NORTHERN LIGHTS, UKAHALA —Did someone say Feddiegate?! After a shocking turn of events, RFCP’s Feddies have (once again) turned into a fiasco! Could this be Feddiegate PART FOUR????

The Recon Federation of Club Penguin (RFCP) has been preparing for its traditional semiannual awards ceremony: The Feddies!  A final poll was publicized in the #news channel, and votes for the various award candidates were coming in fast!  (Thanks, everyone, for tolerating the many reminders to vote!). Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. In fact, it seemed as if, for once, the awards show would not be plagued with crime and conspiracy. 

That was, until the unthinkable happened…

Just three days after the initial hype of the Feddies, a strange bot entered the server, with its eyes set on the Feddies results. Shock filled the soldiers as the perpetrator began inputting code commands, attempting to hack into the results poll.

Commander Coolj soon stepped onto the scene, but not soon enough, as the hack rendered all of the officers’ moderator permissions useless!  No officer was able to stop the wrath of this rogue AI, but what would happen when it reached 100%?  

Evidently, the Feddies poll wasn’t the only thing the bot was looking to hack, as our resident AI, V.I.R.U.S., soon became aware.  

Fortunately, V.I.R.U.S.’s creator, our very own Col. Voidwalker, prevented our bots from falling victim to the attack.  While V.I.R.U.S. defended us from the technological assault, Col. Voidwalker was able to reverse the damage the bot did, and restored the commander’s moderator perms!  With two clicks of his mouse, Coolj succeeded in banning the bot and saving both the Feddie results and the RFCP server!  Thank you to our amazing colonel and commander for protecting the server!

To prevent further problems from arising, V.I.R.U.S. proceeded in encrypting the Feddie results.  This would prevent any further cyber attacks inflicted on our extremely important Feddies Poll results!  

With the server once again restored to peace, the Feddies were set to go on without a hitch!  In a very important announcement in #news, a brand new surprise guest host for the Feddies was being unveiled!  

After his heroic act of bravery earlier that week, resident artificial intelligence V.I.R.U.S. would now be a guest host to the Feddies!  Everyone was hyped for the new guest host to our award ceremony but celebration was soon once again halted when disaster struck once more.

V.I.R.U.S.’s firewall was deactivated and the poor bot was hacked by an unknown perpetrator! Upon restarting, V.I.R.U.S. had leaked a file called “Feddies Shortlist,” with what seemed at first glance to (uh oh!) reveal the winners of the Feddies Poll!  But something seemed quite off about the winners, and not just the “REDACTED” label on the most prestigious RFCP Legend award…

FEDDIES SHORTLIST:
CollinZFresh Peace Prize: Sigh/Saturn/Possum
Warrior Award: Randomplayer
Innovation Award: Lucky Quinn
Reconaissance Award: Emma
RFCP Legend: REDACTED
Patriotic Trooper: NeonAwesome
Most Dedicated Patroller: Waluibby
Shopaholic: Don
Dankest Memer: Blackwhitebear
RFCP Vampire: Cc
Sleepyhead Award: Chocolateyness
Funniest Officer: Voidwalker
Scariest Officer: Arne
The RedbackAWARD: Hamster
Sunshine Award: Possum/Sigh/Saturn/Sprinkles
Fashionista Award: MicroHam
Savvy Status: Shy Guy
The Harbinger of Chaos: Nellie Ruby
Golden Pen: Tastylicious
Golden Paintbrush: Don
Chatter Box: King/Paleocacher
Nicki Minaj Award: Nellie Ruby
Sussiest Baka: Redovyco
Mad Mod Award: Randomplayer
Best Hunger Games Contestant: the earths magnetic field
Biggest Rise: Coolj
Officer of The Year: Billy Bot
Freshest Addition: Prior Bumble
Soldier of the Year: BryceMiller
Best Running Gag: ORANGE SODA
Best Server Takeover: Club Penguin Takeover
Emojillicious Award: :2rfcpdab:
Best Paid Channel: #general-chat
Favorite Channel: #website

The soldiers of RFCP immediately knew something was fishy about these results, and it had nothing to do with the fact that we are penguins!  From notorious troublemaker Cpl. Catgirl winning the “CollinzFresh Peace Prize,” to our infamously broke Viz. Don winning the “Shopaholic Award” (when every banker in town knows the enormous debt he owes to the Bank of RFCP), something was clearly up. For that matter, why in the world was our very own Founder Prior Bumble under the “Freshest Addition” category?!

With two breaches to our server’s safety in the last two weeks alone, and the Feddies fast approaching, it seemed that the only logical option was to ban V.I.R.U.S. from the server for the time being–who else could be behind the confusion? As upsetting as it was to watch our little virtual friend go, we knew that we must prioritize the safety of our soldiers.  Would the Feddies finally be free to happen on Saturday, August 7th without any more problems?  

