State of the Federation

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA–From the desk of Commander Prior Bumble, the 1ic delivers a report on the state of the Federation since his return.

Sons and Daughters,

I pour a glass of brandy (E&J Grand Blue, to be exact) and issue a State of the Federation address on how the Recon Federation of Club Penguin is doing since my return on June 5, 2022.

As the hour draws late, some of you will read this on Thursday, the day my weekly blog post is supposed to release, and some who have already gone to bed will catch up on it Friday. That’s a decent segue into reporting to the army that we are functioning at roughly 24/7 capacity in the server again. Chat is active around the clock with rarely more than 20 minute lulls. This is an excellent sight to see. Personally, I find it comforting to know that at any hour of the day, I can open to our server and see “someone is typing…” almost always. We are back to embodying our title of the Army that Never Sleeps.

*clinks ice cubes in brandy*

Further, I report that the #command-room has tripled in operation activity since my return. Each day, the officers are pinged in #hicom-news, and they react with a :salute:. This means they are ready for me to assign them an order, which I do. In this way, I distribute equal, specific tasks every day which are tailored to each particular officer’s strengths. By ensuring these tasks favor the skills of the assigned officer, and by ensuring they are specific and manageable, the likelihood that they are accomplished increases, and when each order–big or small–is heeded, morale soars.

I recently spoke with one of the Commissars about my leadership strategies. In this conversation, I said that the price of an order not being fulfilled is not that the order doesn’t get fulfilled. The price is the drop of morale. If one task is ignored, more will be, until the situation feels hopeless and no task seems worth the bother of doing. Therefore, a critical part of my job as your first-in-command is to identify “heavy lift” tasks that seem to be roadblocks for progress, and I remove those tasks. I tackle the heavy-lift items that prevent your success in what you do for the RFCP.

The duties of my officers should always include helping me identify what those roadblocks are, and then bringing them to me with trust that I will resolve them.

This system (part of the “potluck” approach outlined in my Two Phase Plan), has been working remarkably well. Not only does it lend each officer a unique sense of purpose, but it makes for a truly astounding sight when all the fulfilled orders come together to create a mosaic of a high-functioning, healthy, well-run army.

What, you ask, if an officer doesn’t react to my ping to receive an order?

*sips brandy*

They might get one anyway.

Next, I offer some numbers that prove the vastly improved health of the RFCP.

Using the Wayback Machine (an online archive which stores screenshots of websites on past dates), I have acquired the tally of our total blog hits from 2020 to compare with today:

September 2020 (the month I left)

June 2, 2022 (three days before my return)

In roughly the entire time since my departure and my return (about 21 months), the blog garnered approximately 3,898 hits 51,685-47,787 = 3,898).

Now, from June 2, 2022, to only today (June 30, 2022), I did the math on how many hits we’ve accumulated.

June 30, 2022

(52,994-51,685 = 1,309)

In only 25 days of me being back in command, the blog has earned approximately 1,309 hits. That’s almost 33% of ALL the hits we received in 21 months in just 25 days.

*lights cigar*

I think I earned it.

*puffs, leans back in armchair*

The ranks page and the medals page on our blog have been updated. The history is in the process of being updated as well. Gen. Tumbling is spearheading an effort to get a handle on our army Wikipedia, which would be an excellent milestone for us.

Also back for the RFCP is the tradition of officers holding office hours. Office hours are important ways for the army to demonstrate open lines of communication between hicom and soldier. Even if no one signs up for an office hour appointment, I am proud to see my officers rotating to regularly offer them in #news.

Penultimately, I report that (save a few hiccups, which were always adapted for), the weekly schedule I promised in Phase I has been upheld. Sunday Funday, RFCP-U Mondays, training Tuesdays, casino night Wednesdays, Prior blog post Thursdays, movie night Fridays, and miscellaneous Saturdays are being faithfully kept. I’ve seen an uptick in suggestions being posted in #suggestions, and the officers are doing their best to follow through. One soldier suggested we resume holding mandatory events, presumably so that we can feel some of that thrill and gravity that surrounds a high-stake event.

Make note that Phase II, which begins July 5, has huge plans in store for what will absolutely demand mandatory participation from the soldiers.


Finally, I report the fruitful reappearance of many previously dormant members, who, as Commissar Hamsterlover lovingly put, must have smelled the alpha presiding once more and were drawn back. We’ve seen Maj. CC, Sgt. L1ghnting, Brig. Dab0n, Col. Shy Guy, Gen. Tumbling (of course), and more resurrect since my return.

None of this is to sing my own praises: It is to imbue you with confidence and encouragement that the state of the Federation is strong. It has exhibited unprecedented rejuvenation in what I would call, so far, a complete success for Phase I of my return. Your own participation, dedicated support of the army, and indomitable spirits are no small part of this achievement.

But I do have one question.

Did we ever figure out what the name of the 6th Great Grey Bear was…?

Remember this post?



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