RFCP Declares War on the Army of Club Penguin

On September 29, 2019, ex-General Chainpro of the RFCP abandoned his post. After weeks of premeditation, he reformed the first army in Club Penguin existence, the Army of Club Penguin.

This project was spearheaded by an ACP legend and former leader, McHappy. It attracted immediate interest from a wide variety of veterans and formerly inactive CPA members, largely due to its name recognition.

The history of ACP predates this modern league. It was formed on September 29 (notice the same date), 2006. Its founder was Oagalthorp, the most legendary figure in CPA history. It was he who pioneered the idea of armies in Club Penguin. He is the George Washington of our community, more than a decade ago.

The army was influential in every way. During Prior Bumble’s service in the PRA, he fought next to Oagalthorp and met him on the battlefield. Below is a transcript of Oagalthorp’s historic retirement speech:

My name is Michael, as some of you may already know. If you’ve read the ACP Saga, you’ll know that the ACP was founded September 29, 2006. Tell your grandkids about that date because it was the beginning of an era. We were giants and Club Penguin was our stomping grounds. From Mammoth to Breeze, from the dojo to the snow forts, we were a force. At our best we were the best, and we did it with pride and class. We were the pinnacle.

As memory of Club Penguin recedes, the digital fossils of this community—the Army of Club Penguin specifically and the army community it birthed generally—will drift away in a sea of ambient data. Yet it will always be here. This website and all of the times had within it—good and bad, funny and frustrating, elating and surreal—will remain, frozen in time, waiting for some internet anthropologist to one day find it and think “Damn, wasn’t that something.” I don’t know if there’s any significance in that.

Ok, enough of that waxing poetic bulls**t. Bottom line, this was a good thing and I’m glad it happened. We were all part of it, and it wouldn’t be what it was without you.

Until later,
March on

Now, however, ACP returns, wearing the same banner and hijacking the same website. The public relations move was effective.

During the infant weeks of ACP’s return to Club Penguin Armies under the leadership of Chainpro and McHappy, RFCP watched closely. Immediately, the two armies got off to a rocky start. Combine Chainpro’s departure from RFCP, a few accusations of troopstealing from either side, ACP’s aligning with LGA (there were rumors of a “Green Alliance”), and the fact that ACP events have been buffeting RFCP off its consistently 2nd or even 3rd place spot in the Top Ten, and conflict felt inevitable.

Despite successful, high-maxing events, ACP remained server-less for weeks.

No matter how tense the two armies’ relations got, battle seemed illogical. If RFCP were to declare, the war would be 100% defensive. ACP, on the other hand, was not allowed to declare without land.

ACP’s hunger for servers was inevitable. And its options were limited. RPF and LGA are their allies. Cena’s new army, Shock Troops, did not yet inherit its servers back from RFCP protection. The options remaining were Winged Hussars and RFCP.

Then, some diligent observers on the CPA Discord noticed “Chainpro is typing…” in #schedule-invasions.

Shortly after, the channel went silent, and instead, this popped up:

The iron seemed hot. In a pressure-cooked moment, without counsel from RFCP hicom, Commander Prior knew he had a decision: declare war on ACP, or be declared on.

He made his choice.

The move caused shock waves. Many were surprised, knowing the affectionate history of Chainpro and Prior Bumble. Others took it as unwarranted aggression. Prior’s DM’s filled with some vagrant ACP troops calling him names and puffing their chests. At RFCP’s evening recruitment, three angered ACP raided and attempted to steal the interested users RFCP invited to the EPF room. Chainpro, sitting in Prior’s EPF seat, was promptly sat upon by Prior.

But who, you may ask, is Lord Pain, whose name was invoked in Prior’s declaration?

Just as Oagalthorp claims a mythological place in army history, Lord Pain takes the throne on the other end of the table. He led the campaign against ACP known as the Pain Wars. Originally, he had sworn to leave retirement to crush Chainpro’s ACP, but the intensity of his emotions cooled enough to keep him only a devoted mentor to the new generation leaders.

Upon hearing of RFCP’s intended declaration, Lord Pain offered his blessing.

ACP members close to Prior, such as Hexxer and Koloway, harbored troubled feelings while the rest of CPA beeped their microwave buttons and shoved in popcorn bags. Club Penguin Armies News Network (CPANN), emceed by the appropriately named Emcee (RPF), discussed the events deep into the night. Even LGA leader, hippieFRESH, had warm regards.

The direct answer to the burning question some people still are unclear on is this:

Why did RFCP declare war on ACP?

“The logical reasons remain,” said Commander Prior. “RFCP silence to ACP is suicide of our Top Ten position. Our army disapproves of ACP’s alignment with LGA. It is aware of the inevitability of our armies’ conflict, seizing the opportunity to make the bold first move. And of course, there is still some soreness to ex-General Chainpro departing from our high command. However…”

The next part, the greatest:

“RFCP knows the impact of this move politically. We are ready to go down in history as the army that put down ACP in the modern age. The army that prevented ACP’s return to glory. Therefore, we name this war…”

The War of No Return

See you on the battlefield.

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