Canada: The World’s Best Kept Secret

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: All seems normal in the RFCP server, except there’s a smell of maple syrup in the air…

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How Similar is the PRA and the RFCP?

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: Using evidence from historic PRA sites and documents, the blog examines just how comparable the RFCP is to Prior Bumble’s original army.

Recently, the Recon Federation website, established 2019, surpassed the site traffic of the original People’s Republic Army, which has been live since 2007. This is an enormous moment for the RFCP, which can interpret these numbers as eclipsing the reach of what many consider to be its predecessor. Granted, the PRA website suffered serious losses of data, allegedly at the hands of Army of Club Penguin hackers long ago (after Prior Bumble’s retirement), making it hollow and bare.

It is nonetheless significant that RFCP in less than two years amassed more hits than the PRA in thirteen years. Below are the records at the time of this post’s publication:

People’s Republic Army:

Recon Federation of Club Penguin:

This occasion prompts us to look at the two armies and compare their characters. Soldiers of the RFCP are long used to hearing about how the PRA heavily influenced the RFCP (or, at least, influenced the RFCP more than any other army). But can they speak with confidence as to why that is the case? This post hopes to make some key arguments.

Governmental Structure

First, we will look at the governmental structure of the two armies. RFCP and PRA both follow a structure entirely unique to them: one first-in-command, one second-in-command. That is to say, only one person may occupy the role of first-in-command and only one person may occupy the role of second-in-command. As far as we know, no other Club Penguin Army ever held this structure.

While other advantages to this structure can be debated and theorized, such a system clearly benefits autocracy. Having one Commander, who chooses only one Commissar (second-in-command), certainly one who aligns with his vision, protects the Commander from heavy pushback among other officers.

The People’s Republic Army is a Communist People’s Republic, in which all power goes to a supreme ruler. There can be only one of these rulers at one time, and he makes all major decisions.

– From the 2013 PRA revival website.

The rank names were slightly tweaked from the PRA to the RFCP, however.

Did Prior Bumble follow the PRA’s structure out of reverence for his old army? Others might argue that the autocratic nature of Prior Bumble would have led him to form an authoritarian governmental structure regardless. Curiously, CollinZfresh described the PRA on the original 2007 website as not a Communist republic but a “Democratic Republic,” although none of his policies or governmental structures reflected this.

Contradicting statements

On the contrary, Prior Bumble has been pretty open about being an authoritarian.

Western ideologies often promote democracies and decentralized power as the only moral government structure. Perhaps it is too broad a stretch to add Club Penguin Army governments to the evidence of real-world nations, but in the scope of military institutions, democracy is seldom heard of. What makes authoritarianism in an army environment complicated is how most Club Penguin armies also seek to function as micronations, with no separation between citizen and soldier. Although not as vocal, other authorities in the community have sided with the style of Prior Bumble. RPF Rebel Commander Elmikey functioned much the same way as Prior Bumble while in charge, and DMT and Cena have both drawn likeness between the two leaders. Cena likewise operated in a similar fashion as Commander of Shock Troops.

“I distinctly remember a conversation with Lord Pain in which he said democracy among Club Penguin armies does not work. I tend to agree.”

– Prior Bumble

Further debate on democracy vs. autocracy in the Club Penguin Armies universe deserves its own post.

Comparisons Between Prior Bumble and CollinZfresh

Personality comparisons between Prior Bumble and CollinZfresh have been drawn. Both men were regarded as well-spoken and charming. Both men have been observed losing their temper; although, be it for lack of sources or true nature, CollinZfresh appears to have had better and more consistent composure.

Both leaders also wore profile pictures that advanced their statecraft, Collin with a photo of the U.S. Capital dome and Prior with an naval officer’s hat, rank O-7 and above.

CollinZfreh
Prior Bumble

Of course, in-game, Prior Bumble carried on PRA legacy by wearing the red PRA helmet as part of his Commander uniform.

Now, RFCP soldiers refer to CollinZfresh as Grandfather Collin, advancing the RFCP’s system of patriarchy. Patriarchy seems to be a feature exclusive to RFCP, as there is little evidence that the PRA made fatherly or with kinship the positions of high ranks.

