was screenshotted active in RFCP server 10 minutes before the battle. We did not no-show, and our record is unbroken.”

A vote was presented to the CPA leaders as to whether this battle was valid or not since ACP never posted rooms. The results would prove to be unnecessary.

Enter RPF’s involvement in the War of No Return.

When Chainpro was still attached to the RFCP, he designed a map of battle plans for a war EGCP and RFCP were considering against RPF, codenamed “Pewter Hopscotch.”

This, The War of Two Brothers, was conceived in September, when map activity was at an all-time low. Prior had always longed for EGCP and RFCP to conduct a mission just the two of them, and RPF had recently swept away all of EGCP’s territory. But EGCP’s numbers were struggling. They could not fully commit to the war unless the hype of the plans encouraged more interest from their recruits.

“The plan all along,” said Prior, “was to contact Ulit once EGCP confirmed their ability to partake in the war. We’d have set fun, competitive, and friendly terms. To assume that I would have sprung this on RPF is to assume my complete stupidity. Why would I not set terms beforehand with an entity like RPF?”

EGCP ended up backing out of the war, and the plans fizzled. Chainpro nevertheless had this map in his arsenal, and he leaked it to RPF to evoke their involvement in war against RFCP.

Prior successfully explained the true nature of the imagined war, leading RPF to reconsider, but they had an advantage now.

RPF’s attempted moderation of a foreign war raised some eyebrows, but the main problem here was ACP’s policy of dual-enlistment, which essentially would allow them any ally to participate in battle, if that ally merely said, “Yes, I am also an ACP soldier.” RFCP is against dual-enlisting; it believes in your whole heart, or nothing. Chainpro, in a patronizing and arrogant seven-paragraph reply to Prior’s appeal, said, “That’s how it works.”

By this time, anger began to stew not only among the RFCP ranks.

Cena of Shock Troops and felix and Edu of EGCP got wind of RPF’s war declaration and fists were slammed. The parties conspired to stage a raid of the next RFCP-ACP battle, this time with ST in UMA uniform and EGCP in Nachos uniform, two of ACP’s historic nemeses.

The raid was chaotic, unfiltered, crude, and, to many, hilarious. Prior, who supplied Col. Der with a script for the tactics, watched from Puffin.

Cena chanted “EHUMA EHUMA EHUMA EHUMA” while Prior, felix, and Edu rolled in their group chat. EHUMA was a failed army attempted by Dillon, ACP General and frequent antagonist of RFCP members in #chat-en.

EGCP crossed a line at the Docks, chanting the N-word, for which they later apologized, claiming that it does not hold the same weight in Brazil as it does in the U.S. Prior and Cena renounced its usage. Both RFCP and ST tactics were confirmed clean overall by DMT.

However, because Prior and the soldiers still reveled in the raid after it was done, RPF stated that it would resume its war on RFCP, even though Chain admitted to laughing at the raid as well.

At this, the seed of revolution began.

RFCP, ST, WH, EGCP, and PZF planned a mass protest event, a 5 Way Battle, later dubbed the Tuxedo Tea Party.

The event took place, without permission, on RPF’s capital, Tuxedo. Following ironic RPF chants of “WHEN DARKNESS FALLS…” and “FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT….” all armies did, “WE’RE OUT.” They reported immediately to the #battle-room and posted, “GG. RPF Victory” and then mass transferred all servers to RPF. The exit added advantageous irony to the name “The War of No Return.” The Revolution had begun.

The Revolution flag, designed by felix and Prior, represented how the map would be pointlessly locked up in green and black for ACP/LGA and RPF without them, and how RPF and those who happen to be its allies will always win if they want to.

Wild Ninjas and Coffee Force joined the protest shortly after.

For one week, the revolutionary armies boycotted the Top Ten and CPA chats. The product was a slew of new “incestuous” armies, as Prior called them: armies formed by ACP officers, while those officers remain in ACP. Examples of these are: People’s Imperial Confederation (PIC) led by Side, Sled Gang led by Cotopaxi64, and the soon to be returning Romans led by Smurf. DMT made an army as well. Even with this effort, the Top Ten that week was really the Top Nine, with no infant army filling that last slot.

