Recon Federation of Club Penguin

FROM THE DESK OF PRIOR BUMBLE, COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF OF THE RECON FEDERATION OF CLUB PENGUIN

Soldiers,

You are due an analysis, and maybe even a manifesto, of the current political situation of CPA and where RFCP stands within it. So much has developed this month. Part of the Constitution we are drafting for RFCP includes an article obliging the Commander of the RFCP to be transparent with his troops in how he moves and votes in foreign affairs. Most of this post will satisfy that responsibility.

The map of CPA is deadlocked. No one can move, save for RPF and WN, who engage in touch-and-run skirmishes. The Treaty of Smog and Citrus, which ended the War of Smoke and Sour, forbids the NVA from attacking LGA, LGA from attacking the NVA, and LGA from assisting RPF. Further, RFCP is of course obliged to not target any brother NVA member. Cosmic Army, led by rosefarri and lapis, has been squashed out as a colony of the LGA. Red Rebellion is off the map currently. Attacking RPF is the only legal action anyone can take (except for attacking the Wild Ninjas, discussed in the next paragraph), and no one is willing to provoke its ire.

The Wild Ninjas, a Spanish army allied with the Brazilian EGCP (but not with the entire NVA), are the only ones who wield flexibility. They have attempted unsuccessful invasions of RPF on CPR, and scheduled but canceled one invasion of WH.

For a short time, Wild Ninjas were scheduled to join the NVA. This was an error of one NVA leader extending the invitation without consent of the other leaders. Most expressed a casual stance of welcoming regardless. I opposed. The NVA is a large alliance; it provides safety, but it cripples growth. Living off the social security check of EGCP or RPF protection will cause an army wither with the lack of necessity to grow and campaign. We are challenged in that we both love our relationships, and hunger with ambition.

Wild Ninjas ended up not joining the NVA because their scheduled-and-then-canceled invasion of WH broke the trust of the NVA. They operate on SuperCPPS frequently and are mere tenths of a point behind us in the Top Ten ranking at #5 (we hit #4, our highest yet, this past Sunday).

Something strange happens when a political deadlock like the one present occurs. Leaders stop polishing guns and start swirling brandy in their glasses. Instead of shouting orders, they think. And thus, leaders on CPA are talking. Even ones that don’t often do.

In the past week, I have had a two-hour-long conversation with admin DMT, an hour long conversation with Ultipenguin of the RPF, and an unexpected but welcomed discussion with hippieFRESH of LGA in separate private messages.

DMT and I share a love of CPA politics. We touched upon many topics therein, including the Recruitment Crisis occurring throughout all the armies after CPR’s crackdown on discord sharing. This will surely lead to a depression, unless swift alternative strategy is implemented. CPR is comfortable with RPF after so many years of their presence, but other armies do not enjoy this familiarity on the populated CPPS ripe for recruitment. Mopia, on the other extreme, recedes rapidly from the picture after their retreat from CPR, and the future of this iconic army, known for using voice chat in leading battles and exhibiting lightning fast acrobatics, is uncertain.

The admins of CPA have proposed a vote to the leaders as to whether 23 more servers should be added to the map. I voted in favor of this, but I mentioned that it would buy us only a little more time until we are deadlocked again, only with more servers and with a larger splattering of color on the screen.

What we need are new armies and new frontiers. A new desirable like resources could be added to the CPA operation — perhaps White House has gold, while Fog has lumber. This would add more to the need for servers and could frustrate old alliances and require rethinking. But it’s a whole different process.

During the WH/PZF tournament battle, Ultipenguin of the RPF sat next to me on the log at the Cove. Interestingly, RFCP and RPF have never been direct enemies; only opposed by the relationships we honor. Interested to converse with him, I noted one glaring and coincidental similarity between RPF and RFCP: our militant culture. I asked Ultipenguin if RPF enforces their soldiers to address leaders as “sir,” the way I do in RFCP.

So compelling was the conversation that we took it to DM’s. Ranks are a prominent part of RPF culture, but aren’t as enforced in interpersonal relations as they are here in our army. It was Ulti’s perspective that because RFCP is not yet so large, it can be endearing to call me “sir” or “Commander,” but this may be a trait of RFCP’s difficult to keep non-problematic as it grows. I replied, “Having a large size and having personal connection isn’t exclusive, just challenging. I won’t be shedding RFCP’s ‘sir’ bit, but I hope to reinvent what the leaders of old have corrupted.”

Conversation then turned to the NVA. Obviously, the NVA is of great interest to an RPF leader, as its purpose now seems primarily to rebuff the tidal waves RPF generates. I suggested that time may force the nature of the NVA to shift. Perhaps in the future, NVA will remain an alliance, but be activated only to defend against RPF. In such a world, WH could invade GSG, but if GSG is invaded by NVA, the coalition unites and are obliged to defend. This may never happen; or, given that NVA consumes half of the active armies, there may be no other choice.

The RPF leaders remain full of respect for myself and our army, something to be proud of (note: JDZenith is Ultipenguin).

With hippieFRESH, the conversation began more rockily; him referring to a misunderstanding/rumor floating around about my motives. I corrected him, but we soon slipped into tranquil conversing over politics yet again. It became clear that neither Fresh nor I are eager to resume LGA-RFCP conflict come August 27th. But where else do we lead? At some point, we’ll burst with, “Holy shit, someone DO SOMETHING.”

Another RPF-EGCP war maybe, instead of LGA-RFCP? What else is new?

Perhaps a renewal of our rivalry is inevitable. But both parties hunger for new frontiers – new enough to find success, but not to entangle ourselves in a conflict we cannot gain from, such as one with RPF (…yet). The Wild Ninjas still mysteriously operate with independent fury in the east…

Finally, in a last-ditch effort to bring harmony between the two army leagues, CPA and CPO, a merger was placed on the table for the leaders to decide on today. This without doubt would solve many deadlock problems. An avalanche of new armies, relations, and turmoil would refresh our pool, including well known armies such as the Pirates, Templars, Help Force, and Light Troops. Hell, there’d even be a perfect rival for PZF, the Pizza Clan. And for Winged Hussars, there is the Winged Army (!).

Problems immediately emerged, however. The terms declared that CPR would need to be entirely removed from the map (including our capital, Marshmallow), and that no other news sites were permissible. Both terms were insisted upon under the guise of “safety requirements.” However, totalitarianism will always encourage you to trade freedom for safety. I vehemently opposed both terms, alongside Sage of Mopia and Edu of EGCP. The CPO admins were not budging (conducive to the flavor of CPO elitism in the chat), and, after a long and arduous stream of messages, CPA pulled the plug. We remain grateful to DMT, flen, Greeny, Memmaw, and Super for their admirable and honest work as CPA admins.

A short vote in the leaders’ channel followed to see if the leaders wanted to merge.

I voted no, with a stipulation comment that even found common ground among newly-on-leave LGA leader Zeke.

No such changes were amenable to CPO. The brief glimmer of hope was over.

But how interesting would a CPA v.s CPO all-out war be…I admit excitement and a thirst to be strategizing in a war room with all the great leaders of CPA on behalf of the RFCP.

I will continue to maneuver us into the greatest position of power we can secure at this time. If we wish to stay in the top 4 of CPA’s Top Ten, we need to toughen, sharpen, and stand undaunted by the challenges ahead, both politically and in face of the academic recession looming before us.

I am undaunted.

Are you?

— Commander Prior Bumble

RFCP

Filed under: From the Desk of the Commander