So Much Has Happened: A Fireside Chat with Prior Bumble

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Dear Soldiers of the RFCP,

This blog has been remiss in failing to write upon the parade of monumental events that have shaken and strengthened the RFCP. That is because, of course, history is hard to write synonymously as it is being lived. I tormented over how to record this. First I considered doing several short posts on the separate events and releasing them all in succession. Then I realized that these historic happenings need a more intimate guide to discuss them, and so I address you now from my armchair at the undisclosed location of my office. I offer you a brandy and one of my finest cigars from the humidor.

*Cuts own cigar and lights it.*

*Leans back and puffs.*

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Let’s begin.

Contents of the Fireside Chat:

  1. Assisting EGCP in the first RPF battle since the terms of the Revolution
  2. RFCP Adds Three New Ranks
  3. Prior Bumble Marries Sidie
  4. The Standoff at Northern Lights
  5. Shock Troops Merge, Reform, and Rebirth
  6. RFCP Establishes an Economy
  7. RFCP Declares Independence from CPA
  8. Prior Bumble Goes to the Desert
  9. Club Penguin Warfare
  10. Arctic Ops Declassified
  11. Miscellaneous Updates

Assisting EGCP against RPF

The hectic month of November began for RFCP with the first battle against RPF after the terms set by the Revolution. RPF scheduled an invasion on our most historic ally, EGCP, to punish EGCP for invading LGA for invading ST. Per the Revolutionary agreement, EGCP was allowed 1 army to fully attend the invasion on their side. They chose RFCP.

For many, it was to be the battle that manifested Pewter Hopscotch. I wielded tremendous excitement to finally fight in RFCP uniform against RPF, full force, alongside my brother Edu. We met our allies before the battle to practice:

Estamos com voce. “We are with you.” Our unity looked strong. But as RPF logged on, grey and blue become lost in a tornado of green goggles. RPF’s “Strike Force” maxed over 40, something everyone observing from EGCP’s side scoffed at. “Strike Force” is meant to be a smaller division of RPF to offer competitive matches, but it always seems to max whatever it needs for a safe victory. Disheartened EGCP logged off, leaving RFCP to max higher throughout the whole battle.

Edu conceded to RPF’s victory with a defeatist, “Would have been nice to actually fight RPFSF.” To many Revolutionary leaders, doubt began to creep in about the true effectiveness of their achievements against RPF unfairness.

RFCP Adds Four New Ranks

To ever increase incentive to put effort into the RFCP, I established four new ranks to our ladder. The ranks are:

Ice Corporal




The new order of ranks is now: Enlisted (non-combat), Agent, Ice Agent, Corporal, Ice Corporal, Sergeant, Lieutenant, Brigadier, Captain, Major, Colonel, General/Admiral, Commissar, Commander.

Admiral is the equivalent rank of General for our Navy (AUSIA division). Admiral Eva/Sidie became the first to wear its title. Red Baron will be the equivalent for our Air Force (EU division).

Prior Bumble Marries Sidie

Invitation by Roman

Meanwhile, many had noticed a change in my disposition after the second departure of Kailey310. One for the better. A romance between Sidie, Chairwoman of PIC, and myself had bloomed

RFCP was jubilant. Preparations for the wedding began, which included choosing groomsmen and bridesmaids, first songs, outfits, and of course (humorous NSFW pics to follow)…

The Bachelor Party:

And the Bachelorette Party:

I detailed the story of our love the day before the wedding.

When the day finally came, RFCP and friends gathered in the church erected by RomanPrince. Commissar Red stood at the altar as the officiant, and Cena stood at my side as Best Man.

Before the ceremony began, a horde of UMA-dressed raiders stormed Oasis and chanted vulgar language. They claimed to be the KKK, and they shouted unrepeatable violent slurs at Sidie. RFCP had to think fast to save the event. I announced in our Discord that the event is to be moved to Northern Lights, but privately DM’ed everyone that we’d simply return to Oasis in 10 minutes’ time.

The ruse worked. We all returned to the church, and the doors were safely locked.

