As RFCP conducted business as usual this weekend–recruitments, trainings, and games–the above photograph came to the hicom’s attention out of the blue. Commander Prior raised an eyebrow.
No interaction between Help Force and RFCP preceded this picture, other than HF’s former leader, Ayan, waging multiple attempts to convince Prior to merge CPW with CPAM.
Relations seemed fine, and the threat appeared unprecedented.
Help Force is an army originally operating on Club Penguin Online Army League (CPOAL). They are children of Epic and Waterkid and attract young soldiers in search of stamps and coins. Due to a dispute in November, HF left CPOAL, joined CPA, and then, following CPA’s demise, headed up Club Penguin Army Media, or CPAM. CPAM, CPOAL, and CPW are the only three Club Penguin army organizations (CPAM does NOT consider itself a league) in existence today.
How could two armies not in the same organization and with very little history of interaction field wartime threats?
However puzzling their threat was, Commander Prior did not let it go unaddressed. He inserted himself into their server and immediately DMed their hicom.
So, a sportmanlike battle was arranged.
Then Help Force released a post stating the battle would be developed into a war they call “Operation Sniper.” Operations are not really wars, but okay. We can help you come up with a better title in a little bit.
The following defined their reasons for war against the Recon Federation:
From our conclusions, the reasons are threefold:
- RFCP declared war on PCP, which Help Force found unjustified
- Prior Bumble’s ego
- CPAM is threatened by CPW
We asked Prior to comment on the second one. He was polishing his officer saber in his study, shoes on his desk.
“My ego?” he said. “It’s only been fed tonight.”
We asked him to elaborate.
“The name ‘Prior Bumble’ still circulates in every blog, in every Discord. I speak and there’s a screenshot taken. I move and there are shockwaves. Keep the attention coming.”
The third reason is ironic–a CPAM army is engaging with a CPW army for activity. Is CPAM unable to generate activity without RFCP?
But Help Force’s first reason is perplexing. Of course, there is first the question of why declaring war in a game specifically meant for declaring war is so offensive. PCP was not engaged in another war at the time and was not a new, tiny army. And contrary to HF’s opinion, RFCP’s reasons to challenge PCP were merited. More on that below.
Funnier still, even while RFCP declaring war had nothing to do with HF, now that Cena and Prior made up and resumed their unbreakable bond, HF doesn’t really seem interested in reconsidering its stance.
In fact, three former PCP soldiers will even be fighting Help Force as newly enlisted RFCP in the war.
Liam (leeuigi), a former Lieutenant-General (3ic) of PCP, was sworn in with 18 onlookers at the cove.
Microwaveable Hamster and Xumazu, former PCP, also joined the Recon Federation. Did any join Help Force?
As for Shad. Despite what Help Force claims, Shad was harbored in PCP server as a Pretzels former leader (because Shad has been a former leader from every army–Prior still is loyal to one). He posted Open Letter #5 a month ago against RFCP which called for “Prior’s empire to crumble” and for “Order 66” to be carried out against us.
CONTENT NOTE: The following three paragraphs and two images contain adult themes; please be advised.
Worst of all, Shad sexually harassed RFCP officer Shallissa for nudes, which he admitted to in his blog post.
He claimed it was “part of the plan” to see how Prior would react. Well, guess what? Prior is mad. You don’t use harassment for nudes as an experimental mind game, if that’s even why you actually were asking for them.
Commander Prior Bumble got some action with Kermit the Frog once (have you?), but let us say loud and clear: Not once in his entire history in armies has Prior Bumble asked for, or even was willing to accept when offered, graphic photographs from any individual, let alone harassed anyone for it.
RFCP officers lined up in #news to announce their support of the war against PCP.
Fair terms were set for the PCP/RFCP war, but PCP left the league and, later, left armies all together to become a hangout server before the war could commence.
After Cena reached out via text message last night, RFCP and PCP became brother communities again, and the Recon Federation wishes them joy in the Pretzels’ salty new chapter. Anyone who has followed the friendship of Prior and Cena should know that that love was never gone. In fact, in an earlier draft of this post, before the two started speaking again, Prior offered the following quote to the blog, in the chance that Cena might be reading it somewhere out there:
“I still love him to the ends of the earth,” said Prior. “If you’re reading this, Colin, I always will.”
Help Force then laid out their “terms” for this war.
CPAM functions without judges and without servers. RFCP is confounded as to how any of this will be enforced. This army prefers leagues that make war valid and historic–not pie throwing as each side hollers they’re the winner, as was done in the days of old. Nonetheless, Prior added his own term–that any in-real-life threat, doxxing, joke misgendering (which is becoming trendy), or technological warfare between the two armies on or off the battlefield would result in HF’s immediate forfeit and RFCP will not recognize HF showing as valid.
As for the allegation that RFCP multilogs, the army challenges anyone to produce a single objective piece of evidence supporting this claim.
“I will personally buy Nitro for anyone who can prove RFCP multilogs, on my tyrannical and egotistical honor,” said Prior.
“That username looks weird!” is not evidence, by the way. RFCP’s performance is not sluggish; every soldier is vibrant and responsive. We are a renowned war army known to produce titanic maxes when the call to arms is made.
Apologies if that scares you.
Erat ipso sacra.
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