The Recon Federation of Club Penguin is an official Club Penguin Army founded by Prior Bumble, a CPA Legend and original army veteran from 2008. We are one of the strongest and most renowned armies of the modern era. Join us today!Â
The only thing more shocking than a new RFCP website is the fact that Commander Prior did it all by himself.
Yes. RFCP soldiers call their Papa Prior a bit of a boomer. Notoriously, technology like Discord bots, cpps coding, and, you know, basic email are not his strengths. So how did a whole new website come out of his laptop?
“Let me be honest with you,” said Prior. “Ninety percent of this is me calling WordPress customer service twice a day to have them walk me through things.”
“And it doesn’t stop there. I even got into a fight with one of them about technology being too new.”
But there was logic behind Prior’s affiliation for “older” WordPress themes. His goal was to make RFCP’s website resemble those of armies from the OG days of warfare. The exact theme he wanted to remodel the website with, though, turned out to be retired.
“I wanted Digg 3 theme. That’s the theme all the classic 2007, 2008, etc. armies used, including the website of the PRA.”
The next closest theme still available was the one he chose, Default. But it didn’t end there.
From then on, with the help of YouTube tutorials, Google, and the customer service reps who quickly associated him with a cranky old man, Prior used CSS coding to customize the site’s background and header. He even added the news ticker plug-in himself. This wasn’t free, of course–everything you see here is due to an upgrade Prior paid for. He’d been looking at doing the remodel for a while, but found the plan too expensive. Then there was a 20% off sale.
“I just hope that everyone likes it,” said Prior. “The blog is really the heart of the army. They love the blog.”
With a whole lotta new website to love, the army celebrates other “firsts” in RFCP. Last week, RFCP held its first ever U-Lead event, which allowed soldiers of any rank to lead a training for five minutes at a time. Although U-Leads are common among today’s armies, traditionally RFCP hicom, mainly Prior, keep the leading reins close to the chest. This event was a surprise for the Recon Federation. Soldiers stepping up to lead included Sgt. Microwaveable Hamster, Ice Corporal XxDevinxX, and Captain Pixie.
Other offbeat events lately included a scavenger hunt, Scribblio, Hell’s Kitchen, a coronavirus task force meeting, prom night (in honor of high school seniors who won’t get to have one now), Pi Day Party, and even, uh, a raid of Prior’s fridge (no photo provided; it was too traumatic).
What’s to come in the future? Who knows with this army. But Prior did have one prediction.
“Remember that power outage RFCP had a week or so ago? I think we’ll definitely see a baby boom…”
And with the maxes RFCP’s been witnessing lately, his prediction doesn’t sound too far off indeed.
In the war room discussions after the HF/RFCP battle, Ayan forced his army into defeat as he made a comment which broke the terms set before the battle.
We also had an historic turn out of 47 soldiers, breaking our previous max record of 36.
The conflict originally began on CPATG, Klondike, but the massive user turnout caused Super’s CPPS to chug hardcore. The battle was then restarted and moved to CPR, Permafrost, during their April Fool’s party. RFCP soldiers stood ready, maps open, to storm the first room.
RFCP will also go down in time as probably the only soldiers in army history ever to fight in this room:
We here at RFCP are very concerned, and we want you to know your enemy. RFCP blog met with top army analysts to discuss the disturbing nature of Help Force and why YOU should be aware.
E+W on 3. 1111 2222 3333
And Help Force leaders constantly ask their soldiers to break rules.
Thankfully, some people are trying to unite with social media hashtags against monstrosities.
One of the authors of one of the open letters Help Force posted is VERY sick himself–he is a minor who DEMANDED to be added to our 18+ chat, and freaked out when we refused. How can a sicko like that write articles defaming us?
Then, Help Force made fun of viruses, one of which is killing many people in the world right now.
There you have it. Soldiers of Help Force, ask yourselves: Are you being used? Are you just a number in someone else’s game? Do your leaders ACTUALLY care about you? Are they ACTUALLY giving you accurate information?
In all seriousness, they are not. Do not believe everything you read on the Internet. For the truth about RFCP, talk to a current RFCP. Do not be brainwashed.