Negotiations were stalled and dragged for a week’s time, but an agreement was finally reached after much revision on the evening of October 27th.

“RPF leaders were very respectable,” said Prior. “The strike was not for nothing. Protest is a beautiful right of the free world, and our actions produced fruits that we believe will benefit the whole community. Thanks to my brave soldiers who hung in there with us.”

The terms agreed to are as follows:

Like a racehorse in the stall, Prior scheduled the first invasions of former RPF territory the second Ulti pressed send. It included beloved RFCP territories, Mopia-gifted Marshmallow (CPR) and first-server-ever Beanie (CPR), but also….

The most populous and famous server in Club Penguin history.

“It’s been a dream of mine,” said Commander Prior, “since the first week of our founding. I tremble with the realization of that dream upon me.”

As for RFCP’s cherished capital, Northern Lights, ACP has refused diplomacy or server trading for it, but Prior remains firm that its possession is the army’s #1 priority.

“I will never step down from RFCP command,” said Prior, “without Northern Lights shining as our capital once more.”

RFCP Declares War on the Army of Club Penguin

Sunday, October 13th, 2019

On September 29, 2019, ex-General Chainpro of the RFCP abandoned his post. After weeks of premeditation, he reformed the first army in Club Penguin existence, the Army of Club Penguin.

This project was spearheaded by an ACP legend and former leader, McHappy. It attracted immediate interest from a wide variety of veterans and formerly inactive CPA members, largely due to its name recognition.

The history of ACP predates this modern league. It was formed on September 29 (notice the same date), 2006. Its founder was Oagalthorp, the most legendary figure in CPA history. It was he who pioneered the idea of armies in Club Penguin. He is the George Washington of our community, more than a decade ago.

The army was influential in every way. During Prior Bumble’s service in the PRA, he fought next to Oagalthorp and met him on the battlefield. Below is a transcript of Oagalthorp’s historic retirement speech:

My name is Michael, as some of you may already know. If you’ve read the ACP Saga, you’ll know that the ACP was founded September 29, 2006. Tell your grandkids about that date because it was the beginning of an era. We were giants and Club Penguin was our stomping grounds. From Mammoth to Breeze, from the dojo to the snow forts, we were a force. At our best we were the best, and we did it with pride and class. We were the pinnacle.

As memory of Club Penguin recedes, the digital fossils of this community—the Army of Club Penguin specifically and the army community it birthed generally—will drift away in a sea of ambient data. Yet it will always be here. This website and all of the times had within it—good and bad, funny and frustrating, elating and surreal—will remain, frozen in time, waiting for some internet anthropologist to one day find it and think “Damn, wasn’t that something.” I don’t know if there’s any significance in that.

Ok, enough of that waxing poetic bulls**t. Bottom line, this was a good thing and I’m glad it happened. We were all part of it, and it wouldn’t be what it was without you.

-Oagalthop
Until later,
March on

Now, however, ACP returns, wearing the same banner and hijacking the same website. The public relations move was effective.

During the infant weeks of ACP’s return to Club Penguin Armies under the leadership of Chainpro and McHappy, RFCP watched closely. Immediately, the two armies got off to a rocky start. Combine Chainpro’s departure from RFCP, a few accusations of troopstealing from either side, ACP’s aligning with LGA (there were rumors of a “Green Alliance”), and the fact that ACP events have been buffeting RFCP off its consistently 2nd or even 3rd place spot in the Top Ten, and conflict felt inevitable.

Despite successful, high-maxing events, ACP remained server-less for weeks.

No matter how tense the two armies’ relations got, battle seemed illogical. If RFCP were to declare, the war would be 100% defensive. ACP, on the other hand, was not allowed to declare without land.

ACP’s hunger for servers was inevitable. And its options were limited. RPF and LGA are their allies. Cena’s new army, Shock Troops, did not yet inherit its servers back from RFCP protection. The options remaining were Winged Hussars and RFCP.

Then, some diligent observers on the CPA Discord noticed “Chainpro is typing…” in #schedule-invasions.