Rules

Below is a screenshot of the original laws of the 2007 PRA. Highlighted in yellow are laws that have similar counterparts in the current policies of the RFCP.

PRA’s laws seem to be more focused on environmental roleplay than truly enforceable server rules. However, Rule #1 of no violence corresponds to RFCP’s policies against cyberbullying/racism, etc. Rule #4 corresponds to Prior Bumble’s infamous crackdowns of spinoff servers with RFCP members, both with the interest of keeping traffic centralized to his main server and to combat conspiracy and trash-talk. Spinoff servers were usually approved by him if a trusted officer presided in the server. Rule #5, likewise, is strictly echoed in the RFCP’s Constitution. Rule #8 reinforces the Prior Policy that excessive challenging him on his decisions will not be tolerated.

Regarding rule #6, RFCP never has collected money from its members, and Prior Bumble has allegedly spent over $2,000 USD of his own money on supporting his soldiers or providing merchandise to those who purchased them with Bumble Bucks.

Rule #7 would be unlikely to appear in a Prior Bumble administration, although the army’s communal discussion channel, #rfcp-summit, often welcomes and respects the voices of its enlisted.

“Number three [law] is cute,” said Prior. “I’d add that, maybe with an Int’ai’uto conservation spin.”

Below is the 2013 PRA revival code of law. Highlighted in yellow are laws that have similar counterparts in the current policies of the RFCP.

There Can Be Only One Law strongly echoes RFCP’s autocracy. The Recruiting Bill is similar to RFCP’s policies of centralization of activity to the RFCP server (enlisted must be in the server!). The Ground is the Limit Law is similar to RFCP’s no dual-enlistment law, except RFCP takes it much further by prohibiting ALL soldiers, not just the 1ic, from dual-enlisting.

Most striking to us was the Allies Neutral Bill, which permitted the PRA to enter an isolationist state at any time. This is remarkably similar to the RFCP’s policy of Ukahala.

Divisions

The PRA had a division of body guards for officers Lieutenant and above. This is comparable to RFCP’s Priortorian Guard.

From the ranks page of the 2007 PRA
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Conclusion

The People’s Republic Army was a small army with a big leader. CollinZfresh never achieved major army status but was inducted a full CPA Legend for his grand ideas and personality, and for being deeply intertwined with the politics of original army leaders. Some might consider Prior Bumble’s status almost identical. The armies these two men created were uniquely firm and autocratic in a landscape of armies with highly mobile social ladders. Evidence of correlation between policies and character exist, but, as the numbers of site traffic attests, it could be argued that the RFCP has surpassed the PRA in terms of breadth and identity.

What do YOU think? What other similarities and differences do you see between the PRA and the RFCP? Comment below!

The Spirit of Fall

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: As RFCP prepares for Halloween and Fall, General Sillabye, who hails from Canada, interviews soldiers for their thoughts on the season and holiday.

HELLO SOLDIERS AND FRIENDS OF RFCP! YOU KNOW WHAT MONTH IT IS!

SPOOKY MONTH!

Don’t worry, there’s nothing scary in this blog! Well, aside from Sillabye’s Canadian spelling.

That’s right, soldiers, it’s the month of colour-changing leaves, pumpkin spice lattes, ghosts, and other spooky things. So now it’s time to pull out your flannel shirts (RIP Papa’s Hawaiian shirts), light a scented candle, pull out the pumpkin-carving tools, and get ready for the season of tricks and treats!

In the RFCP server, things have already gotten spooky. Members have strode into the season’s spirit with some fun nicknames and Halloween-themed profile pictures!

Thank you to Sergeant Cookie for coming up with the amazing nicknames for Microwavable Hamster and CoffeeBean!

In the spirit of Halloween, we decided to interview some of our soldiers and other familiar faces in the server about Fall, Halloween, and all things spooky!

Are you happy Fall is here?

“Fall is great. I love the colors of the trees. I sometimes forget leaves can change colors 0.0” – Joshafter

“yes!! it’s always been my favourite season, I literally started decorating my room for it in early September” – Ot_ter

“Yep! Been waiting a while for it. :)” – JustinTFC

“Pretty much.” – RandomPlayer10

“Yessss because the leaves are changing colors which makes it so pretty outside:” – Bearz

“Yes Im very glad its fall! It gets nice and cool!” – CandyCorn

“Kinda, miss summer where you can grab an inflatable pool and just chill.” – DabOn

So what are you looking forward to the most this season?