We are a loving, supportive, fair, safe, and fun community that cares about the individual.
You’re just one more number Help Force uses to get stamps. Do your leaders know your favorite flower? Your favorite color?
Don’t be just a number forever, being led to believe what they want you to believe.
And soldiers are opening their wallets in hopes to be the first ever recipients of them. Today, the Treasury added two new bank notes, a $10 and a $1,000, to its repertoire of $500, $100, $50, $20, $5, $1, and –$10 (for fining). A fun contest was set in place to welcome the new currency.
Guesses ranged from Waffle to Dab0n to Der. Now, without further ado, EXCLUSIVE to RFCP blog, we reveal them!
And dang! What beauties. Our correspondents sat down with the designer of the bills, Commander Prior Bumble, to talk about what makes them unique.
BLOG: Thanks for your time, Mr. Bumble.
PRIOR: Oh, don’t be so formal. You can call me sir.
BLOG: [laughs] Uh huh. We’ve seen a lot of you lately, sir.
PRIOR: Busy man.
BLOG: Yes, you are. So, tell us about these bills. First of all, why $10 and $1,000?
PRIOR: Besides being natural increments in many economies, we printed the $10 specifically to address the new Patrol division payouts–which is $15 a patrol. We are actually thinking about reducing that pay to $10 a patrol so that it’s easier for officers to conduct payroll. They’ll only need to send one bill instead of three ($5, $5, $5). We’ll compensate that by raising the maximum patrols per day and maybe even increasing recruitment pay from $25 to $30 permanently. There’s some inflation that needs adjusting.
BLOG: Is the market affected by that inflation?
PRIOR: My wallet is lol. I’m the one who fills every marketplace order in the RFCP store.
BLOG: Soldiers work hard for those prizes!
PRIOR: Yes, they do. It is my honor to redeem those prizes for them.
BLOG: You mentioned in the server that these two bills are your favorite to date. Can you tell us why?
PRIOR: Favorite besides my own–the $100. But these ones are wildly unique.
BLOG: How so?
PRIOR: They’re full of code.
BLOG: Whaaat?
PRIOR: Both of them.
BLOG: Tell us how so.
PRIOR: Nope. People will have to figure it out themselves. But every symbol and secret message has significance to the army.
BLOG: Wow.
PRIOR: The colors are nice too. Very different.
BLOG: Now, let’s talk about the obvious. Opino.
PRIOR: Of course lol.
BLOG: He gets the thousand.
PRIOR: Of course.
BLOG: But isn’t it tradition in the bank to only feature RFCP figures no longer active duty, except yourself?
PRIOR: Yes, it is. We made the same exception for him that we made for me. He is only featured while still active duty because he was the second Commander.
BLOG: Does that make you the first and the third Commander, since you resumed the helm?
PRIOR: [laughs]. No. I will always be the first. We all know I’m irrevocably Commander. Always was and always shall be. Alpha and omega.
BLOG: Humble, aren’t you?
PRIOR: No.
BLOG: Why doesn’t his name plate reflect his current rank, Commissar?
PRIOR: We chose Red Baron because he was the first Red Baron.
BLOG: And the first Commissar is on your $10.
PRIOR: Yes. The $10 is Redovyco, or 082, our first Commissar. Redovyco is still enlisted RFCP but no longer active duty–he is the Dean of our University now, and so the time is perfect to place him and his accomplishments on the bill.
BLOG: The theme is very recon.
PRIOR: As is he.
BLOG: Last question. Will that $1,000 be given out sparingly?
PRIOR: Ohhh, yes. My Tommy Bahama wallet can’t take much more lol.
BLOG: Goes with the Hawaiian shirts.
PRIOR: You know it.
BLOG: Thanks for your time, Prior.
[Prior gives us a shrewd a look]
BLOG: Sir.
PRIOR: Thanks, Doug.
So, fire up those workers’ unions and start earning your new bills, RFCP. We look forward to seeing stocks soar.
Notice references to a brand new RFCP division called the Patrol, and an active university in the army? RFCP blog has your back! Two new posts on these exciting developments out soon!
As RFCP conducted business as usual this weekend–recruitments, trainings, and games–the above photograph came to the hicom’s attention out of the blue. Commander Prior raised an eyebrow.
