Recon Federation of Club Penguin

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: After the judge rules RFCP victory, a desperate TCP misleads their troops after biting off more than they can chew. Written by MicrowaveableHamster, edited by Prior Bumble.

Yesterday was a VERY busy day for RFCP! 

Before the Battle

We started out the morning with an Air Force training event, led by our very own Red-Baron-in-Training Dabon, maxing 5. 

Following the training, we had story time, with a VERY special guest reader, Prior Bumble! Seventeen people turned up to see our beloved and retired Commander and to hear him read to us a sacred story from Int’ai’uto. It brought comfort and peace.

The Battle

Last night was the highlight event of the busy day; our first battle kicking off the Outsiders War with Templars of Club Penguin (TCP). This also marked CoolJ’s first official battle as Commander of RFCP. We maxed at 27 and our average max held strong at 25. The battle took place on White House (CPATG) at 8:00 p.m. EST.

Room 1: Crow’s Nest

The first room we battled in was the Crow’s Nest: an abnormally small room to have a major battle in, but nonetheless, we prevailed and fought through it with visible tactics and quick formations.

Unfortunately for the Templars, they couldn’t stand it another moment and room changed a full minute early! 

Unfortunately for the Templars, they couldn’t stand it another moment and room changed a full minute early! 

Room 2: Night Club

For our second room, we headed to the Night Club, where the skittish Templars were already waiting for us.

They made several disparaging remarks about the retirement of our beloved Prior Bumble, even going as far as saying he had lost his Legend status (untrue, check the Wiki :)). However, Prior’s retirement and their apparent obsession with him long after he is gone, only serves to show what a Legend he truly is. Commander CoolJ took it all in stride and had several well thought-out retorts to their hatred. 

Room 3: Ski Lodge

For our final room we headed to the Ski Lodge, where we battled hard and, with some well-placed formations and tactics, made ourselves very visible even as the Templars attempted several large words bubbles in an last ditch effort to gain the upper hand of the room. Here, a Templar said, “Coolj is a black.” RFCP hit back, “Something wrong with me being black?” to which TCP’s next tactic was, “Yes.”

Social Justice Warrior Maddiecw was fighting for the Templars–are we laying down our Social Justice standards, Maddie? Hmm.

Overtime

Alas, when the cuckoo clock chimed and the battle ended, we were hit with several surprises.

First came a few messages from Commander Coolj and affectionately-nicknamed Uncle Cena, who assisted us in the battle. 

We were all shocked and, understandably, confused as to what this meant for the battle, but waited in the lodge with TCP (who were becoming more toxic by the second) until time for the next room.

When the clock struck :40, everyone moved to the iceberg for overtime, and the battle continued. Soldiers on both sides were tired and everyone was fighting with everything they had when we were hit with another surprise:

A notification, small on the screen and nothing but mere words to some, but an instant burst of excitement and joy for the members of RFCP, who knew what those four short words meant. Our beloved Commander Prior Bumble had joined us on the battlefield.

With Commander Prior boosting morale and steeping RFCP’s edge, the battle proceeded. The usual toxicity extended from TCP, showing their baseless hatred towards Prior Bumble. However, where TCP filled with anger and resentment, RFCP was filled with determination, pride, and happiness. 

Led by Commander CoolJ, we worked our way through the rest of the battle with ease, earning us a victory in the first battle of the Outsiders War. 

Here, Xing proceeded to call Rowan a “faggot” and TCP then lied to their troops and said they won. We are struggling to understand how we are the “toxic” ones.

With all the celebrations done and over with, RFCP just has one thing to say:

You mad?

Stay mad.

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: Hear ye, hear ye. Calling all social justice warriors to bring freedom at last to Prior Warriors.

After being “banned” from CPAH, Prior Bumble and a handful of RFCP hicom formed on August 14 a totally new army with a totally new flag and governing structure called Prior Warriors, or PWCP. 

In this server, MEE6 bot greets every new arrival with shakes hand firmly. The roles are divided between “Prior Bumble” and “Not Prior Bumble.” PWCP also boasts an impressive array of advisors, who are all called Lord Pain. 