What followed was a graceful matrimony, and a rocking reception that included speeches and dancing (Lt. CC danced with me as the mother of the groom, and Sidie and I danced to “I’ll Be” by Edwin McCain). Even Lucky, in lime green puffle form, surprised us with his attendance! Adiamond, who later revealed herself to have been Paperback all along, was there to my alarm as well. The highlight, however, was no doubt RFCP’s synchronized and spontaneous performance of “The Cha Cha Slide” on the dance floor.

In Cena’s Best Man toast, he said, “Prior is one of my best friends, both in the game, and in real life. Sidie, please take care of him.”

After the revelry subsided, Sidie and I snuck off to the iceberg to share a private moment between only us on the sacred ground.

The Standoff at Northern Lights

Speaking of sacred ground, RFCP endured teasing throughout the time of ACP’s occupation of Northern Lights following the Revolution. We were ridiculed as being “homeless.” Three times, I tried to enter negotiations with Koloway, now 1ic of ACP (replacing Chainpro, who went AWOL in late October), to return the capital.

I turned down all of ACP’s propositions, which included 1) Forcing RFCP to dress in ACP uniform, and 2) Demanding we give Blizzard (CPR) for it. Standing tough and not accepting these ludicrous initial offers is a leadership move I am proud of, as you will see more about later.

But some in RFCP grew antsy. I proposed a lighthearted idea for an event, in which RFCP would log onto Northern Lights and drill at the iceberg, with aims to….

Kailey310, who in addition to joining RPF also enlisted in ACP (because she’s extra, just like guac), used a spy account to alert ACP. The whole army logged on to ambush us in minutes. ACP adopted a viciously serious attitude, while RFCP remained blase and comedic.

McHappy DM’ed me then, and asked if we could all log off at the same time at :30. I agreed. But :30 came, and while RFCP logged off except for me, 4-5 ACP were still there.

That is when the standoff began. Because ACP did not honor its word, I refused to log off first. Despite brave RFCP soldiers imploring me to allow them to join my standoff, I insisted, “This is something I need to do alone.”

I kept myself active on the iceberg, clicking around every few minutes so as not to be booted for inactivity. An hour turned to two. I remained, along with Kailey310, Tymatt, King Mondo, and a few others.

They donned RFCP uniforms with clown costumes overtop. They spammed the !ai for my special hat and wore it. They threw snowballs at me. They called me “mental.” They laughed about personal things Kailey knew about me and shared with them. The only response I ever gave was, “I have no hate in my heart for any of you” over and over.

One by one, they faded off. I continued to sit there, silently, on the sacred ground of Northern Lights. It came down to me and Kailey.

Finally, at 2:04 a.m., five hours later, Kailey logged off.

I was the last one standing guard.

The victory may seem a small one, but to those with RFCP in their spirit, it was a moment of renewed faith in the devotion of their Commander, and in what it means to have pride in this army.

Shock Troops Merge, Reform, and Rebirth

When RFCP and ST battled at the first round of CPANN’s November tournament, few knew it would be ST’s last time in action.

Prior and Cena traded at least four tactics of “Round ___ of open letters, eh?” counting upwards by one each time.

On November 16th, 2019, Cena announced that Shock Troops would be closing its doors. He lacked the time necessary to keep it healthy, and approached me about merging into RFCP. Of course, I lunged on him with a hug and expressed how nothing would make me happier.

Shock Troops flooded in, and both sides rejoiced. Roughly equivalent ranks were given, and Cena was sworn in as an officer.

Thus, the artificial war between RFCP and ST, staged three days earlier, was revealed as fake.

I had agreed to conspire with Cena by staging this artificial conflict between us, one meant to ensure for Cena the trust of the NDA (New Dawn Alliance: RPF, LGA, and ACP, created to contend the CNA/Crimson Night Alliance: RFCP, ST, PIC, and EGCP). Throughout these fake battles, hippieFresh of LGA would message me and ask if I was angry. I was disgruntled by how much Fresh seemed to relish in my best friend betraying me, and of course, RFCP as a whole was displeased that the LGA, which just recently became “neutral” in our foreign relations, thirsted for RFCP secondhand blood.

Once ST was safely behind RFCP gates, we declared war on LGA. Having never bounced back from the Whack-A-Mole War, LGA knew it stood no chance defending from RFCP invasion.

Minutes later, Koloway (ACP) was in my DMs.