No interaction between Help Force and RFCP preceded this picture, other than HF’s former leader, Ayan, waging multiple attempts to convince Prior to merge CPW with CPAM.
Relations seemed fine, and the threat appeared unprecedented.
Help Force is an army originally operating on Club Penguin Online Army League (CPOAL). They are children of Epic and Waterkid and attract young soldiers in search of stamps and coins. Due to a dispute in November, HF left CPOAL, joined CPA, and then, following CPA’s demise, headed up Club Penguin Army Media, or CPAM. CPAM, CPOAL, and CPW are the only three Club Penguin army organizations (CPAM does NOT consider itself a league) in existence today.
How could two armies not in the same organization and with very little history of interaction field wartime threats?
However puzzling their threat was, Commander Prior did not let it go unaddressed. He inserted himself into their server and immediately DMed their hicom.
So, a sportmanlike battle was arranged.
Then Help Force released a post stating the battle would be developed into a war they call “Operation Sniper.” Operations are not really wars, but okay. We can help you come up with a better title in a little bit.
The following defined their reasons for war against the Recon Federation:
From our conclusions, the reasons are threefold:
RFCP declared war on PCP, which Help Force found unjustified
Prior Bumble’s ego
CPAM is threatened by CPW
We asked Prior to comment on the second one. He was polishing his officer saber in his study, shoes on his desk.
“My ego?” he said. “It’s only been fed tonight.”
We asked him to elaborate.
“The name ‘Prior Bumble’ still circulates in every blog, in every Discord. I speak and there’s a screenshot taken. I move and there are shockwaves. Keep the attention coming.”
The third reason is ironic–a CPAM army is engaging with a CPW army for activity. Is CPAM unable to generate activity without RFCP?
But Help Force’s first reason is perplexing. Of course, there is first the question of why declaring war in a game specifically meant for declaring war is so offensive. PCP was not engaged in another war at the time and was not a new, tiny army. And contrary to HF’s opinion, RFCP’s reasons to challenge PCP were merited. More on that below.
Funnier still, even while RFCP declaring war had nothing to do with HF, now that Cena and Prior made up and resumed their unbreakable bond, HF doesn’t really seem interested in reconsidering its stance.
In fact, three former PCP soldiers will even be fighting Help Force as newly enlisted RFCP in the war.
Liam (leeuigi), a former Lieutenant-General (3ic) of PCP, was sworn in with 18 onlookers at the cove.
Microwaveable Hamster and Xumazu, former PCP, also joined the Recon Federation. Did any join Help Force?
As for Shad. Despite what Help Force claims, Shad was harbored in PCP server as a Pretzels former leader (because Shad has been a former leader from every army–Prior still is loyal to one). He posted Open Letter #5 a month ago against RFCP which called for “Prior’s empire to crumble” and for “Order 66” to be carried out against us.
lolz
CONTENT NOTE: The following three paragraphs and two images contain adult themes; please be advised.
Worst of all, Shad sexually harassed RFCP officer Shallissa for nudes, which he admitted to in his blog post.
“It did not work the whole process didnt work.” Excellent writing skills.
He claimed it was “part of the plan” to see how Prior would react. Well, guess what? Prior is mad. You don’t use harassment for nudes as an experimental mind game, if that’s even why you actually were asking for them.
Commander Prior Bumble got some action with Kermit the Frog once (have you?), but let us say loud and clear: Not once in his entire history in armies has Prior Bumble asked for, or even was willing to accept when offered, graphic photographs from any individual, let alone harassed anyone for it.
RFCP officers lined up in #news to announce their support of the war against PCP.
Fair terms were set for the PCP/RFCP war, but PCP left the league and, later, left armies all together to become a hangout server before the war could commence.
After Cena reached out via text message last night, RFCP and PCP became brother communities again, and the Recon Federation wishes them joy in the Pretzels’ salty new chapter. Anyone who has followed the friendship of Prior and Cena should know that that love was never gone. In fact, in an earlier draft of this post, before the two started speaking again, Prior offered the following quote to the blog, in the chance that Cena might be reading it somewhere out there:
“I still love him to the ends of the earth,” said Prior. “If you’re reading this, Colin, I always will.”
