The Latest Marines…Declaration?

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA–What happens when you get the Commander to sign a document he can’t read?

A few weeks ago, Conq. Don, 3ic of the Recon Federation of Club Penguin (RFCP), tried to convince Commander Prior Bumble to sign a document the Commander couldn’t read. It was written entirely in Spanish. On one hand, this seemed reasonably normal as Don is the head of the RFCP Marines, our Spanish-speaking division. On the other hand…the document was a photo and therefore Prior was unable to copy its text and paste it into an online translator.

A highly entertaining conversation ensued.

The Conquistador insisted that Prior trust him and just sign the document.

The Commander asked only two questions beforehand:

  1. Is the document handing over my command?
  2. Is the document affirming [the justness] of any of our enemies?

When Don replied no to both, Prior said:

And that’s how this abomination was ratified in Marines history on July 25, 2023…

CONTEXT: If you don’t know by now, our beloved Ecuadorian officer is obsessed with actress Ashley Greene from Twilight (2008). The document which he persuaded the Commander to sign declared Ms. Greene as the matriarch of the Marines division.



Here’s what Conq. Don had to say about it:

El 25 de Julio del 2023, se llevó acabo la firma de un documento de vital importancia para la división de los Marines de la RFCP. En este documento se nombra a Ashley Greene la “mommy” de los Marines. Pero ¿qué significa exactamente esto? Como todos sabrán, yo, Don contraje matrimonio con ella en una ceremonia de Ukahala. Además, por mi rango de Conquistador, es mi deber volverme una figura a los que los soldados de habla hispana puedan aspirar a ser. Pero también requieren una figura femenina la cual los motive e inspire a continuar luchando. Es por eso que le concedió bajo el permiso del comandante en jefe Prior Bumble, el título de Mommy de los Marines.

Conquistador Don, M.S., RFCP Marines

Translation: On July 25, 2023, the signing of a document of vital importance for the Marine division of the RFCP took place. This document names Ashley Greene the “mommy” of the Marines. But what exactly does this mean? As you all know, I, Don married her in a Ukahala ceremony. Furthermore, because of my rank as a Conquistador, it is my duty to become a figure that Spanish-speaking soldiers can aspire to be. But they also require a feminine figure which motivates and inspires them to continue fighting. That is why he granted her, under the permission of Commander-in-Chief Prior Bumble, the title of Mommy of the Marines.

We at the blog asked Prior Bumble for comment. He gave a long pause before answering.

What do YOU think of this…strange Marines declaration? 😉 Let us know in the comments!

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