Shortly after, the channel went silent, and instead, this popped up:

The iron seemed hot. In a pressure-cooked moment, without counsel from RFCP hicom, Commander Prior knew he had a decision: declare war on ACP, or be declared on.

He made his choice.

The move caused shock waves. Many were surprised, knowing the affectionate history of Chainpro and Prior Bumble. Others took it as unwarranted aggression. Prior’s DM’s filled with some vagrant ACP troops calling him names and puffing their chests. At RFCP’s evening recruitment, three angered ACP raided and attempted to steal the interested users RFCP invited to the EPF room. Chainpro, sitting in Prior’s EPF seat, was promptly sat upon by Prior.

But who, you may ask, is Lord Pain, whose name was invoked in Prior’s declaration?

Just as Oagalthorp claims a mythological place in army history, Lord Pain takes the throne on the other end of the table. He led the campaign against ACP known as the Pain Wars. Originally, he had sworn to leave retirement to crush Chainpro’s ACP, but the intensity of his emotions cooled enough to keep him only a devoted mentor to the new generation leaders.

Upon hearing of RFCP’s intended declaration, Lord Pain offered his blessing.

ACP members close to Prior, such as Hexxer and Koloway, harbored troubled feelings while the rest of CPA beeped their microwave buttons and shoved in popcorn bags. Club Penguin Armies News Network (CPANN), emceed by the appropriately named Emcee (RPF), discussed the events deep into the night. Even LGA leader, hippieFRESH, had warm regards.

The direct answer to the burning question some people still are unclear on is this:

Why did RFCP declare war on ACP?

“The logical reasons remain,” said Commander Prior. “RFCP silence to ACP is suicide of our Top Ten position. Our army disapproves of ACP’s alignment with LGA. It is aware of the inevitability of our armies’ conflict, seizing the opportunity to make the bold first move. And of course, there is still some soreness to ex-General Chainpro departing from our high command. However…”

The next part, the greatest:

“RFCP knows the impact of this move politically. We are ready to go down in history as the army that put down ACP in the modern age. The army that prevented ACP’s return to glory. Therefore, we name this war…”

The War of No Return

See you on the battlefield.

The Retirement of Kerx

Saturday, October 12th, 2019

The Wild Ninjas is the army that stands alone. While friends with EGCP, they hold firm against joining the New Viking Alliance. While cooperators with LGA, they are uncommitted to taking a seat on the lime green side of the curtain that separates RPF/LGA and RFCP/NVA/ST (formerly DKA, more on that later).

It is easy to see why many armies nonetheless enjoy casual relationships with the Ninjas. EGCP and WN share the burden of being a foreign-language army (WN speaks Spanish, EGCP, Portuguese). LGA enjoys a rapport of practice battles other armies are too hesitant to request. As for RFCP, Prior cannot help but harbor jovial fondness for the leaders of the Wild Ninjas, with whom he trades “Nice event! :clap: :clap: @Jeremito” incessantly.

But as weeks go by without conflict on the map, the wood of well-built bridges grows brittle. Planks of friendship are a little more eager to crack. Such was the case when, on September 26th, WN leader-in-training, Yyeellooww7, made the wrong comment at the wrong time, in earshot of Commander Prior.

At the time, #chat-en was rampant with criticism for the way RFCP responds to deserters. The accusation stood that we shun and villainize those who leave.

“Allow me to state this publicly,” said Prior. “I have received dozens of PMs in my inbox since our June founding of soldiers alerting me they are leaving the army. My reply is peaceful and amiable. Our critics take three extremely volatile and public cases (all which involved the deserter brutally bashing our name and character) to base their claims from.”

Further, of those who leave in a reactionary, emotional response, 90% return to the army. RFCP is a good place, and the attraction people feel to it is not coincidental.

However, this did not occur to Old Yellow when he sent this message regarding soldiers leaving the RFCP:

And Prior chuckled.

Admittedly with a smirk and flex of his saber, Prior posted this:

Jeremito and Kerx heard the news shortly after. Kerx, being the skilled diplomat he is, apologized in Prior’s DMs, and Prior told him it was no matter RFCP took personally. The fight, however, would endure.