Help Force then laid out their “terms” for this war.
CPAM functions without judges and without servers. RFCP is confounded as to how any of this will be enforced. This army prefers leagues that make war valid and historic–not pie throwing as each side hollers they’re the winner, as was done in the days of old. Nonetheless, Prior added his own term–that any in-real-life threat, doxxing, joke misgendering (which is becoming trendy), or technological warfare between the two armies on or off the battlefield would result in HF’s immediate forfeit and RFCP will not recognize HF showing as valid.
As for the allegation that RFCP multilogs, the army challenges anyone to produce a single objective piece of evidence supporting this claim.
“I will personally buy Nitro for anyone who can prove RFCP multilogs, on my tyrannical and egotistical honor,” said Prior.
“That username looks weird!” is not evidence, by the way. RFCP’s performance is not sluggish; every soldier is vibrant and responsive. We are a renowned war army known to produce titanic maxes when the call to arms is made.
Today, RFCP soldiers united against backlash from enemies who claim to want “Prior’s empire to crumble.” An idea put forth by Colonel RomanPrince, loyalists donned the hashtag #ImTheEmpireOfPrior in their nicknames and statuses to show that the army and its prowess is far from collapsing.
The slogan was chosen in a 14-8 vote, with the other option being #ImPriorsEmpire–shorter, but less rhyme!
After everyone decided, the atmosphere of army unity and family was palpable. The social media team, which consists of an Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube now, expressed an eagerness to jump on board as well.
“I cannot express how warmed my heart was when I saw screenshots of soldiers of all ranks wearing the hashtag,” said Prior. “‘Prior’s empire’ is not me. It’s us. It’s you. You are the force they want to break. They never will.”
In his previous blog post regarding COVID-19, he stressed that online communities such as RFCP are safe from the social threats of the pandemic at large. Days later, the first ever instance of global politics impacting RFCP politics occurred.
On March 16th, Discord announced it would be installing an update to increase user capacity. This was a direct response to the surge of activity on the platform due to COVID-19–those quarantined are using the website in greater numbers to stay connected, find alternative work environments, and, frankly, to goof off with their extra spare time.
The install backfired, and several servers crashed.
RFCP was among them.
But the universal nature of this setback was not immediately apparent to those who first noticed the icon’s disappearance from their server list. To some, the possibility that yet more vicious attacks on RFCP from those who oppose us could be responsible for the server’s deletion.
Hacking and illicit mass-reporting of the server (even though it breaks no terms of service) from our enemies could indeed cause such a loss to happen. While the entire army was suddenly marooned in individual DMs, Prior scoured forums in search of an answer, and was led to check for the exclamation point at the bottom of his screen that would prove a network outage provoked the disappearance. Indeed, he was relieved to find that it did.
To assuage upset troops, Prior used the army’s alternative contact methods to send out updates.
However, this was not as effective as it should have been. Although the official Twitter has been up since last month, only six RFCP enlisted have come around to following it. The backup outreach platform was there, but the audience wasn’t.
Twenty minutes later, the server revived, and Prior announced:
The officers held a mandatory emergency-response preparedness meeting in #rfcp-summit fifteen minutes later.
Prior outlined steps soldiers should take now to be prepared in the event of any such occurrence.
“Discord temporarily going offline is not concerning,” he said, “but woke us up to the possibility of villains mass reporting our server. Such events would not destroy us, but we must take recovery steps now while we are safe.
Please take a moment to complete these two tasks for our emergency response preparedness:
The third step was to encourage soldiers to fill out the official RFCP archive survey, which was sent around in late January and is designed to gather the community in other environments. If you are an enlisted RFCP and have not filled out this survey (it’s the only non-Feddie survey the army has ever sent), please contact an officer at your earliest convenience.
Other precautions Commander Prior laid out were:
RFCP blog caught Commander Prior as he was in the men’s room washing his hands for the “fourth” time that day.
BLOG: Sir, a moment of your time?
PRIOR: This is the men’s room.
BLOG: We only have a few questions, truly.
PRIOR: Make it fast.