Above all is the selection of top notch emotes. 

And their devoted allies. 

RFCP even agreed to ally. 

Astonishingly, Prior Warriors was NOT accepted in CPAH. Please join us as we campaign to reverse this injustice. 

#justiceforPWCP

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: An unlikely and first-time pairing, RFCP and DW contend at a US-timed practice battle.

It was the first time an army in the Black Ice Alliance invited the Recon Federation to duel. Well, off the invasion schedule at least. Dark Warriors representatives freezie and noa reached out to Commander Prior Bumble and requested a practice battle.

Never one to turn down a fight, Prior accepted. On Thursday, September 17th, the two armies collided at server Frosty. RFCP maxed 20 to Dark Warriors’ 31.

Room 1

RFCP entered room 1 with a jingle-bomb “THE RFCP PIZZA IS THE PIZZA FOR YOU AND ME *BEAT BOX*” and assumed a surrounding formation as Dark Warriors made an inverted V. Dark Warriors fired some pretty aggressive tactics targeted specifically a Prior, saying “Nobody likes you” and “Priorsux Priorsux Priorsux” and comparing him to creepy people in the community. RFCP’s clap backs focused on the fact that Dark Warriors had no less than twelve soldiers with name-glow (meaning all are leaders from various armies like RPF and IW). Their uniform in fact closely resembled RPF. The Recon Federation moved with an E+T waterfall and shifted into a wall formation cutting right through the center. Dark Warriors responded by joke-bombing into an X. At this point, Prior ordered a swirling E+I blender maneuver and Dark Warriors moved yet again to avoid the battering. Both armies melded into a plus formation and spent the remainder of the room contending for which tactics would show the best in the shared form.

Room 2

RFCP slid into the stadium with a joke-rake, back and forth from goal to goal. Prior held that order for longer than normal, waiting to see which formation Dark Warriors would take so he could properly counter. Anticipating DW would seize the dominant position of a surround form, which would not put RFCP in a position of strength if duplicated, Prior was surprised to see them adopt another V and so moved his troops to take the coveted surround. Emojis flew and Dark Warriors were heavy on the rhyming “Bumble” tactics. Dark Warriors “WWWWWWWWWWWW” bombed into another plus formation, and RFCP raked into a X formation to compensate. As seen before at other battles, the Warriors did “!ai 495” and donned Prior Bumble’s famous hat, to which RFCP replied, “We love our Prior cosplayers” and “I’ll be signing hats at table 3.”

Room 3

The dogs unleashed at the final room, where Dark Warriors bombed with “WOOF WOOF WOOF…” emulating Prior’s renowned and flirtatious “Woof.” DW formed a thick upside down T and RFCP deployed a V formation. The Federation philosophized against DW, chanting cries of “We are the light that scatters your dark” and pitting themselves as moral opposites on the side of good and evil, dark and light. When Dark Warriors hollered “TABS TABS TABS TABS…” insinuating again that RFCP multilogs (something never supported by IP evidence in this history of our army), Prior shot back “GLOWS GLOWS GLOWS GLOWS…” criticizing again the crock-pot of army leaders from various armies making up his opposition. RFCP E+1 waterfalled as DW bombed, and Prior again held that order for longer than usual as he waited for DW to form first so that he could assess and order a strategic counter form. It looked like DW was going to take the dominant surround position, so Prior ordered a = formation. But as the smoke cleared and DW, curiously, morphed into the same V shape RFCP had made moments ago, Prior quickly shouted for his soldiers to surround the iceberg instead. A pretty steady back-and-forth of gloating and emojis followed between the two, and finally Dark Warriors E8 bombed into another plus formation, where they would stay until the end of the battle. When RFCP raked at :29 with “GG! RESPECT AND THANKS,” the Warriors refused to return the nicety and said, “I’D SAY GG BUT NOT REALLY.”