When RFCP showed to the invasion of WN’s last CPATG server, Alpine, with a max of 17, it did not realize just how heavy the stakes were for the Ninjas.

The results of the battle favored RFCP. While the Ninjas managed to meet our max for a fraction of a room, RFCP held steady, and interestingly demonstrated an 8-minute nonstop rake in room 3, the crowded Dojo Exterior. When things were looking dim for WN during the post-battle debate, Yyeellooww7 revealed a shocking detail.

Jeremito and Kerx, angered that Yellow provoked RFCP to arms, made a strong decision to stake Yellow’s leadership over the results of the battle. When the admins ruled an RFCP victory, Prior urged WN to reconsider this ultimatum. “Too late,” Yellow replied. “I’m being demoted.”

So Prior said, “Wait.”

His next message, composed amid the ignorant cheers in the RFCP server, was posted in #server-transfers:

This decision was made executively, without consultation of the officers or army. In the command room, some push back was pressed upon Prior, who replied,

“I am going to make decisions I think are right, and if [soldiers] want to leave, they leave.”

Kerx, while appreciative, was troubled by this gesture, however. He believed we won fairly, and the demotion of Yellow should stand. Instead, to the shock of many, Kerx announced he would retire instead. Friends flocked to attempt to coax him out of the decision, but his mind from that moment was set.

In a letter to his own army, Kerx explained that the loss to RFCP was not the reason for his departure, but rather a myriad of internal WN conflicts. He left a touching final word.

Translated:

I want to thank CPA for leaving me many lessons. To Cena (DKA leader), who, although we have had conflicts before, is a cool person. To LGA leaders for being people who never give up (that left me a lesson). To DMT and the other CPA admins. To EGCP, which is a great army with great people. To RFCP, and, above all, to its leader, Prior, who for me is the best CPA leader because he cares too much for his troops and for other people. My respects to Prior Bumble. Finally, I thank everyone who left their positive message in the CPA chat.

Kerx

Kerx stated too that his dream was to be a Wild Ninja Legend, and, after three years, the dream had not come to pass at the hands of the Wild Ninja Supreme Leader. Prior organized a petition to make this happen, and received 27 signatures across CPA.

Discussions are still being had between Prior and Jeremito regarding this matter.

“Kerx is a dear friend, whom I love deeply,” said Prior. “I hope our paths cross again soon.”

With the retirement of a major army leader, many pause to reflect on their own CPA mortality. But what is the nature of “retirement” in this community?

“Unfortunately,” said Prior, “many here wield the word ‘retire’ as a weapon. It is often an emotional threat used to bargain for desired change.”

Prior went on to explain that he frequently finds DMs that begin with, “Hi Prior. I might retire. [Insert complaint about RFCP]…..” that demand his swift ministering.

The nature of CPA retirement usually comes with bitter flavors. Often they are categorized by a response to defeat, disenchantment, or even heartbreak. In some ways, this is to be expected. CPA is a hotpot of many personalities, interests, and tone-deaf online communication that easily boil into emotional catastrophe. Turnover rate is high. It is also deeply unique, and that is perhaps why the retirement of a comrade invariably hits so hard. Truly, one thinks, who can replace you? No one. We operate in a bizarre, wildly singular egregore which only a handful of mankind will experience. Who but us understands the meaning of “E+5”? Who but us know the name Oagalthorp?

Although inevitable, Prior intends for his eventual retirement to be different.

“This may be bittersweet to some,” he said, “but my retirement letter has already been written, stored away in my laptop. I have no intention of using it, but it exists.”

He continued, however, with an encouraging promise.

“When my leader [CollinZfresh] retired, he said it would be ‘the day no one knew,’ and I always intended to go the same way. I will not retire as a reaction to disaster. You may look to me as the captain firmly at the helm of a storm. So this need never be a concern.”

He said, “When I retire, it will be on my terms. On terms of prosperity.”

For just as gothic literature and romantic opera glorify death, so too does this underground community have an alluring relationship with the finality and mystery of retirement. The man, or leader, that once was commits suicide of their power, and becomes no more in an always-impacting event. The rapid tides of CPA politics wash over him and move on.