“Im looking forward to halloween, i’m dressing up as an among us character” – Joshafter

“Ooh for sure all the seasonal food that comes out. I literally love seeing what people manage to come up with, plus they’re normally delicious” – Ot_ter

“Halloween, and hopefully peace towards everyone and armies.” – JustinTFC

“it’s a nice set of months, but definitely s p o o k y m o n t h.” – RandomPlayer10

“Pumpkin carvings and haunted corn mazes (if covid didn’t happen)” – Bearz

“I am looking forward to the rainy weather.” – CandyCorn

“School break and HALLOWEEEEEEENNN.” – DabOn

Who has the best spooky nickname (in the server)?

“Microham, Micrograveable is a great spooky name. I also like cereal killer because I do be eating that cereal. OH WAIT CHANGE MY ANSWER TO DEMON FOR BEST NAME” – Joshafter

“MicroGRAVEable Hamster LMAO, like I’m sorry I laughed at that for a good 20 minutes shjshdjdjd” – Ot_ter

“Hmmm… MicroGRAVEable Hamster probably.” – JustinTFC

“Who knows? Off to check. Maybe Josh.” – RandomPlayer10

“Joshafter mannn he kills cereals dudee.” – Bearz

“Hmmm Def Microwavable Hamster.” – CandyCorn

“Spooky because he always has spooky in his nickname” – DabOn

What is your favourite scary movie?

“IT” – Joshafter

“I don’t really know if it counts as scary? but corpse bride because emily” – Ot_ter

“I’ve never been allowed to watch them, so, I guess Club Penguin Shutdown: The Movie” – JustinTFC

“My old home videos, scariest thing ever recordedI don’t really know. I might have to watch more movies.” – RandomPlayer10

“Well I like the comedy series called scary movie lol but for actual scary I like those paranormal movies like poltergeist etc.” – Bearz

“My favorite scary movie is Hocus Pocus”. – CandyCorn

“Idk I haven’t watched any, I’m too scared lol.” – DabOn

And what’s your favourite monster?

“Can clowns be monsters? (Silla (S): yes) CLOWNS! Bruh they scary but I love them” – Joshafter

“Legoman (S: i-) LMAO” – Ot_ter (S: for legal reasons this is a joke)

“Don’t include this because it’s not my legit answer yet, REDACTED (S: AHHHH) Know what… Actually. Yep. Screw it, favorite monster is REDACTED” – JustinTFC

“Ummm the dude from Sinister i think his name is Bughuul”- Bearz

“Does Billy the puppet count as a favorite monster?” – CandyCorn

“The one under my bed that comforts me when I’m crying at night” – DabOn

What is your Halloween tradition?

“Buying candy because I’m too old to get some from the houses around me” – Joshafter

“I’ve actually stopped doing Halloween, I just get Chinese with my mom and maybe dad while my brother messes around with his friends.” – JustinTFC

“Going out of town to get a candy, trick or treating is great.” – RandomPlayer10

“Setting up halloween decorations and carving pumpkins” – Bearz

“My halloween tradition is to make chocolate cake for my family.” – CandyCorn

“Trick or Treat. I never do it, I love giving the chocolate out to the little kids though.” – DabOn

What Fall or Halloween events would you love to see the RFCP do?

“Spooky story time in VC” – Joshafter

“honestly I’m not sure! but I know that RFCP HCOM probably have so many great things planned, so as long as I’m pleasantly surprised hehe” – Ot_ter

“Pumpkin carving contest! :)” – JustinTFC

“Maybe something in animal crossing, it needs more love.” – RandomPlayer10

“Oooo a costume contest or a pumpkin carving contest” – Bearz

“I would love to have RFCP do a Halloween movie watch together. :D” – CandyCorn

“Halloween party, we all dress up as skeletons or something spooky and just vibe, like a dress up party but Halloween.” – DabOn

Final question: Are you ready to get SPOOKY?