Conclusion

An unsurprising heavy numerical lead from the Dark Warriors seems to tilt this low-stakes practice battle in their favor. But the real question of this event is why us? Why now? If Dark Warriors and the BIA leaders who participated mean genuinely their aggressive insults at Prior and RFCP, why take the time to invite us to a practice battle? Why engage with us at all? Our side can only interpret the scathing tactics and colorful showing from the BIA as obsessive infatuation with us, even if negative. RFCP remains a dynamic and can’t-stop-talking-about-em force in the army community. We were glad and grateful for the invitation to practice battle and would welcome more (and maybe even better relations) in the future. It is our pleasure to report that in DMs, the Dark Warriors representatives were cordial.

Erat ipso sacra.

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: Join us for the most bizarre event of RFCP history you never knew.

Did you know that the RFCP server you are in right now was not the original RFCP server?

That’s right. Long ago, the first official RFCP server was owned and operated by SgtSpoon. For RFCP historians out there, SgtSpoon is known as the army’s first traitor. And he has been quite steeped in RFCP lore. 

Spoon met Prior Bumble in the EPF room when RFCP was still just a role playing group that did not have a central messaging system. You heard us! In the early days, Recon Federation loyalists simply told each other on Club Penguin that they’d be back the next day–same time, same place–to continue the adventures. And they followed through! The army’s official name was first declared by Prior Bumble by a mere spoken chat bubble in-game as he sat in the EPF chair. No one got a screenshot.

Spoon introduced Prior to the website “Discord” and made a server. The server had no icon. It had basic channels such as #command, #news, #missions, and three chat rooms.

It also had a voice chat…

We all know the story (or do you? See history) of how Spoon betrayed Prior Bumble and exiled him from his own army server, forcing Prior to erect a new one, the one you dwell in today. But this is not the story of how Spoon became the first Benedict Arnold. This is the story of how Prior Bumble got the original server back, almost a year later.

On a Spring day in late April, a sense of injustice hit Prior upon considering the long lost server. Over the months, Spoon had turned the server into a crypt for anti-RFCP, housing people such as Anonting and other cronies. It resembled Pride Rock under Scar’s rule.

And so, determined to right this wrong, Prior contacted Dr. Redovyco–former Commissar and current Dean of the RFCP University–to put Prior in touch with Spoon. 

A group chat was made. 

Spoon metaphorically twisted his mustache when he learned Prior Bumble wanted something from him. At first, Prior asked for it nicely. After all, Spoon almost never used it.

But Spoon trolled and kept asking, “What server?”

Then, Dr. Red offered Nitro. 

Spoon refused. Finally, the real offer hit the table. 

Cash. 

Prior offered $20 via PayPal for the original RFCP server. Spoon’s reply?

Amazingly, Prior Bumble agreed. 

But then…

Fury boiled in both Prior and Redovyco, but both men kept their cool. 

“Forty is plenty for a server that means nothing to you,” Prior went on. “$40 for ownership of the server. You’re giving nothing up; it’s free money to you.”

At that point, Spoon tried to negotiate for $50 each to himself and his friend (another RFCP belligerent, blonde_icon, otherwise known as Em). But Em pushed to finalize the deal. 

Spoon said, “$60. Take it oR leave it.”

Again, astoundingly, Prior agreed. 

But secret talks occurred between Prior and Redovyco–brothers who so much of RFCP’s current success is attributed to. 

Dr. Redovyco agreed to share the burden of risk with Prior. And for that, we recognize him as an unsung RFCP hero. Sing him, dammit!

Afterwards, Spoon invited Prior Bumble to the original RFCP server. Prior said he will send 50% now, and 50% when the ownership was transferred. Reluctantly, Spoon accepted. 

And the deed was done.

That is an historic, prize-winning photograph ^.

But then, when Spoon demanded the rest of the money…

Prior stripped his perms, took the server, and dashed. 

Prior received several more official invoices from Spoon for the remainder of the $60, but Prior ignored them all.

Prior Bumble and Dr. Red got rid of them (banned) eventually of course…but not before playing with them with a little help from Pookie, who was an RFCP Uncle and Advisor at the time. 

After all the trickery, cruelty, and trolling, it sure was nice for Prior to win one. 

We hope you enjoyed this historic and important story. 