BLOG: About the Discord breach–
PRIOR: It’s being handled.
BLOG: Would losing the server still hit hard after those precautions are in place?
PRIOR: No.
BLOG: Why?
PRIOR: This outage made us stronger. After today, we are totally prepared for any such event, be it terroristic or a mere glitch of the network.
BLOG: Any steps you’ve taken not already mentioned?
PRIOR: We have sleeper servers that are RFCP server clones. They are code named at ZCA level clearance. We’d migrate there without missing a beat and will have everything archived. Hell, we may even use those servers for a few hours if another outage occurs.
BLOG: What are those sleeper servers code named?
PRIOR: As I said. That information isn’t being released at this time.
BLOG: Are anyone but you in them?
PRIOR: Also classified at this time.
BLOG: Any other comments?
PRIOR: RFCP is more than a server. As we proved when we declared independence from CPA, we are a totally self-sufficient community. If we ever get “deleted,” we will return again. And again. And again. Our bond is too strong to ever be exterminated by technological failure or technological warfare that is cowardly and has no place in Club Penguin armies.
BLOG: Thank you, Mr. Bumble.
PRIOR: Thanks, Doug.
BLOG: Hang on, we have one more question. Why is there a shamrock on your urinal drain?
PRIOR: Happy St. Patrick’s Day.
So there you have it. RFCP blog predicts this day will go down in the army’s history as a significant event, the first event of its kind involving real global conflict (COVID-19) that affected the army. Perhaps it will be remembered as even a positive one, for the executive decisions it prompted. Henceforth, it will be referred to as the Great Outage. Stay vigilant, everyone.
We note to our readers that the current website and blog is also backed up. The tragic fate of the hacked and deleted records of the People’s Republic Army, the army some consider to be RFCP’s grandfather, shall never befall us. May interactions online between all parties remain cordial and safe.
All of you by now are aware that I view myself not only as a leader in our military game community, but also as a father and uncle to the many wonderful young people who call this place home. Our army is multinational and diverse.
I don’t assume to know how much access my soldiers have to other support and resources. For some, such assets are plentiful. Others may have little more than this army at this time in their lives as a resource, and I realize that.
That is why I’ve decided to talk to you as a loving and concerned adult about COVID-19 and how the officers here at RFCP advise you to stay safe. RFCP hicom consulted with renowned scientist, Gary, on the information available to us to better educate our executive decsions in the army.
What is a pandemic?
A pandemic is a disease that spreads over a large territory with little response to inhibitors.
What is COVID-19?
Currently, the world is experiencing the widespread transmission of a virus known as COVID-19, or coronavirus, which has flu symptoms but is more dangerous and less treatable. Unfortunately, many people have passed away because of this.
SHOULD I BE SCARED?
Lately you may have been hearing grown-ups talk about this, and they might sound worried. Your parents may be stocking up on supplies and schools may decide to close for a while to keep you safe. My university announced today it would close. It is normal to feel confused or anxious because of all these changes. I will not sugar coat and say that these conditions are not scary. But I will say that being scared and panicking are two different things. We do not panic. We respond to fear with calmness, because calmness saves lives. We keep clear and brave heads and do what we can to help reduce the risks we face. This applies to all difficult situations, and such response is a virtue of being an RFCP enlsited.
How can I stay safe?
Wash your hands several times a day. Do not touch your face, eyes, mouth, etc. Especially for our gaming community, do not use a shared computer. Please use another device to play with us. Wipe down your keyboard and mouse regularly.
Report to a trusted adult immediately if you feel sick. Avoid crowds.  Keep up with the news and stay informed by asking questions.
One of the hardest things about staying safe now is that it requires limited contact with other people. When humans aren’t able to be together, it makes us sad. We were meant to have each other. However, there is good news…
The Good News
RFCP is an online community. Our family can be together in large numbers without concern of trasmitting the virus. We are operating as normal. In fact, we should take this time to draw even nearer to one another and prove that family can be anything as long as there is love. We will come through this as nations, as a world, and as RFCP. Scary things help us learn and grow just a little closer into being the amazing men and women you one day will be. The First Amendment of the Constitution of the RFCP states that “Building character” is one of the core values of the army. We hope that guiding you through hardships of the wolrd contributes to this value. This army is full of good and compassionate adult role models who consider you the most important thing here. We will be here to help you understand and cope with anything that happens in this world.