“YES!” – Ot_ter

“YEAAAAAAAA!” – JustinTFC

RandomPlayer10 just sent in a JoJo meme with the word “Yes” dozen of time.s

“Yesssssss!” – Bearz

“Yes! More than ready!” – CandyCorn

“YESSSSSS!!!! SPOOPYY MONTH IS HEREEEEEEEEEE!” – DabOn

We also decided to also ask RFCP’s residential spooky expert, Captain Spooky, how to keep the Halloween spirit alive all year:

Since your name is spooky, you must be our spook expert! How can we keep the spooky spirit alive all year?

Spooky: the secret to being spooky is to take in all lowercase no matter what. also make sure to use sarcasm to the fullest, also take cool lessons. i own the cool class dojo

Anything else?

Spooky: randomly send letters in chat and phrases. pretend you have discord nitr, .be an egotistical. pretend you’re funny. that’s all.

Thank you for your time.

There you have it: the RFCP server is ready for the month of haunts! HICOM is also prepared to make the most of this fun month with the Recon Federation of Club Penguin’s Awesome Autumn Event Contest! More details about this super fun event will be released soon!

Also, who is that behind you?

BOO!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

SILLABYE

Reporter-in-Training

A Message from Prior Bumble to His Soldiers

Vei’u da ere varu, ere rahuk’juks, ere huks. Dre wurvan granvar sch’ock, sum rec, x al jukkin chu’alk vei’u. Coolj teyon wess.

Er vhe ush mir wey:

Granvar sum vei’u f’yo al T. Nuvar lanu. Granvar sum vei’u.

R granvar? 2,100.

Prior Bumble granvar meyar RFCP, x RFCP granvar meyar Prior Bumble. 

Erat ipso sacra.

Declaration of Victory–The Outsiders War

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: RFCP officially declares victory in the Outsiders War after several judges rule in their favor, ending the conflict in Templars defeat.

Hello, Recon Federation of Club Penguin!

On September 23, 2020 the oh so pathetic, Templars, declared a “5th Holy War” on RFCP. They did this claiming to be “standing up against bullying,” but I’m sure former Templar, ot_ter, a thirteen-year-old they bully for leaving TCP after she acknowledged their toxicity and brainwashing, strongly disagrees with the claim that Templars are anti-bullying. I’m sure Rowan, who Xing called a “f–ggot,” strongly agrees with that claim that Templars are anti-bullying (read more on that below). Overall, it seems this war didn’t go exactly as you planned, did it, Allissa? Did it, Xing? Did it, Luca? Did it, Templars? These were the original terms you proposed for the war:

The original war terms

As should be widely known in the community, armies cannot restrict when other armies schedule battles against them in war. This shows how truly little the leaders of Templars know about how armies work. They lack the intelligence that we hold. We deemed term “2.” and term “3.” invalid.

The first battle of the war took place on September 26, where Rowan Alden/Wikiboy was chosen as the judge. At the time, Wikiboy was an advisor for both armies. Pics of the battle and the judge decision will be shown below:

“I declared my verdict. RFCP win. That’s that.”

Following the battle, Templars “shadow leader” Xing threw a fit, fired Wikiboy from his position as Templars advisor, and called him a very derogatory, disrespectful term.

“Anti-bullying”
And yet Xing says I’m shadow leading.

On September 28, we had a second battle with the Templars, this time judged by CPAWL judges. One of which, was a Templars advisor:

“We.” “We.” “We.” Haha.

Despite request, CPAWL never reviewed this battle. They decided that the battle that followed this one had biased judging, but despite the same Templars advisor judging this one, there was no suspicion of bias for this battle. This battle was judged by a Templar. We personally see this battle as null, but respect the fact that CPAWL recognizes it as a Templars victory.

While the third battle of this war, taking place on September 30, was originally dubbed a Templars victory, this was later reviewed due to the fact that a Templars advisor was chosen to judge. CoolGuy, CPAWL CEO, stated that this was a clear RFCP victory. Templars refuses to accept this and has continued to lie to their troops claiming that they won this battle.

RFCP W

In the fourth battle of this war, which took place on October 2, the Templars failed to show up, forfeiting the battle. This resulted in an RFCP victory. I guess Ice Warriors can’t log on during the week. Hahahaha!