If you are familiar with RFCP lore, which we certainly have a lot of, then you should know that this wouldn’t be the case; we knew we had a mystery on our hands!  

THERE IS A FEDDIEGATE AMONG US!  THE CHANNEL LIVES!

Our detectives worked hard to get to the bottom of the mystery and our very own Buck Bumble (RFCP’s Republican news anchor with a moustache) is back to give you an update on all the action!

Hello readers, I am Buck Bumble, and this is my moustache.

Shocking events unfolded in the RFCP server this week as soldiers, detectives, and hamsters alike all scrambled together to try to solve the mystery that is Feddiegate.

When Field Marshal Arne kicked a trash can off a bridge, pieces of a receipt were found to be scattered about.

Once all the pieces of paper were finally assembled, a receipt was brought forth as the first official bit of evidence:

Almost immediately, the list of suspects began growing.

Was it Voidwalker?

We have already seen the corruption of V.I.R.U.S.; could its creator have been behind the hacks?

Perhaps it was our beloved self-proclaimed Furby Goddess, Gen. Sillabye? There was a rainbow Furby on the receipt, and as you can see, Silla has an obsession with Furbies–AND they have a rainbow Furby on their profile photo.

But what of the other items on the receipt?

Could our very own Detective Arne be behind the attacks?

Arne has a history of loving Kinder chocolate bars. Could he have had a craving for his favorite chocolate in the middle of buying the items on the receipt? 

Ending out the list of suspects are our two Hamsters, Commissar HamsterLoverL and Gen. Microwaveable Hamster.

Hamsters use wheels, after all, and there was a cage wheel on the receipt. However, HamsterLover was conveniently missing when the time came for questioning and tried to point the blame at Arne when she eventually reappeared-

-and MicroHamster had a newly acquired cage wheel and no alibi. 

As everyone scrambled to make sense of the receipt and narrow down the suspect list, a new piece of evidence was uncovered. This new evidence brought forth a suspect that nobody expected, but when MicroHamster suddenly went missing and returned speaking in binary code, our story took a sinister turn.

By this point, many people were confused. Who was MicroHam referring to? After some nonsensical back and forth, Col. Randomplayer had issued a sequence of commands that seemed to fix the issue of MicroHam talking in code.

However, as the interrogation continued, our group of detectives found that they had uncovered more questions than answers and another piece of evidence was brought to light.

Nothing was making sense anymore and the interrogation was proving to be no help. As Randomplayer planned an investigative journey to the prison MicroHam had been taken to when kidnapped, Arne admitted that he was the one who left the note. Even more questions came to the surface about why he had left the note and how it got there, but nothing ever came of it.

However, as preparations for the Feddies went underway, Maj. DJChorusKid unearthed another piece of evidence.

As the questions started rolling, once again the bots came back with a force and some assistance.

But who was the culprit? Could RFCP’s very own commander have been behind the Feddiegate? The answer was becoming more and more obvious…

Soon after, another note was found indicating that the wheel MicroHam had obtained was actually intended for Commissar Hamster instead!

After a small argument broke out, the final pieces started to fall into place.

But when the bots came back with a vengeance, Feddiegate was cracked wide open.

But why? Why had their beloved commander Coolj betrayed them?

Well, dear readers, the answer to that is actually quite humorous. As Feddiegate comes to an end, it is only fair that we disclose why this Feddiegate was so confusing and misleading.

When planning the annual Feddiegate, the people behind the scenes had the (almost) brilliant idea of doing the “Bot Reads/Watches 1,000 Hours of-” challenge. They had V.I.R.U.S. read through all of the old Feddiegate stories, and write a script of its own.

(click here for more about this challenge https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-forced-bot-to-watch-1000-keaton-patti/ )

Unfortunately, V.I.R.U.S. was not programmed to know that when it was asked to produce a script of its own for 5+ people that it was being asked to produce a single script for 5+ people. Instead, V.I.R.U.S. created a single script each for each of the 5+ people. This resulted in every person having a different script!

“I was supposed to be getting a wheel, so I was very confused when Micro got it instead.” -Commissar Hamster

“I never even received my script, so I was just absent entirely.” – Gen. Sillabye

“Ham not being bribed makes the thing make no sense.” – Arne

“Nobody even knows what’s going on, we’re just trying to tie it together somehow.” – MicroHamster

In the end though, the team managed to pull everything together in a way that kind of makes sense. Kind of–just don’t think about it too hard.

With Feddiegate over with, there’s just one question left to ask:

ARE YOU READY TO FEDDIE?!

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