The Officers and Commander of the RFCP wishes the army and its friends the warmest and merriest Christmas at this time. It’s been quite the December! RFCP celebrated the season with a series of unique events aimed at fun, community, and holiday spirit.
It kicked off the month with an opportunity to sit on Prior Claus’ lap and recite wish lists.
Prior Claus (sometimes called Santa Bumble) reminded every person that Santa, Commander Prior, and God loves them.
Next, the army gathered in the forest to select the Christmas tree for Papa Prior to chop down. They, of course, chose the most humongous one there.
Then, RFCP performed its first ever stage production, “A Very RFCP Christmas,” sponsored by the Hallmark channel.
One of the cast members even improvised when they accidentally put on a kiwi costume.
For those who didn’t catch the matinee, the script, authored by Prior Bumble, is below:
Act Three:
ACT FIVE—INT. The lodge. Black woman and old man have left. it’s just Brice an Claire.
END
From there, Mama Eva hosted a cookie decorating event in her kitchen, where she instructed junior bakers via MS paint, resulting in some excellent looking holiday cookies.
Sadly, Prior and Waffle caught a cold at around the same time, and the army demanded they be nursed back to health by Brigadier “Grandma” CC, Sidie, and Field Marshal Sha.
During this comforting event, Ice Corporal Milkman had a sensual affair with a glass of milk.
A few days later, Brigadier HamsterLover hosted a sacred and beautiful Nativity event at her igloo, where faithful RFCP volunteered to take on the roles of the Magi, Joseph and Mary, angels, farm animals, and the shepherds. Jesus was represented by an ice penguin.
A very special event was then held. Commander Prior invited RFCP’s two Jewish soldiers, Sillabye and Shiro, to light the first candle of Hanukkah with him in his igloo. Since Brigadier ThatOneNoob also attended, that made this a loving event shared between 1 Christian, 1 Muslim, and 2 Jews. What made it even more touching was that Sillabye was otherwise alone in real life at this time, and, if not for this event, the tradition that “no Jew be alone on this night” would have been broken for Sillabye.
Prior joined in the Hebrew prayer at Sillabye’s direction.
On Christmas Eve, a storytime was held. First, redeeming an order Lieutenant Waffle placed at the Bank of RFCP, Prior recounted the story of how he and Cena became friends. After then, his PC crashed, and Cena was called to fulfill the task of reading “Twas the Night Before Christmas”–the first ever story told by someone other than the Commander at storytime.
Finally, spirits were high on Christmas Day! As scheduled, Prior offered an intimate and uplifting address to the army at 3:00 p.m. It was delivered to the backdrop of radio noises in #commander-broadcast, RFCP’s rarely used read-only channel for Prior to speak to the whole army. Love was exchanged everywhere.
Memes were made using photos Prior posted of his family’s Dickens’ Christmas village…
PRIOR EVEN SPOKE TO TUMBLING ON THIS DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The army concluded with Christmas dinner, including Uncle Cena, at Prior’s igloo.
Naturally, family fights broke out.
This blog post offers one more humorous holiday tale not all are aware of: Prior wished to buy Colonel Roman an in-real-life present for Christmas, as he has her home address. He deployed both Field Marshal Pho and Admiral Sidie9’s help in figuring out what she wanted. This was the best they could scour:
And so, Prior obliged, but….
We asked Prior what he plans to do with the few moments remaining of Christmas.
“I am now going to retire…” he said–evoking gasps– “….to the creche [a home display of the Nativity manger] in the parlor,” (relieved sighs) “and finish my nightly prayers for each soldier in the army. Merry Christmas to all of you. 2020 shall be the strongest year for the Recon Federation yet.”
We at the RFCP send our love and cheer.
Erat ipso sacra. And to all a good night.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Leave a Reply