Finally, taking place on October 3 (my birthday muhahaha), we were set to once again battle Templars. RFCP logged on, Xing logged on, Ice Warriors logged on. Templars failed to give us the rooms for the battle. As you may know, it is tradition for the scheduling army to decide rooms. Templars leaders claimed that the new RFCP Commander, Coolj, had all of them blocked. This was completely untrue and they provided zero evidence of it being true. For this battle, Xing refused to use CPAWL judges, as the staff had caught onto the fact that their advisors and Xing’s friends were judging battles and put a stop to it. Cobra was chosen as the judge for this battle, not by RFCP, but by Templars. He had this to say:

I decided to investigate further into this, thinking that it’s entirely possible that this was done on purpose, this is what I discovered from asking a very close friend of Xing, and the judge of this battle, Cobra:

Templars forgot to give us the rooms intentionally. Sad.

Now, after reviewing every battle, it is clear the score of this war is 4-1 (or 5-0) in favor of the Recon Federation of Club Penguin. Nice try, Templars. Nice try, Allissa. You failed. You’ve never been able to beat us, and you never will.

Templars later edited their terms without informing anyone in RFCP. We didn’t agree to abide to their original terms, and we never planned on agreeing to any of the new ones.

Lots of what was talked about in this post was also discussed in our last blog post created by RFCP Reporter MicrowavableHamster!

Upon our victory, RFCP will be recognizing any further battles scheduled by Templars as invalid and irrelevant until December 1, 2020. Templars can continue to lie to their troops and claim victory, but the judge’s decisions say otherwise. The media will say otherwise. History will say otherwise. The CPA Wiki has agreed to acknowledge the judge-supported war score at the publication of this post as the final score and an RFCP victory in the war. Congratulations to all our soldiers, and congratulations to Coolj on leading RFCP to victory in his first war as leader.

We have secured a first war victory for you, and we have defended the honor of Commander Prior Bumble.

RFCP Victory.

Cena, RFCP Head Advisor

The Outsiders War Battle Updates: Templars Devastated by RFCP

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: After CPAWL CEO steps in to address judging bias, TCP no-shows battle 4, and fails to provide rooms for the fifth battle, RFCP gains massive 4-1-0 lead in the war.

The Templars of Club Penguin (TCP) appear to be crumbling under the pressure of RFCP. Unfortunately, due to their hicom’s lies, many of the soldiers of TCP are being left in the dark about their poor performance in the Outsiders War.

Battle 1:

26 SEPTEMBER 2020 – 08:00 pm EDT

RFCP kicked off the Outsiders War with a bang and several surprises (you can read about the battle in full detail here). After a rigorous overtime, where Prior Bumble surprise-appeared to rally RFCP spirits, it was announced that RFCP had won the battle. Templars hicom promptly lied about their win in the first battle of the war.

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Battle 1 of the Outsiders WAR
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credits to MicroHamster
This never gets old

Battle 2:

28 September 2020 – 08:00 pm EDT

The second battle was a very close one; RFCP battled tirelessly with TCP into another overtime, but in the end, RFCP came up just short of the win. Could bias have been in play? We certainly like to think so; seeing as Popcorny/Mattsr (TCP advisor) was judging.

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RFCP CALLING TCP LEADERS OUT FOR LYING TO THEIR TROOPS ABOUT THE RESULTS OF THE FIRST BATTLE
The (biased) Verdict
A SOURCE CLOSE TO TCP HAD THIS TO SAY ABOUT THE BATTLE RESULT

Due to the clear bias in judging, RFCP views this battle as a draw, leading the score of the war to RFCP 1-1-0.

Battle 3:

30 SEPTEMBER 2020 – 08:00 pm EDT

Apparently, members of RFCP aren’t the only ones getting tired of the biases when it comes to judgement of our battles. After the third battle in the Outsiders War, again barreling into overtime, showed clear bias in the judgement, the validity of the result was brought into question with a startling revelation that would change everything.