My standing firm against ACP’s first offers paid off. Koloway transferred Northern Lights in exchange for my calling off the war with LGA, which many agreed would have costed them several servers. RFCP and ACP also agreed to lay down arms until 2020.

We held a victory parade that cumulated with a tear-filled speech delivered by me, as the day coincided with an emotional anniversary in my personal life.

Later, the army held a practice battle in which Cena led OG RFCP and I led the mergers, a way for new soldiers to meet me, and the new officer (Cena) to meet the soldiers. During this battle, a new phrase of Penguin Latin was revealed: Sch’ock sum nuvar. It means, “Stronger as one.”

The event was beautiful. But in a bittersweet twist of chance, the union would not last long. Out of the blue, Cena received word that he had been granted authorization to reform his favorite army, the Pretzels of Club Penguin, from an old PCP legend. It had been his dream ever since returning to armies, and yet the timing could not have been more unfortunate. It was difficult for me, I admit, to take the news only three days later. But in the end, I wanted him to realize his dream. Cena and the mergers left with our blessing to a salty future.

Surprisingly, Snork of Winged Hussars decided that he, too, would close the doors of his old and respected army and co-lead Pretzels with Cena. The revived army opened its doors as a multi-divisioned operation.

As with any army Cena creates, RFCP stands as its brother.

RFCP Establishes an Economy

To boost engagement, I had the idea of creating RFCP currency; bills which would feature iconic RFCP heroes and which could be used to award soldiers for attending battles and recruiting new members. Those bills could then be traded for prizes.

The Bank of RFCP was opened, and Lt. CC was named Treasurer. Waffle, Opino, Roman, Sha, Noob, and myself designed the bills. While I initially suggested I be on the $20, the army insisted Prior Bumble be on the $100.

Each bill features our motto and the date of our founding. The economy functions as such:

The Market (prices subject to fluctuation), offers the following prizes:

I declared that money may not be pooled or donated, but that prizes may be bought for another, and that gambling is permissible.

Mischief most definitely ensued.

RFCP Declares Independence from CPA

November 21st, 2019 will be marked in RFCP history as the day the army declared independence from CPA.

I was accused of awful things after a screenshot from July was leaked about me with little context. Those already against us spread the flames of fury around CPA and called for my blood. The allegations were complimented by criticisms about RFCP’s tendency to goof around in NSFW ways during some of their parties. CPANN insultingly forbid me from leading my own army in the next round of the tournament. In response, RFCP voted 24-4 to reject the tournament if Prior Bumble could not lead. We pulled out.

Ultimately, the action from CPA was a ban on myself for 2 weeks, and (this being the unacceptable part), a ban on the army as a whole for one week, with a price of losing half of our servers.

Where, we asked, was the ban when our wedding was raided and dirtied with horrifically sexual and threatening language in the presence of minors? Where were the announcements? Where was the outrage?

Where were the announcements, bans, and outrages when a certain leader aggressively attempted to describe inappropriate things in our server to a 9 year old against RFCP’s will?

Where were the announcements, bans, and outrages for literally anything but RFCP-related drama in CPA for the past two months?

Our army and my name became abused for the sake of views. In fact, weeks after Kailey’s first open letter, DMT apologized to me for allowing her to publish it. He said he had let her go forward because it would get views, “And it did. That day was like our third most popular day.”

I began to feel like the narrative of anti-Prior was candy to CPA audiences.

After two open letters, a hate group (which included Kailey, Cabin, and a living Colonel Boi…), violations of our privacy, constant mockery in the CPA server, and exhausting raids of our events, this injustice was RFCP’s final straw. I, Prior Bumble, authored the RFCP Declaration of Independence, and the officers signed. The copy below is the abbreviated, official version. Additional information included in the original declaration were: a 1 paragraph rebuttal to the screenshot in question, additional signatures of soldiers, and a note to DMT expressing my regret for trying to transfer our servers before DMT could pass the “punishment,” something he told others ruined his trust in me.

In the end, instead of transferring our servers anywhere, we transferred our entire army into a new era.

Prior Bumble Goes to the Desert

Nonetheless, the public shaming was heartbreaking to me. I realized I had already taken months of hurt, and my strength to take anything more left me. To the shock of my army, I posted my leave:

I disabled my account, handed only Cena my phone number, and disappeared. Chaos erupted at first. And then, determination. RFCP soldiers courageously banded together.

Away from Discord, I, as every leader does once in their career, withdrew to the desert. Here, I prayed, reclaimed sleep, wrote, and, most importantly, I met with the youngest Grey Polar Bear of the Int’ai’uto Strait (his age still being 804 years). He lives in a cave overlooking the sea, the only location I know, for I am not yet worthy to meet with any of the five elder brothers.

During this journey north, I blackened one finger to frostbite. I consider this a relic of my transformation. The following is a transcript of my discussions with the bear, whose name I am not permitted to share with you. I’ll refer to him as GPB (Grey Polar Bear).

GPB: Dru fhar kuul?

Prior Bumble: I am.

GBP: Vash.

Prior Bumble: My only wish was to be a good leader.

GBP: R vei’u granvar.

Prior Bumble: No.

GBP (more forecfully): R vei’u granvar.

Prior Bumble: …Prior Bumble.

GBP: Su’v al teyon, vei’u?

Prior Bumble: I can’t. I don’t know how.

GBP: Tuk lar vei’u.

Prior Bumble: Help me to.

GBP: Carr huk son. Feut dushamon RFCP. Vash carr, ipso sacra. Vei’u, carr?

Prior Bumble: Yes.

GBP (forcefully): Vei’u, carr?

Prior Bumble: Yes. Vei’u. Erat ipso sacra.

GBP: Erat ipso sacra, Prior Bumble.

Thus, I returned home…

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I asked RFCP to privately hold a vote as to whether they would see me reinstated as their Commander in Chief.

The vote was unanimous.

Club Penguin Warfare

And so the story comes to a head with RFCP becoming the father army of CPW, a new league for armies. Supporters came from all corners of the community. PyxelPranav signed up to handle the operations of our in-the-works CPPS. Homeless Hamster joined as a reporter. Camie headed up the resources division. And of course, RFCP soldiers themselves broke backs to design graphics and put together the map, constitution, resources, and website.

Sneak peek of the unfinished map

Several things will make CPW different. The first is that we will not allow the bullying that took place against RFCP to happen to anyone else. Second, we will have admins elected by the people. Third, we will have fair tournaments. Fourth, our CPPS will not run on Flash.

Another feature that makes us unique is the concept of resources attached to servers:

I have expressed to DMT (CPA) and Epic (CPOAL) both that it is my wish that our leagues be friends. Epic has refused. DMT seems hesitantly open.

Most pressingly, our army bot is named Billy Bot Thorton, and we love him.

From here forward, many more posts about CPW and a closer look into its characteristics should be expected.

Arctic Ops Declassified

This morning, the news broke that Artic Ops was a fake army run by RPF. Its hicom, resetbtn and Ogibaan, were really Ultipenguinj and Pookie, respectively.

Myself and a few others in Zero Cap Alpha knew this a day before the blog post on RPF’s website confessed the truth, thanks to an anonymous source:

The purpose was to gain the trust of the CNA and infiltrate its secrets, such as logging on alts to help allies and of course, RFCP’s War of East and West against Wild Ninjas being a phony war I conspired with Jeremito in order to prevent RPF from invading us (one of the terms of the Revolution being that RPF cannot get involved in a foreign war).

While the espionage is impressive, the emotional manipulation I felt upon learning that Reset was UPJ haunted me. Reset was kind to me, and made me feel like someone good in CPA doesn’t hate me like so many others. He made me feel like I had a friend.

At one time, AO even pretended to consider colonizing under RFCP:

The news was unsettling to almost everyone, and reaffirmed concerns that RPF’s control in CPA is pandemic.

Miscellaneous Updates

I offer two miscellaneous updates from RFCP.

First, RFCP made a loaf of kiwi together:

Second, we held a funeral for Brigadier Hamster’s fallen hamster, Thea.


*taps cigar*

My Cuban is about stubbed.

A lot has happened. And yet…

Here we are. At the blog. Gathering again to read where the Recon Federation of Club Penguin travels next.

We are not gone. We did not run.

We are here.

Get used to it.

— Commander Prior Bumble


2 Responses

  1. okay now this is epic

  2. Erat Ipso Sacra

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