NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: An unlikely and first-time pairing, RFCP and DW contend at a US-timed practice battle.
It was the first time an army in the Black Ice Alliance invited the Recon Federation to duel. Well, off the invasion schedule at least. Dark Warriors representatives freezie and noa reached out to Commander Prior Bumble and requested a practice battle.
Never one to turn down a fight, Prior accepted. On Thursday, September 17th, the two armies collided at server Frosty. RFCP maxed 20 to Dark Warriors’ 31.
Room 1
RFCP entered room 1 with a jingle-bomb “THE RFCP PIZZA IS THE PIZZA FOR YOU AND ME *BEAT BOX*” and assumed a surrounding formation as Dark Warriors made an inverted V. Dark Warriors fired some pretty aggressive tactics targeted specifically a Prior, saying “Nobody likes you” and “Priorsux Priorsux Priorsux” and comparing him to creepy people in the community. RFCP’s clap backs focused on the fact that Dark Warriors had no less than twelve soldiers with name-glow (meaning all are leaders from various armies like RPF and IW). Their uniform in fact closely resembled RPF. The Recon Federation moved with an E+T waterfall and shifted into a wall formation cutting right through the center. Dark Warriors responded by joke-bombing into an X. At this point, Prior ordered a swirling E+I blender maneuver and Dark Warriors moved yet again to avoid the battering. Both armies melded into a plus formation and spent the remainder of the room contending for which tactics would show the best in the shared form.
Room 2
RFCP slid into the stadium with a joke-rake, back and forth from goal to goal. Prior held that order for longer than normal, waiting to see which formation Dark Warriors would take so he could properly counter. Anticipating DW would seize the dominant position of a surround form, which would not put RFCP in a position of strength if duplicated, Prior was surprised to see them adopt another V and so moved his troops to take the coveted surround. Emojis flew and Dark Warriors were heavy on the rhyming “Bumble” tactics. Dark Warriors “WWWWWWWWWWWW” bombed into another plus formation, and RFCP raked into a X formation to compensate. As seen before at other battles, the Warriors did “!ai 495” and donned Prior Bumble’s famous hat, to which RFCP replied, “We love our Prior cosplayers” and “I’ll be signing hats at table 3.”
Room 3
The dogs unleashed at the final room, where Dark Warriors bombed with “WOOF WOOF WOOF…” emulating Prior’s renowned and flirtatious “Woof.” DW formed a thick upside down T and RFCP deployed a V formation. The Federation philosophized against DW, chanting cries of “We are the light that scatters your dark” and pitting themselves as moral opposites on the side of good and evil, dark and light. When Dark Warriors hollered “TABS TABS TABS TABS…” insinuating again that RFCP multilogs (something never supported by IP evidence in this history of our army), Prior shot back “GLOWS GLOWS GLOWS GLOWS…” criticizing again the crock-pot of army leaders from various armies making up his opposition. RFCP E+1 waterfalled as DW bombed, and Prior again held that order for longer than usual as he waited for DW to form first so that he could assess and order a strategic counter form. It looked like DW was going to take the dominant surround position, so Prior ordered a = formation. But as the smoke cleared and DW, curiously, morphed into the same V shape RFCP had made moments ago, Prior quickly shouted for his soldiers to surround the iceberg instead. A pretty steady back-and-forth of gloating and emojis followed between the two, and finally Dark Warriors E8 bombed into another plus formation, where they would stay until the end of the battle. When RFCP raked at :29 with “GG! RESPECT AND THANKS,” the Warriors refused to return the nicety and said, “I’D SAY GG BUT NOT REALLY.”
Conclusion
An unsurprising heavy numerical lead from the Dark Warriors seems to tilt this low-stakes practice battle in their favor. But the real question of this event is why us? Why now? If Dark Warriors and the BIA leaders who participated mean genuinely their aggressive insults at Prior and RFCP, why take the time to invite us to a practice battle? Why engage with us at all? Our side can only interpret the scathing tactics and colorful showing from the BIA as obsessive infatuation with us, even if negative. RFCP remains a dynamic and can’t-stop-talking-about-em force in the army community. We were glad and grateful for the invitation to practice battle and would welcome more (and maybe even better relations) in the future. It is our pleasure to report that in DMs, the Dark Warriors representatives were cordial.
Erat ipso sacra.
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