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RFCP WAR FACES
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IN A HILARIOUS MOVE, RFCP WALKED YELLOW PUFFLES INTO BATTLE AND LED TACTICS SUCH AS: ‘WE BROUGHT THE TEMPLARS’ AND ‘TEMPLARS HAVE FLEAS’
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ONE OF THE MORE HUMOROUS TACTICS RFCP DID WAS ‘XING CLOSE YOUR TABS’
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THE TACTIC WAS IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED BY MEMBERS OF RFCP REMOVING THEIR YELLOW PUFFLES AND SAYING ‘XING CLOSED HIS TABS’

Humor aside, the battle was fast paced with clever tactics and sharp formations for RFCP, once again pushed into overtime. It seemed to be an obvious win until:

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THE (BIASED) VERDICT

RFCP was, understandably, outraged with the results, and it brought forth again the question of bias in the judging of our battles. Thankfully, we weren’t the only ones who thought this was the case. The battle footage was put up for review to Coolguy, CEO of the war’s governing league, and a new verdict was issued:

THE FINAL VERDICT

With the new verdict from an uninvolved and unbiased judge, RFCP gained even more ground with a score of RFCP 2-1-0 in the Outsiders War.

Battle 4:

2 OCTOBER 2020 – 07:59:57 pm EDT

RFCP showed up prepared for our 4th battle with TCP. Apparently the Templars had other plans, because when the time came for the battle to commence, RFCP stood alone on the field.

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“Where is TCP” indeed

Perhaps the Templars were afraid of being destroyed again in the war they declared on RFCP with promises of “not just sitting back” and “putting us in our place”.

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Photo taken from the Templars’ DECLARATION of war BLOG. What else are you lying about Templars? WE’RE WAITING.

Or, maybe, there is more to the story. Did Sha and SupremeP0wer (aka LuckyLuigi–the very user who doxxed Shallissa and her eight-year-old sister, as well as many others) let the Templars crumble while they had a date night? Did Xing need the time to make more alts for his multis? No, readers, unfortunately the trembling Templars decided not to show to last night’s battle because their leaders lied again.

“GOT IT WRONG,” OR LIED TO COVER THE TRUTH?

There was, in fact, a battle last night, dear Templars. Sadly, due to your hicom’s lack of morals, you lost by default giving RFCP a now 3-1-0 lead in the Outsiders War.

The truth behind the fourth battle is actually much more pathetic than having a momentary memory loss and forgetting to post about the battle.

The original terms set by the Templars are as follows:

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Photo from the CPAH blog about the war
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confirmation that these are the terms screenshotted from TCP’s blog

However, shortly after Commander CoolJ set a schedule for last night’s battle, The Templars took it upon themselves to add a new term to the battle arrangements without telling anyone:

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Check out the new Rule Number 3

This new term adopted by the Templars, only after RFCP had scheduled a battle, would have been an automatic loophole win for TCP in the war; seeing that RFCP had scheduled a battle and thus, broke the laughable new term. Sadly, for the Templars, CPAH did not honor their ridiculous new term and the battle went underway without the presence of the timid Templars.

Don’t worry, TCP, we made sure there was a little yellow on the battlefield for you
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E1-E2 alt – shoutout to LEGOMAN
RFCP surrounds Legoman for a few tactics
THE VERDICT

Thanks for the easy win, TCP!

Battle 5:

3 OCTOBER 2020 – 08:00 pm EDT

In an interesting turn of events, after yet another display of dishonesty and cheating by TCP, RFCP won the fifth battle of the Outsiders War without even having to battle!

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IMAGINE BEING SCARED AND NOT GIVING THE OTHER ARMY ROOMS 😉

Yes, you read that right, Templars leaders neglected to give rooms to RFCP. Therefore, the battle was declared a RFCP victory.

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The Templars even attempted to lie to Cobra and say that coolj had them all “blocked.” Fact check–coolj shares a server with them, did not block any of them, and even asked for rooms two minutes beforehand.

We are sure Templars leaders will once again lead their soldiers into a false sense of security by claiming RFCP are cowards, and claim that we are losing the war. However, unlike TCP, we have the facts and screenshots on our side. As you can see, the actual battle results have led RFCP to a 4-1-0 lead in the Outsiders War.

After the Templars’ embarrassing display at last evening’s battle (that apparently even LuckyLuigi was too ashamed to bother attending), RFCP decided to celebrate by having a nice laugh at the expense of TCP with varying memes:

Credits to Cena
No description available.
Credits to PAPERBACK Adia
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Credits to MicroHamster
CreditS to Sillabye, who hails from Canada
Credits to Ariel Aries
Credits to JustinTFC
Credits to Shy Guy
Credits to DJChorusKid

GG, RFCP victory. You mad?

