Recon Federation of Club Penguin

Have a seat, let me get my cigar.

*puffs*

All right. Welcome. Our fireside chats are usually an overhaul of a myriad of events that have transpired over a short period of time and the blog cannot keep up. Here are the contents for this chat:

1. Shock Troops’ Second Merge into RFCP
2. Jamie Becomes New Red Baron
3. Find Four Raid
4. Moshi’s Coup from LGA
5. Other Shenanigans

Needless to say, we will not be discussing the hate which continues to be flung at me and the army. We stand. We do not fall. And we continue to forgive those who offend.

1. Shock Troops’ Second Merge into RFCP

Sh’ock sum nuvar! RFCP welcomed the Shock Troop mergers into the army. The decision came a couple weeks after Cena endowed Zucculente with the revival perms for the army, which operated in both CPW and CPAM during its lifetime. I received a direct message from Zucc on April 14, 2020, letting me know that the army was closing and that they’d be open to discussing a merge.

The transition was covered by CPAM, and since the news site has recently shared a friendly rapport with RFCP blog, linking to our articles in their posts, we will do the same.

As we did in November during the first merge, RFCP embraced the new soldiers and planned a weekend of unity events, including an in-house practice battle where Zucc led OG RFCP and I led the mergers.

Since, two of the stormy new RFCP members have already received service medals in the army. We use this platform to give the new soldiers a shout out one last time to let them know they’re loved:

2. Jamie Becomes New Red Baron

Making a powerful entry into RFCP after weeks of consideration, Jamie, former CPW admin alongside me, joined the army as Red Baron. Red Baron is the EU equivalent of General in RFCP, making Jamie’s rank 3ic. The decision was celebrated with raucous esteem.

“He deserves it,” said one RFCP soldier, CoffeeBean. “He deserves it and he’s a great Red Baron.”

I can’t articulate how perfect Jamie is for RFCP. He barged into #command-room like he’s been RFCP for years. He’s got the grit, the savagery, the work ethic, and the good heart that defines RFCP hicom. There is no one in this entire community I’d rather have leading my Air Force right now than him.

Jamie also made a splash in foreign affairs. At the encouragement of his fellow officers, the new Red Baron recently took a leak on the People’s Imperial Confederation (PIC) flag, giving crying spasms to the commies over in their server. PIC, which I’m petitioning be renamed the “RFCP Support Group,” is made up almost entirely of ex-RFCP who have lied and backstabbed us. It’s currently the second most viewed video on our YouTube.

Atta boy, brother.

3. Find Four Raid

Speaking of PIC, RFCP executed its most organized raid in history during PIC’s Find Four tournament. Conducted by RFCP’s Raid Ghost division head known only as “the Phantom,” soldiers logged onto the server where PIC planned their tournament. We then occupied all the Find Four spots and refused to make moves, embargoing PIC from their event. When PIC switched servers, so did we, and agents split up to locate them in seconds. We even did the same to mancala when PIC attempted to change games. Finally, RFCP made sure to force themselves into all the max photos.

The raid was so successful, two soldiers were awarded the Medal of the Specter.

4. Moshi’s Coup from LGA

Round two of coups, eh?

LGA announced today that Moshi, loyal partner to Carole Baskin Kailey, has been couped from power by his former comrades.

Dino declared in all caps that Moshi was BANISHED from LGA.

RFCP considers this a victory, as Dino’s post cited the coup partially to the pressure RFCP’s raids applied to the limes since early April. I reached out to Dino upon hearing of this overthrow.

Good riddance.

5. Other Shenanigans

Elsewhere, RFCP has been enjoying life and putting on a plethora of fun, random events. Here are a few!

RFCP Titanic event:

Earth Day gardening:

Coolj and Gianna’s Spongebob Wedding:

RFCP soldiers pull a little prank on me before the officer oath ceremony:

Card-Jitsu Tournament with PZF:

Officer Retreat, ending with a game of Scribblio:

Nudist Event:

Conclusion

*flicks ashes off cigar*

My churchill is just about smoked to the stub. I end this fireside chat as always by giving strength to my troops–remember who you are, and why you matter. You are a soldier. You are brave. You belong here.

And hey, you know they still call us a cult…

We don’t mind anymore.

RFCP still standing.

Erat ipso sacra.

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