The Forest is Cursed

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA–RFCP attempted to log onto Ukahala for a medal-pinning ceremony, but discovered the curse….

It was to be a classic army event. Uniformed personnel were to congregate at the Cove and watch the Commander honor a slew of soldiers with their one, two, and three years of service medals. The time was 9:00 p.m. EST.

However, as Commander Prior Bumble appeared on Northern Lights, he received pings from the soldiers still on Discord.

Strange, as the cpps seemed to work for Prior, Shy Guy, and Maj. October, who were already at the Cove. Field Marshal Aqua, Maj. DJ, and Capt. Choco received instructions to X out or reboot their PCs, to no avail. The three of them reported that their technology troubles began after they’d entered the Forest…

Of course, as the event time neared and a handful of the attendees were still logged out, those online were determined to find out the source of the problem. Was the Forest truly…cursed?

Prior braved the odds and dove into the room.


It was true! Once Prior tried to enter the Forest, Ukahala entered into a period of permanent load screen!

Then, Commissar Hamster tried to log on…perhaps to rescue October, who was the only one not experiencing issues….

October fell first.

And just like that, the curse claimed her, too.

Then….Commissar Hamster…

The forest is cursed.

For only one moment, Commissar Hamster was able to spawn again on Ukahala…

In the Forest.


Everyone else was stacked up on top of each other–and on top of Billy Bot Thorton–unable to move.

This was, in fact, all Prior had said for the past five minutes. He took it to #news.


Prior turned #copypasta into #the-forest.

At first, the army just spammed:

But soon Prior got down to business.

He announced the ceremony would take place here instead, and the list of soldiers to receive their service medals was comprised of the following:


1 year /emma/, dole, rose

2 year coolj, silla, micro, don, aqua, october, Mikan, shy

3 year prior, nellie

We know where this was going….


So this continued for each and every soldier who earned the thanks of Prior Bumble for their service, and who had their medals pinned onto their uniforms by him.

We have reliable intel that a ticket is already in with the developer to overturn the Curse of the Forest, but for now….

Amidst all the chaos of the evening, one thing did not miss our attention, however; one thing which is the opposite of curse:


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