What will become of the OG server now? Well, only Commander Prior and Dr. Red occupy it these days, as shrewd guardians of RFCP history. But Prior did have one idea. 

“I may turn it into a museum,” he said, “with 30-minute admittance granted to soldiers who purchase a ticket with their Bumble Bucks.”

They’ll be able to look around in the sacred halls of the first server. 

But we prefer this new server. The one Prior made himself. With all our family in it.

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: Fun, crazy, and of course RFCP-themed, reporter Pink Cloud outlines the top 15 ways to combat boredom!

1. Recruit – Recruiting is the only way the army can grow bigger and stronger, and you get Bumble Bucks, too. Check out #recruitment-coalition for recruiting schedules. For guidance on how to get started, you can also go to Colonel Anilia and Colonel Silla, our Heads of Recruitment, for more information.

2. Patrol – Patrolling is an easy way to earn 30 Bumble Bucks a day and keep all the CPPSes safe. Our new patrol warden is Lt. Da Best. Three patrols a day keeps the bungholes away.

3. Make RFCP Art – When you are in the mood of doing something creative like painting or drawing, you can easily make some fan art related to RFCP. This also includes memes, Where is Prior, and anything you can imagine! Uncle Prior will post your art in a channel for all to admire, and sometimes Silver Thirty runs media contests!

  4. Read RFCP History or Read RFCP-U Classes – Sometimes our time zones don’t match for RFCP-U classes, but that doesn’t mean you cannot learn from them! All of the syllabuses for past RFCP-U classes are pinned in the channel. Just scroll up and read them–and if you contact Uncle Prior for a quick quiz on the class, you’ll even get credit towards your Bachelor’s Degree! Alternatively, you can read the RFCP history page if you are bored right here on our website.

5. Write Suggestions – If you are bored, think of some ways the army can improve. Think of some ideas to help RFCP and submit them to the suggestion box!

6. Complete your tasks – Complete all your tasks, like if you are a banker, update balances and stuff. If you’re on the social media team, send out some tweets. If you’re an event enforcing, start hyping for the next upcoming event!

7. Annoy Someone in the Navy – Annoy someone in the Navy! We love jokes. Note that when annoying someone, do not annoy them when they are sad. Here is an example (don’t worry, we were kidding):

Warning–you might get blocked. Phantom, can I get unblocked now

8. Watch RFCP YouTube channel – If you are bored, watch RFCP videos! We have a channel too.

9. Delete Trash from your PC –  Delete all useless things from your PC as this will make your PC faster for battles!

10. Clean your room – Here is the accurate depiction of your room right now:

You could never find I-SPY Prior in there!

11. Change your PFP or Status –  If you are bored, just change your PFP or status. Erat ipso sacra!

12. Learn Penguin Latin – #chat-penguin-latin is not often used, so it’s time to learn Penguin Latin and not use that chat for chatting in English when you are muted/general chat is locked. We are the only army with our very own language! We must learn some of it. Start out here.

13.  Have VC Party – Just chill around in VC, or schedule some events. You can also watch shows on Krispy TV in the army server!

14. Eat something – Just eat something.

15. Do your homework – Because I bet you haven’t done it yet.

Thank you for reading this blog! If you have some more things to do when bored, comment down below!

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: After Jester steps down as CEO of Club Penguin Army Warfare League (CPAWL), Prior Bumble takes his place.

On September 8th, 2020, Prior Bumble accepted the position of Chief Executive Officer of Club Penguin Warfare League (CPAWL). The move came after the sudden departure of Jtr (AKA Jester) from management, and even from the server itself. Jtr left behind an inactive community and an at-large co-CEO, and revival at the hands of new staff seemed to be CPAWL’s only chance. 

CPAWL was founded on August 12, 2020, and distinguished itself as a heated rival of Club Penguin Army Hub (CPAH). It launched with CEOs Jtr and Sidie9, Producer CPMaster and TD999, Editor-in-Chief Bryce, and a slew of young reporters and judges. Prior Bumble was originally slated to serve as the third CEO, but plans fell through. 

So when RFCP Colonel CPMaster witnessed the abrupt disappearance of Jtr, he encouraged the new owner, Coolguy, to meet with Commander Prior. The two shook hands (firmly) in DMs. 

Both men soon realized they shared a similar vision for CPAWL. Prior outlined the key objectives he’d set for the league should he take any role. 

• Plan a tournament 
• Hire more reporters
• Improve relations with CPAH
• Tidy up the channels
• Update the rules 
• Distribute graphics for staff and armies to use

Coolguy connected with these ideas. 

And so, Prior Bumble stepped up as equals with Coolguy and became the fourth ever CEO of the league. 

It is perhaps ironic to see Prior Bumble take an administrative position at a league which sounds so similar to his January 2020 creation, Club Penguin Warfare (CPW). There was something familiar about posting rules in the rule channel and greeting league members in the announcement channel.

But Prior Bumble’s first announcement as CEO came with a surprise. 

Prior declared that he would NOT be registering RFCP in the league.

“Having a 1ic also as a CEO can be concerning,” he said. “At this time, so that CPAWL knows I’m here for the unbiased best interest of the armies registered, I will not register RFCP unless a leader vote is passed to do so.”

This news is even more significant considering that RFCP, an army famous for its love of domineering competition, currently has no home league to contest in. 

So far, Coolguy and Prior have worked hard to revitalize a quiet server. They collaborated to refresh the league rules and judging guidelines. The chat has awoken. A tournament is in the works. CPAWL expects to release its first Top Ten on Sunday.

As for improving relations with CPAH, CEO Pookie437 expressed hesitance. CPAWL identified as an anti-CPAH league under Jtr’s leadership, and so the possibility of a partnership may have to wait. Unbanning Pookie and his co-CEO, Lucifer, was Prior Bumble’s first act with his perms, however. 

This is an exciting chapter for our Commander, but some RFCP reading may be frustrated by their leader’s promise to refrain them from the league. 

Did Prior Bumble make the right choice as a CEO? How about as an army leader?  Will CPAWL succeed under new management? What do YOU think? Let us know in the comments! 

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: Against all odds, Tamales and RFCP leaders come together to strike a partnership of colonization under the Recon Federation.

On September 7, 2020, newly-named Tamales 1ics Proditor (“Yep, it is David”) and Slick89( n’ 57r4n63) signed a treaty formalizing Tamales as a colony of the RFCP.

This shocking agreement, following a violent history of RFCP and Tamales-predecessor, PIC, comes after Emma and Sidie9 stepped down as leader. Proditor and Prior Bumble have preserved a warm friendship through every storm of their opposite allegiances, and so when Proditor took command, he approached Prior Bumble for this arrangement first.

The contract signed above is a copy of the same proposal Prior Bumble presented to Tamales within days of their opening a few weeks ago. Wounds of the past had been licked, and it seemed a path to friendship was possible. While Proditor and Rowan Alden (then-2ic) supported it at the time, other Tamales hicom pushed back and the offer was withdrawn. That is why Commander Prior raised an eyebrow when Proditor returned to message him yesterday that Tamales would now like to accept.

After the ink had dried, El Capitan Slick made an announcement in Tamales Discord, and Prior Bumble joined to tip his hat. That’s when things got a little rocky. Bryce, a former leader, protested the colonization and tried to nullify it. But Tamales 1ic stood by their word and enforced the agreement.

“It’s not at all my desire to cause stress on Tamales; the opposite in fact,” said Prior. “Bryce slammed my DMs with foul language and seemed to be taking out his anger at his 1ics on me, a foreign leader. Bryce is not a 1ic anymore. One of my Generals hopping into CSY’s DMs wouldn’t nullify a contract I made with ACP, and I’m glad that Tamales upheld their word and stuck to the same standard. That was brave.”

Prior also commented that, because he understood Bryce and a few others were upset, he agreed to reduce the colonization from 14 days to 10.

“I hope that makes things a little better. I think this will be great for all of us.”

This colonization is the crown jewel on a week of colonial enterprises entered into by the RFCP.

The Fish Heads of CP agreed to an identical colonization contract on August 27th, and the Janitors of CP did the same on the same date.