I love you all. You probably still have questions! Please contact an officer and that officer can refer you to me for direct communication.
RFCP ended the Brutusian War undefeated. The army captured the last Roman stronghold, the isle of Walrus (CPW), and won the war not by way of treaty, but by extermination. No Roman territory remains on the map.
After days of waspish exchanges on the CPW Discord…
…the first battle of the war proved to be the only competitive one. Romans logged on with a max in the low to mid 20s, impressive for a newly revived army. They were crushed, however, as RFCP broke its max record of 30 in the War of No Return with a max of 36.
The showing was so staggering, cries of multilogging or flooding PCP alts in droves riddled the battle room. Commander Prior responded.
“On my honor as a Commander and a man, no CPW rule was broken to obtain this max: neither ally nor multilogging. This was hours of hard work and preparation. This was RFCP performing at its purist.”
Following this battle, which will be known as the Retrieval of Baskin Robbins, the air of confidence and vitriol whooshed out of the Romans. Team Yellow Army leader Darklink was proven to be multilogging with at least one account, VaderX2, and, although he had merged with the Romans days before, was forced to unmerge, pulling the rug from under the Romans. They mustered only three soldiers at the next battle, RFCP’s Defense of Beanie, which saw ACP arrive to contend against Romans as well. Caught between two fronts in two wars, Romans fled. RFCP and ACP had an unprecedented practice battle instead. Although RFCP outnumbered in 2 out 3 rooms, both sides claim victory in this non-official skirmish, because of course they do.
ACP, now leagueless, operates in CPAM, an army news site/organization dedicated to having no judges or government as it was in the days of ancient warfare. During Commander Prior’s service in the PRA, for instance, the PRA and the Nachos would battle and both simply announce on their blogs their own victory. The process is frustrating yet traditional.
In the remaining invasions, Romans did not show. Land was swept up effortlessly.
During a 9:30 p.m. EST invasion of Walrus, Prior, preoccupied with finalizing the army’s five new Constitutional Amendments, posted the battle rooms 9 minutes late, which violates CPW law. The battle was held, no Romans appeared, and no one noticed. It could have been a nonissue. However, Prior decided to hold true to his honor. He messaged a Roman hicom and pointed out the error. He asked if the Romans wouldn’t mind overlooking that mistake, since they have not been showing to any battles anyway.
The Romans said no and insisted the invasion be redone.
Commander Prior scheduled the reinvasion immediately.
The dust now settles. Roman helmets lay on the ground bloodied. RFCP’s first and long awaited war against the Romans is a decisive victory for the Recon Federation. It will be remembered in its histories for many key points:
Hosting a new RFCP max record of 36
Finally satisfying the tension between the two armies that dates back to October
The promotion of Field Marshal Coolj to Colonel
Gain of five new territories
The first time RFCP a) fought, and b) defeated ex-General Cabin in official battle since his departure
With this conclusion, RFCP acquires yet another victorious war against a max 20+ opponent. We celebrate.
“Ever since I joined I have always felt loved and accepted.” — Ice Corporal Ace
“I have been here for about 8 months now and I have enjoyed every bit of it…This is the most supportive, loving, caring, understanding group I have ever seen in my life.” — Ice Corporal Bearz
“My experience here has been always great.” — Captain DemonTFC
“I love this army.” — Sergeant Krispy
“Prior Fucking Bumble is the kindest person I have ever met.” — Red Baron Dab0n
“I have been facing a lot of stuff lately…yall helped me get through it.” — Sergeant L1ghtning
“It has now been 5 months of me being in RFCP, and it has been the best 5 months I have had.” — General Anilia
“From the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much for letting me be part of something so amazing.” — Corporal CandyCorn
“I just felt like something was different with this [army], so i decided to join and check it out, and i am insanely glad i did.” — Major DJChoruskid
“Prior Bumble, thank you for sharing your wonderful soul with us.” — Colonel Microwaveable Hamster