Stay mad.

Reporter

RFCP Celebrates National Coffee Day with CoffeeBean!

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: The army spotlights officer CoffeeBean on National Coffee Day with interviews and puns.

29 September 2020, was National Coffee Day! To celebrate, I sat down to chat with our beloved Col. CoffeeBean (who is an avid blog reader <3) and several of our RFCP members. Later, we met up in the Coffee Shop for a nice, warm, cup of coffee with CoffeeBean and a game of Bean Counters.

For National Coffee Day, it seemed obvious that I should turn to RFCP’s resident expert on coffee, CoffeeBean, who was more than excited to sit down for a blog interview:

MicroHamster(M): Why did you choose the name CoffeeBean?
CoffeeBean (C): Well, my original user was Willow7204 (that’s the name I oathed under). One day I was on vc (voice chat) when I decided to change it, and asked for suggestions and someone said CoffeeBean, so I put ‘LilCoffeeBean’. Not long after, I took off the ‘lil’ part.


M: Do you actually like coffee though?
C: Yes, I like Coffee. I am not able to drink it as often as I’d like though.

M: How do you like to drink your coffee when you do have it?
C: I usually have breakfast blend with a couple spoons of sugar and hazelnut creamer. During the holidays when the “almond joy” creamer is out, I like to use that creamer, with no sugar.

M: We’re in the fall season, so I have to ask, what are your thoughts on pumpkin spice?
C: I have never tried any pumpkin spice drink before. The closest thing has to be apple cider (as a fall drink), and I love that.

Following the interview, members of RFCP logged on for a visit to the Coffee Shop with CoffeeBean to hang out and have a game of Bean Counters. We maxed 6 and had a latte of fun.

I reached out to several members of RFCP throughout the day to get them to espresso their feelings for Colonel CoffeeBean. As predicted, everyone jumped at the opportunity to praise our dearest CoffeeBean:

“Definition of coffee: a beverage to wake you up in the morning and a person that puts a smile on a shy guy. Coffee ilysm and I’m not sure I’d meet anyone as great as you <3”
– Colonel Shy Guy

“Ily Coffee!”
– Mikan

“We love coffee :3”
– JustinTFC

“What can i say bout Coffee… she’s a very warm and hardworking person. She cares about others and tries her best to help em out sometimes even forgetting bout herself. She helped me when I was on a hard period, she was always there when I needed some help for sumthin or some kind of advice. Huge thanks comes from your friend Dole and happy National Coffee Day, CoffeBean!!!”
– Dolepie

“Coffee is one of the hardest working and most dedicated members of the RFCP. She cares so much for the RFCP and the RFCP cares so much for her. I am very blessed and lucky to call her one of my closets friends!”
– Colonel Sillabye

“Well coffee was my assigned penguin buddy when I joined with cookie, so she’s probably the penguin I talk to the most (excluding cookie obviously). Coffee is extremely trustworthy and approachable on any matter, and has demonstrated to me that anything said in DM says private. She is always humble enough to admit errors and strives for self improvement. Coffee has earned my full trust in her ability to handle any issue I have, or hear out my complaints and rants, especially now that Prior is retired. My only complaint is her attempt to usurp the name Blue in chat recently (referring to our game of Among Us in the server). There can be only one Blue in RFCP, and that’s me.”
– Blueback


“I’d give her hazelnut iced coffee in a heart beat.”
– Field Marshal Joshafter

“I know that Blue & Coffee are closer than I am to her, so he will have better things to say, but I can take a stab at it: Coffee is a wonderful friend and is always there for you if you need her. She is trustworthy and sweet. I really appreciate how much she does for RFCP as an army, but also as a comrade who looks out for others. She is one of the strongest members that I know. She makes people feel welcome and is a true gem. I am grateful for having met her.”
– Cookie

“Reminder: I love you and so do a lot of us. You are loved, you are important, you are appreciated, you are smart, you are funny, you are amazing, you are beautiful. Best start believing in it or else you get the broom.”
– Colonel Anilia


Happy National Coffee Day to CoffeeBean and all of you brew-tiful coffee fanatics out there!

Reporter-In-Training