At the Janitors and Fish Heads servers, Prior Bumble appointed a colonial governor to each, tasked with increasing activity for the smaller armies and enforcing terms. General Shallissa was appointed Governor of the Janitors, and Commissar Coolj, M.M., M.V., was appointed Governor of the Fish Heads.

The Janitors have since merged with RFCP yesterday due to leader inactivity; their hicom all being offered the rank of Lieutenant.

“We are an empire, by definition,” said Commander Prior, “but the cooler part is expanding our family. Our first colonists, the Duck Knight Army, called me Uncle Prior. I missed that. I welcome all colonists to the RFCP clan!”

May these relationships bring success to all.

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: RFCP reporter Pink Cloud delivers a stirring and controversial post about the Commander’s murderous ways.

On 18 of August, 2020, on a Tuesday, our Commander kills a grasshopper.

Our Commander felt terrible after brutally killing the poor grasshopper, but there was nothing he could do about that now.

Prior Bumble said that he put holy water on the grasshopper, which he carries around in a glass bottle with him everywhere he goes, just for the purpose of blessing deceased animals he comes across.

This can be evidenced in another comment from him nearly a year ago.

Prior also claims that the grasshopper was quite old and large, perhaps a way to make himself feel better.

But Prior Bumble stayed with the squished grasshopper on the path after the accident.

We thought the grasshopper died at exactly 11:18 p.m. IST. But then…

Most people are demanding for a funeral for the grasshopper, but some argue it survived. Who knows; the grasshopper might even haunt Prior Bumble.

I interviewed our Commander. Here was his reply:

Q: When did the grasshopper die?

A: I stepped on it on my afternoon walk earlier this week.

Q. Was it in the backyard when you stepped on it?

A: It was on the path towards the Civil War ruin.

Q. Do you think the grasshopper survived?

A: No Yes.

Q. Did you perform any rituals on the grasshopper?

A: I did. I stayed with it and prayed for it so it was not alone. Usually, when I see a dead animal, I sprinkle Catholic holy water on it too.

Q. Anything extra that you would like to say?

A: I have rescued gnats from my cereal before. I try to never harm a living thing.

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: RFCP reports on a historic new friendship.

After almost a year of tumultuous relations, RFCP soldiers were alarmed to see the announcement of a practice battle with “our allies,” the Templars.

Templars (TCP), led by Xing, and RFCP bonded over being banned together in the same CPAH “vote. ” Both armies sympathized with one another on the unfairness and persecution they feel is shared by them. This, combined with positive changes to TCP hicom (including goodwill gestures from Xing and Freedomist, as well as the influence of the extremely kind-mannered Otter), resulted in a strong fellowship.

On 11 August, RFCP and TCP formalized the alliance with a groupchat called “Brotherhood of the Banned” and a document entitled the Pact of the Dragon.

The treaty, uniquely, lacks a military emphasis. It is instead focused on verbal support and advocacy for another.

In the past, Xing has targeted Prior Bumble with derogatory remarks, and many recall the TCP-RFCP battle as recently as earlier this summer, where the Templars were so toxic towards RFCP that the judges disqualified them. It is therefore understandable that the soldier body of RFCP hesitated to accept hicom’s word that new leafs were turning.

However, as weeks passed, the Templars proved good on their pledge. Templar hicom have been kind visitors to RFCP server, and expressed solidarity with RFCP at their first practice battle since the ban, where RFCP maxed 16.

Since, Xing has worked more closely with Commander Prior on matters of foreign analysis; and even of Templar internal affairs. One could say the two leaders–historically foes, and only uneasy partners in the Gridline Wars–have authentically, humanly, become friends.

The fondness extended as well to the server. Prior dropped some boosts, and TCP dropped some love.

The two armies practice-battled twice more since. Off the field, each army have even gone after each other’s hicom when both RFCP and TCP experienced dispute among important members. No, not to prey off disgruntled officers to funnel into their own armies–but to convince them to return home.

“This doesn’t feel like begrudging cooperation,” said Commander Prior, “this feels lifelong.”

Today, IW crashed TCP/RFCP’s third practice battle. The two banned brothers stood strong.

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