NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA–For the trolls who make absolute fools of themselves in our Portal server, a special channel called #you-tried memorializes the hilarity forever. Exclusive interview below!
For more than a year now, all public invite links to the Recon Federation of Club Penguin (RFCP) lead to the Portal server (often abbreviated to just “Portal”). In Portal, newcomers are vetted before gaining clearance into the main server. This means all kinds arrive through Portal’s doors…authentic recruits and trolls alike.
The Portal server is maintained primarily by members of the Priortorian Guard–the official bodyguards of Commander Prior Bumble. Prior is absent from Portal as a measure of protection. But recently, Prior brieflyjoined the server, and he noticed a channel called #you-tried. Turns out this channel is a place where screenshots of trolls–ones who make absolute buffoonery in their attempts to join RFCP–are posted, offering a good laugh for the hardworking soldiers who screen the accounts.
Here are some of the highlights from the #you-tried channel, sure to make our readers LOL as well:
see* myself out, but we also hope you find yourself, Rukki.
To really understand this fantastic feature of Portal, we sat down with the one-star Gen. Microwaveable Hamster, M.M., who screens incoming accounts and is the current Division Head of the Priortorian Guard.
Q: When was the channel made?
A: The channel was created on August 8th of last year (2022). It was brought on after several failed attempts of Club Penguin Army (CPA) [community] members trying to join our server by using alts. Some of the attempts were pretty hilarious, so the channel was created to memorialize them.
Q: How did the channel get its name?
A: The name was set to “you-tried”, [named] after this emote. We would send [the emote] after people failed in their attempts at joining.
Q: Being in the Priortorian Guard can be pretty troubling work sometimes. Does this channel offer some rare occasions to laugh on the job?
A: It absolutely does. The lengths people will go through to lie and try to gain access to our server is hilarious at times. My personal favorite is the Water Viking that tried to join while having a link advertising the Water Vikings in their “about me”.
Q: Lmaooo. So what advice do you have for people joining Portal who DON’T want to end up in the #you-tried channel?
A: I have two points of advice for this. The first is to just be honest with us. We are very in depth with our admissions to RFCP, so it’s very easy to get caught in a lie–trust me, I’ve seen several people talk themselves in circles. My second bit of advice is to leave us alone, and ask yourself why you want to be in the RFCP server so badly that you go through the trouble of making an alt account and telling a series of lies, just to gain access. We aren’t bothering anyone, so please stop bothering us. And if you do bother us anyways, at least make it something we can put in the channel and laugh at months from now.
And clearly we do. The Portal invite is live on the “Join” tab of this website, and pinned to the top of our blog. If you’re a troll, do think twice before clicking it. We’ve got a channel just to make fun of your attempts!
Which troll attempt do YOU think has been the funniest? Let us know in the comments!
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