Recon Federation of Club Penguin

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA–*Criminal investigators burst through the door.*

Crime!

It’s afoot. How on earth did the filth of illicit financial activity breach the Recon Federation of Club Penguin (RFCP)?

During the past 48 hours, three counterfeit Bumble Bucks (BB) have circulated the server.

It all began with someone trying to cash in a regular $1,000 BB bill vandalized with purple worms and a new photo.

The next depicts Red Baron Exsavitator on a “$2,000” bill in a spoof of the legit $1,000 BB bill also featuring a Red Baron.

Notice how this counterfeit bill is tricky and presents very closely as a real bill! It parodies all the requirements of officializing a Bumble Buck, such as including the Commander’s signature. Instead, this (rather attractive, we admit) bill has Exsavitator’s signature. It does have the correct motto, date, and Treasury designation, however. Why the hell is there a shark?

The third counterfeit bill is even more dangerous:

One hundred billion Bumble Bucks?! You could buy so many Nitros and RFCP mugs for that! What chaos would ensue having that much wealth on a singular bill?!

“It is concerning, of course,” said Commander Prior Bumble, “to think these bills might impact our economy. But it’s also wonderful to see their creativity…I love our soldiers making fan art of the army. Hell, I might even have to consider using my authority one day to legitimize at least the not-crazy one [er, the one that isn’t one hundred billion, we assume he meant].”

The Bank of RFCP has not accepted any of these bills, but naturally, such criminal activity must still be cracked down upon. The Blog Bureau of Investigation (BBI), which we made up just today for this incidence, has been hard at work. The following is a transcript of the interrogation that took place in the DMs of Exsavitator:

BBI: *burst in door* *flashes badge* Prior Bumble, BBI. We need to ask a few questions about the counterfeit bill.

EXSAVITATOR: huh? what counterfeit bill. what’s counterfeit. what kind of bill. who am I?

BBI: Don’t worry. We know you didn’t do it because you are a perfect RFCP angel. We just want to know who you THINK did it.

EXSAVITATOR: hmmmm. me. no i mean. killua. Prior. uhhhh. the bro? ignore the first one on the list

BBI: Killupriotrailz.

We’ll be on the lookout. Thank you.

EXSAVITATOR: alr. I’ll just sit here with my 100 billion bumble bucks bill. I mean what, you heard anything?

BBI: No but we are ALL OVER IT don’t worry

EXSAVITATOR: sweats profusely

BBI: You poor thing. We know you’re nervous about this but don’t worry, we’re going to take care of it so you can keep being the perfect little RFCP angel that you are <3

EXSAVITATOR: uhhh- yea I- uhhh…OK FINE I DID IT. YOU GOT ME.

BBI: No, no, son, the stress is getting to you. We know you are innocent <3

EXSAVITATOR: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

So, as you can see, the BBI still has not found the perpetrator of the counterfeit money. This investigation, making full and efficient use of tax-payer dollars, may take weeks. Months. Even years.

If YOU have any information about these black market bills, or if YOU see anyone using them for suspicious deposits or activity, leave a comment below!

Filed under: Uncategorized