“The path to legacy and immortality,” said Prior, “only begins when you step away.”

Why do these families need to experience loss, though? Maybe the culture of retirement in CPA can change.

More and more we are seeing old veterans return to the scene, as advisers and mentors. Prior himself retired once before…and returned ten years later, something DMT says is, “….unprecedented. No one has ever come back from such a long absence.”

We hope, maybe selfishly, that Kerx’s path becomes unprecedented with his eventual return, too.

An Interview with Corporal Raider

Tuesday, October 8th, 2019

Raider’s story in RFCP is a unique one, and the blog sat down with him to get the straight account.

What we do know about the infamous Raider is his fantastic contributions to the army with his artwork:

Raider is also one of the most RFCP-patriotic and passionate soldiers to date. Upon his recent promotion, he said:

And his story, in his own words:

RFCP is what Raider considers his “true” first army, and hopefully [his] only. Raider first joined RFCP around the army’s early days, but left very early because he did not know how armies worked and didn’t want to be in that community. Weeks later, Raider saw an LGA recruiter and said he was interested; he rose to the rank of Major in the army, but near the end of The Peninsula Wars, he had lost faith in LGA and decided RFCP would make him feel hopeful. Raider had a decent relationship with Prior and some officers. Thankfully, Prior welcomed him to RFCP. He served in the remainder of the Peninsula Wars until some drama was raised where Raider had insulted Prior and was banished. He was angry but, was also very sad. He knew he was wrong, but also knew he would be even worse if he didn’t apologize. Raider did so, and thanks to Prior’s massive heart, was welcomed back. Raider has not had a serious outburst since.

Most recently, Prior accepted Raider’s request to become apprentice of the Commander. That is to say, Raider wishes to learn how to be a CPA leader and sought private lessons and knowledge from his Commander. However, he swore to never use the mentoring Prior gives him to defect and form a new army while Prior is still active.

Let’s hear what Corporal Raider has to say in response to our questions about life in RFCP and on “the other side.”

Q: Let’s not beat around the bush. You jumped ship from RFCP’s biggest nemesis, LGA, and joined the army. Why?

A: LGA was suffering defeat after defeat, so I left them and joined RFCP. [They] may look at me as a coward for that, but I am a coward no longer.

Q: Is there anything that LGA and RFCP have in common that would surprise our readers?

A: Uhhhh, we both have hot girls… and sunglasses… that’s ’bout it…

Q: What was the biggest culture change from LGA to RFCP?

A: RFCP is more militaristic and serious; I feel like apart of an actual army here, and that’s just the way I like it.

Q: Recently, you became Prior’s apprentice. What is this and what does it mean to you?

A: It is a HUGE honor to learn under him. I feel like I will be passing off a legacy that was long dead for over a decade, all the way back to the PRA and CollinZfresh. I have already learned so much from him and I can’t wait to learn more.

Q: What are your special skills that you contribute to the RFCP family?

A: Well, I’m likable, kinda, but I do carry out orders (usually) and do it very well; I also think I am very fast with executing tactics.

Q: Tell us about how you share Commander Prior’s love of history.

A: History is what made the world what it is today, and it should teach us mistakes. I usually like to learn about the 19th century and the Spanish conquest of the New World.

Q: How do you think Prior’s love of history impacts the atmosphere of RFCP?

A: His knowledge of history and military history helps him make the army better, by knowing how a true army should act.

Q: What is your favorite color?

A: Fucking hell, I don’t know. Blue, red, orange, those three, but pretty much aqua blue.

Q: What has RFCP taught you?

A: RFCP has taught me how to be more of a people person, and a leader. It taught me I could be important.

Q: Anything else you wish to say?

RFCP is about equality, pretty much. Sic semper tyrannis. (Motto of Virginia: Thus always to tyrants)

RFCP Command Room Gains Outside Hire

Thursday, October 3rd, 2019

RFCP pushes forward into a new era following the last officially declared historic period, the Dark Age. This depression saw the officers of the RFCP halved from 8 to 4, bitter departures, and hindered morale (read more about The Dark Age under the RFCP History tab). However, the army has turned a corner this evening as it looks to progress into its next phase, which Prior Bumble calls Reconstruction.

“The era must provide remedies to our past injury,” said Commander Prior, “ushering in creative and groundbreaking advancements as did the RFCP Renaissance.”

The RFCP Renaissance of July 2019 saw the composition of the Constitution, Col. Boi’s memorial, and the Feddie Awards. Many believe it solidified the identity of the army after the ally-heavy feud known as the War of Smoke and Sour.

Now, only a few lumbering steps past the Dark Age, RFCP high command set their goals on pursuing army projects of a monumental nature that would positively define the new era.

“Reconstruction,” said Prior, “will be an era of productivity and innovation. It is the regathering of the best the army has to offer, and the process of rebounding stronger and more plentiful than before.”

While projects and directions similar to the Constitution were still being discussed, the actual first sentence of the new era came as a shock.

That first sentence was SWAG PENGU1N.

Devout readers of the RFCP blog may be familiar with the name. Before RFCP was an official army, it met and operated with SWAG PENGU1N, CEO of Omega Security, a company on CPR dedicated to intelligence gathering across all Club Penguin CPPSes. To the hardened army veteran, such an organization may seem irrelevant or even falsified. But they would be wrong.

Ever since temporarily partnering with pre-CPA RFCP, SWAG PENGU1N and his accomplice, Little Bird, have kept a pulse on the army. Astoundingly, Little Bird showed up to the funeral of Col. Boi without being told by Prior or anyone in the army of what had happened, or even the time of the event. Further, on CPR, SWAG PENGU1N was aware of the Peninsula Wars and congratulated Prior on his victory the day it happened. Likewise, he expressed sympathies for the “open letter” the day after it was posted, always to a mystified Commander Prior.

Clearly, eyes are on the inside. But those eyes have been benevolent and curious, like martians studying a foreign race they wish to learn of, but not harm.

Little Bird is not a stranger to Prior’s PM’s, and recently, he arrived in the #general-chat, where Prior demanded complete silence from all other typers as they engaged in dialogue. For months, Little Bird and Prior have hesitantly discussed ideas, current events, and SWAG’s potential enlistment. “Fly on, Little Bird,” Prior would say. Almost always, Little Bird’s flight pattern indeed landed him curiously in the RFCP Discord just when major things were occurring, such as during the massive debate in the army over Kailey310’s return.

Some examples of the conversations between Prior and Little Bird below.

In many ways, Omega Security is part of the unusually deep lore of RFCP and its pre-war roots.

The company, while poorly understood even by Prior, is clearly a significant force, and SWAG PENGU1N has acted as its popular frontman.

After five months of discussions, several long meetings in Prior’s office, and cautious but admiring nods at one another, SWAG PENGU1N accepted Prior’s offer to enlist in the RFCP as an officer.

“Part of the solution to the internal conflicts of RFCP, I knew, was an outside hire,” Prior said. “The army needed to be revived with talent completely external of its former affairs. I have been interviewing veterans in search of a new, strong face to fill the vacancy of our command room. But SWAG PENGU1N always has been in the back of my mind.”

On October 2, 2019, at Swag’s request to avoid fanfare, he was sworn into the army in Prior’s office and, later, as Colonel on the RFCP Discord to raucous shock and applause from the soldiers who know him well.

Col. Swag has sworn no ulterior motive (for Omega or otherwise) to serving in RFCP, and considers it “a noble second job.” Col. Swag said, “I want to help rebuild.”

Per the agreement between the Commander and the new Colonel, the rank of General will not be offered unless Col. Swag can commit 100% of his efforts and game time to RFCP. Little Bird and Omega Security watch on, seemingly without much opinion either way.

One thing now is for certain: RFCP morale is booming, the chats are buzzing without tension, and excitement abounds for Col. Swag raising the RFCP officer count back to five.


RFCP wishes dear friend, Cena, a happy birthday. On this same day, it wishes Pookie of RPF, the blog’s #1 fan, a blessed birthday as well.