Defense of Yukon from RPF

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA: RFCP defends CPAH server Yukon from unprovoked RPF aggression.

RFCP suspicions rose when, on August 3rd, a TCP scheduled invasion of Yukon was deleted moments after and replaced with an RPF invasion of Yukon.

“I was in the middle of an interview with CPAH about TCP invading Yukon, when both the reporter and I saw the change in armies and raised our eyebrows,” said Prior Bumble.

Although RPF 1ic crazzy denies it and says RPF was going to invade RFCP anyway (for what reason??), screenshots from TCP “imperator” ccrocket made it clear that RPF was doing the dirty work for Xing and TCP, the most toxic army in the community.

So, today, RFCP mustered a strong defense of Yukon with assistance by new allies, EFCP. Together, we maxed 31. But with RPF drumming up a max in the 90s, RFCP suffered from room lockouts. Nearly half our forces could not access the battle rooms. Nonetheless, creative and quick leading ensured RFCP was visible and forceful.


RFCP battle-cried with E+T upon arrival and clashed with RPF’s big-word tactics of “RPFOWNS RPFOWNS RPFOWNS RPFOWNS.” Prior ordered an inverted V formation while the ruddy dark colors of RPF crowded down at the chat bar in a backwards L. Both sides furled insults and moved. RFCP then deployed a \ formation and rapid-fired emojis while RPF crisscrossed the room with two horizontal and one vertical line.


RPF formed an A in this room while RFCP cut across the wide field in a horizontal line. Jabs heated up as RPF accused RFCP of troopstealing and RFCP called out RPF for helping the Templars, exercising tyranny, and oppressing the league. RFCP then moved to line the beach in an upside down T. According to CPAH reporter Scorpion Demon,

The Rebels replied quickly by moving to bomb the room themselves, and then moved into their enemy’s formation, successfully covering them and their tactics. Recon Federation moved out of this surprisingly well, displaying an exquisite circular bomb

Scorpion Demon, from his battle review.

Called a “blender” in RFCP, this clockwise EF vortex switched to counter-clockwise E6 and hypnotically captured attention in the center of the room as RPF remained stagnant. Then, in response to RPF’s tactic, “REBEL PENGUIN FEDERATION,” RFCP replied, “YES, THAT’S YOUR NAME. GOOD JOB!” The final formation for RFCP was an = sign, spamming EK. This makes three formation changes by RFCP to RPF’s two.


The iceberg demanded adaption. During the opening bomb, Prior thought he saw RPF beginning to claim the coveted surround formation on the berg and ordered a responsive X formation to occupy center. As the bubbles faded, it became clear that RPF was in fact making an X as well, which merged into an infinity sign, and RFCP quickly adjusted to counter the X with a +. Prior attempted to take the surround formation after a waterfall, but RPF copied, and RFCP moved out into the center once more in an X formation. RFCP commented that RPF’s dark uniform looked like dirty snow on the pure white berg. At the battle’s close, the tactics from both armies became more ominous. RPF said, “THIS IS NOT THE END,” and RFCP said, “HIDDEN MESSAGES IN YOUR ARTICLES,” causing some to pause and question the sinister meaning of this.


RFCP was not surprised that RPF was ruled the victor of each room–there seldom is much any army can do against RPF’s decade-built numbers. But RFCP’s tactics were fast and more creative. We challenge CPAH reporters to be more evidence-based in their quick assumption that the triumphant army was “faster.” Do you have the numbers to prove this? Do you calculate? RFCP did three emotes in the forts by the time RPF did only one. Just because an army won does not automatically mean they were “faster,” even though that makes for easy reporting to assume. RPF takes Yukon, but RFCP is still the army that monumentally shakes servers while RPF sleepwalks through CPAH.

“Maybe next time when we get some other judges that might be looking at tactics and not size.”

RFCP Reporter, Da Best

Erat ipso sacra.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Signature-Prior-Bumble.png

One Response


Leave a Reply to KrispyYeetCancel reply

%d bloggers like this: