BREAKING! RFCP Enters the Brutusian War

Posted on February 19, 2020 by priorbumble1

Roman-RFCP relations have never been positive.

In October, the Roman leader, SMURF, joined belligerents in raiding Prior Bumble and Side9’s matrimony, hollering obscenities that went beyond teasing and into a realm of truly violent and disgusting sexual and racial language. They never actually made a return that autumn, and closed before setting sandals on the ground. When CPW opened, SMURF engaged in some trolling of the league, but promptly disappeared. In every instance, Prior and Smurf would reconcile in DMs, always with Prior’s trademark forgiveness, and the cycle would repeat.

This February, the Romans revived yet again under the same leadership as those from the raid–Smurf and Zaidimai (also known as Games). Joining their ranks as well as counselors are Eden and ex-RFCP Uncle, Cob. Dino and Arthaeus are their 2ics. But most troubling of all is their choice of a 3ic–Cabin.

Cabin, an ex-General of the RFCP, co-founded the hate group “Fuck Prior” with Kailey. In said group, RFCP flags were burned, fanfic was written about shooting Prior in the head, members laughed at the realization that DatBoiRiven faked his death, and they traded stories of “times they made Prior cry.”

When Cabin left RFCP, he snapped. He was a good and kind officer here. Prior encouraged and loved him (does the Commander ever lightly make someone a General?). The amount of insanity that ensured after his departure in the forms of trolling, raiding, working alongside villains, and terrorizing our server on alts was like a totally different person. He failed to found his own army. Since, he’s hopped from Light Troops to Templars to ACP to CPO to Romans and back ’round we go.

Now, ZCA, RFCP’s intelligence division, has strong evidence to suggest that Cabin organized Monday’s appalling raid of our innocent training event:

Other pictures will not be shown here, but explicit and gross comments were made to RFCP minors among other obscenities.

Although he was not present, Prior was enraged at what his soldiers endured.

CSY, the new ACP leader, who surprisingly shares a very cordial relationship with the Commander, gave RFCP more reason to believe that it was Cabin.

Prior met the Roman leaders in a group chat and demanded there be a demotion of Cabin, or else war would be the response. The Romans originally agreed, but then pushed back when Cabin declared innocence.

Prior didn’t buy it.

When Prior wouldn’t back down, the insults at him were slung, accusing him of egoism (which he proudly accepts) and for making “shitty ass decisions” in his career (which he trolled with Jim Bob emotes).

As war seemed more and more imminent, both armies intensified focus on each other. In the Romans server, before being banned, Prior searched the chat logs for his own name. What came up were pages of Romans leaders shit talking him and making fun of him. Cob, who’d sworn as an Uncle to defend RFCP from hate rhetoric, stood passively and watched. At that point, the war came to be about more than the raid.

The war became a long-awaited justification for months of Roman disrespect and vulgarity towards the Recon Federation.

“We are going to shed blood that is long overdue,” said Commander Prior, “and a long debt to us will finally be paid.”

But the Romans evaded war as much as they could. In CPW, an army must have at least one server in order to wage official war. CPW staff gave the fresh army their leader roles, but the #schedule-invasions channel, which offered plenty of freeland servers to sweep up, remained untouched.

Indeed, Dino and his Roman comrades have been using RFCP’s “Eventmas” marathon–a fun and chaotic 75 events-in-two-weeks festival organized by Lt. Sillabye–to chastise low RFCP turnouts.

“Of course we’re going to have maxes of 4 or 5 at trainings when there are 3 trainings a day every day for two weeks,” said Prior. “We’re spreading ourselves thin purposefully. But it’s been said many times: RFCP is a war army.”

Finally, Commander Prior refused to keep waiting for the “cowards” to claim a free server and accept the war.

He transferred RFCP’s own server, Baskin Robbins (CPW), to the Romans and declared an invasion on it instantly after.

Some in the army were concerned by this move, and others thought it was bad ass and savage.

(Prior refers to his hard copy book, a work in progress, titled The Complete History of Club Penguin Armies.)

The war name, “The Brutusian War,” refers to Marcus Junius Brutus, the Roman Republic senator who murdered Caesar in 44 B.C. Much in the vein of RFCP’s thirst for Roman defeat.

Because we love warmongering propaganda, below is a photograph of a delicious alcoholic beverage called a Bloody Roman. Yum!