Hamster Havoc! Battle Report of Historical Significance–And the Return of Prior?

NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA–In fulfillment of Commissar HamsterloverL’s birthday wish, Commander Prior returned…

…to full command for one day, and led RFCP in an historic practice battle. Details below!

First, the blog wishes many more healthy and happy birthdays to our beloved 2ic, Commissar Hamster, who celebrated her birthday last week. But on August 21st, 2021, Hamster was given….

A demotion?!

That’s right. Commander Prior Bumble retook the 1ic position in order to grant Hamster’s birthday request:

This resulted in some role changes! Coolj reprised his role as Commissar, and Hamster returned to General, in keeping with the constitutional requirement that there be only one Commander and one Commissar at any given time.

While Prior made a few tweaks to the server to more authentically reflect an RFCP reunited under him, the reinvigorated energy of the army was directed to that evening’s practice battle.

Upon hearing that Prior would be leading, an impressive 15 soldiers showed up to fight alongside him–a number that has been unheard of in RFCP for some time, and almost never at a non-high stake event (“high stake” such as a battle against another army). Among them, to everyone’s shock and delight, was the honorably retired Commissar Redbackwards, there to celebrate her best friend’s birthday!

Of course, just like old times, Prior delivered a battle speech before the event that roused the hearts of the soldiers.

Cheers resounded, and the practice battle soon to be known as “Hamster Havoc” began on server Northern Lights, cpps Ukahala. Read on for our detailed battle report.

Room 1: Stadium


As troops continued to log in, RFCP deployed into an X formation at the stadium, followed quickly by an E+T rake, sliding back and forth on the ice. After this, Prior ordered a surround, where the first spoken tactics were executed: “WE ARE ALIVE.” It certainly felt and looked so. Next was a clockwise blender, with the cry: “TODAY WE FIGHT WITH LEGENDS.” The room concluded in a strong V formation spitting coins.

Room 2: Forts

AoW 2.42 “Feed off of war. Grow off of war. May combat rage give you life.”

Prior’s choice of rooms for this event certainly hailed to a time of classic warfare. RFCP invaded the Forts next, beginning with a bomb into a / formation. Pizza emojis rained down seconds later in a waterfall. After, the army stood guard in a backwards L. Prior then ordered an upside down T formation and a barrage of jokes. The final move of the room was an E+B bomb, as the third and final destination loomed…

Room 3: Berg


RFCP E+1 seized the Iceberg and morphed into a + formation. Here, we shouted: “WE STAND FOR LOVE, STRENGTH, AND KIN” and “ONE ARMY UNDER PRIOR.” The highlight of the room, however, and maybe even the practice battle, was when Prior, without warning, ordered a Red Wave–RFCP’s signature move. The army had not performed it for almost a year…

And Prior hooted with amazement when each and every soldier didn’t miss a single beat.

But the event wasn’t done just yet. Prior dispersed the army and shouted for them to take the claw formation–three vertical lines like so | | |.

Here, the ERAT | IPSO | SACRA, a classic, was performed, as well as RED | BACK | WARDS and HAPPY | BIRTHDAY | HAMSTER.

Finally, the army E+G bombed into an R formation, where final cries of victory resounded.


Officers shared Prior’s astonishment at the incredible performance of the army after so long. RFCP truly was looking like its old glory.

Celebrations then migrated to Hamster’s recreation of the famous bar, Lucky’s, where, let’s just say, plenty shennanigans were had…

We thank all the participants who made this day so successful. It was sad when, at exactly midnight, Prior disappeared once more.

But it was inspiring to see what we were, what we are, and, if we want…

What we still could be.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: