BLIZZARD, AOW225–Reporting live from Blizzard server, AoW225, the blog delivers a full and exciting recap of the army’s first real battle against a foreign rival in over a year.
November 6, 2022–the day everyone in the Recon Federation of Club Penguin (RFCP) had been waiting for. All the trainings, account creations, and, of course, merciless server pings built up to this moment. Using RFCP’s very own Club Penguin private server (cpps) meant for battling, AoW225, the army faced off against the Mystery Army of Club Penguin (MACP).
Before things kicked off, the Discord server coursed with adrenaline.
Commander Prior Bumble, per tradition, delivered a brief battle speech–because the clock was ticking down fast to :00.
And just like that–it was time.
MACP, dressed in orange bullfighter attire, logged on at 4:00 p.m. Eastern with a max of 5 penguins. Their accounts were given anonymous usernames (Macp 1 through Macp 5) to protect them from the backlash CPA would surely give them for interacting with us. RFCP showed up with 8 soldiers waiting at the Pet Shop and ready to brawl.
The rooms the two armies clashed in were the Pool, the Iceberg, and the Boiler Room. Let’s dive into the report!
Pool
While Cmdr. Prior originally slated the Fire Dojo to open the battle, both MACP and RFCP soldiers experienced difficulties accessing it. So, the battle restarted at :05 and replaced the Fire Dojo with the Pool. RFCP music (E+T) bombed noisily, and then quickly formed a horizontal inside the water. As MACP continued to trickle in, RFCP taunted with a “WHERE’S THE REST OF YOU?” tactic. MACP announced themselves, impromptu, as the Mariachi Amigos, and then fell into a waterfall charge. RFCP responded by adopting the same charge, drowning them out with blue puffle (E+P) emotes. When MACP took a / formation, RFCP countered with \, and the contest continued. MACP performed a pleasing strawberry/chocolate ice cream alt display while RFCP proceeded to shout “NACHOS KNOCKOFFS LOL” Soon, it was MAPS UP!
Berg
RFCP and MACP both bombed into the sacred ground. RFCP fired out grinning (E+1) emojis while MACP exploded with ! emotes. As advised by Prior Bumble’s Art of Warfare strategy, the RFCP rushed to take the “high ground,” deploying a pinpoint formation to surround the iceberg. A volley of varying emotes followed–coins, igloos, and the likes. Meanwhile, MACP executed what was probably their best counteroffensive–securing the middle ground and radiating with a cluster of bright red hearts. RFCP then hastened into a blender maneuver (counterclockwise rotation) while spouting pizza emojis. They morphed into a V formation. MACP shouted tactics in Spanish and bunched on the aqua grabber vehicle, but when it saw RFCP’s latest shape, it hurried into an | formation, slicing down the center of the V. Alternating emojis followed until the final room approached.
Boiler Room
The boiler room poses tighter quarters for quarreling. RFCP entered with a rainbow bomb (soldiers may fire any emoji, which creates a thunderstorm of colors) and then lined up at the chat bar. When it attacked with word tactics such as “RECON FEDERATION OF CLUB PENGUIN” and “ERAT IPSO SACRA,” MACP critiqued the originality. “REUSING TACTICS, TYPICAL” it cried. RFCP’s reply to that was a swift flower rake which showered amber flowers onto the yellow floor. It then attempted to converge into an O formation, but lost its footing–the shape was sloppy, and the Commander ordered that the army “bomb out of it,” shooting off lightbulb (E+B) emotes. The remainder of the battle included jests at MACP’s varying degree of clothing (one soldier had none) and resemblance to Garfield the tabby cat. MACP ended the feud with “ADIOS” as RFCP bombed with “GG.”
Conclusion
RFCP held a +2 advantage over the MACP in each room. While each side stumbled with the awkwardness of a new environment and brand-new opponent, RFCP arrived at each room more punctually, perhaps enjoying a homefield advantage. MACP succeeded in dishing out more complicated word tactics, but got eaten up regularly by RFCP’s stronger forms and dexterity. Even when RFCP botched a form in the last room, Commander Prior’s skillful leadership avoided disaster. Overall, MACP offered a good fight, but RFCP seems to emerge ahead.
“Congratulations to all who attended,” the Commander commented. “It had its difficulties. But what could be a more authentic wartime experience than that?”
What did YOU think of the battle? Are YOU excited to be back in action? Let us know in the comments!
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